The lies we tell our children...

[Flamesparrow]

"You have to have both sides of your hair tied up because otherwise you will be unbalanced and fall over lots"

psml jellybrain

sometimes its easier to say " the ice cream has all gone" rather than rationalise with a young child/ren.

it would only bother me if there was a liklyhood that children were going to grown up and either A) not trust you on serious issues - whic i have never found the case. i cannot verbalise it - but kids know when you are being deadly serious - so for instance - if i said ont cross the road you wouldget run over - they would believe me. despite the ice cream lie.

b) they were going to be seriously damaged by the memories of withheld ice cream way into adulthood.
balls.

sometimes it a tool i use to nesessitate my parenting. its not one that everyone should use. but i do. this doesnt mean i lie about everything. inf act as they got older i just say "no" and when they ask why . i dont sit down and tell them about a balanced diet and how much icecream is too much, how i am thinking about health issues etc. i say " becuase i said so . so sod off"

Um, spider the national shortage of lollipops was me talking to ds who was 2 1/2. Don't think he actually knew what the words 'national' and 'shortage' meant. So don't feel there was any danger of long-term damage.

He does now have a vague grasp of politics though, after 'helping' me vote last week. His latest word is pronounced 'mock-rah-see'. A good understanding of the shades of grey between truth and untruth will come in handy when it's his turn to vote.

the witch hanging from the ceiling in the soft play area is actually real, but she is asleep...but if you are naughty she will wake up and come down

my children look petrified:o

Spidermama - getting a grip women ffs. If you actually read post re naming ants you would have hopefully seen or understood that my ds was fully aware that I was teasing him - conisdering he was reading book at the same time.

'Re white lies - they can be fun - got a book called 'great lies to tell small kids' for example 'you have to name every ant you see forever, else it is bad luck'. Ds knows that is a joke and it was great fun pretending it wasn't as he knows when i am teasing. Actually gentle teasing is a better word. '

How dare you insinuate abuse. You are obviously spoiling for a fight - dont try and pick one with me cos it wont be pretty.

I could say that if someone had said what you had said they were self rightous, up their own arse, blinkered knobs.. but that would be in breach of mn rules and i woudlnt want to break those so i wont.

ooo difficult one...

I personally suffer from a terrible lack of imagination and all those made up reasons why they can't have lollipops or they can't have ice cream to be honest I would have never thought about! Nevermind the fact that I am a terrible liar. So no I have never lied to my DS in those situations and never really thought about it! I do think there is little need to lie and that they can accept the truth what's wrong with your teeth will go black? and No means No.

I do feel guilty though for the fantasy side, but I just can't do it it's not me! I do the tooth fairy and stuff like that, they are established lies and I just go with the flow, but if he asked me I wouldn't lie, I just couldn't!! We agree to disagree on God. I don't tell him there is NO god, I just say I personally don't believe.

So yes, I do feel sorry for him sometimes... I am not very "fun" I suppose, but I can't tell him the moon is made of cheese, I just can't!!! Am fun in different ways that's all. awww I feel terrible now!

He is a happy child honest!! Just a terribly reasonable one!

Come to think of it he'd challenge me anyway if I lied to him... there has been an occasion when he was 3 going on 4 yo, he was asking about engines (fan of Thomas) so we established thomas was a steam engine (though he always knew thomas wasnt real) he had an electric car and dad had a petrol car. Well few month later battery went flat on dad's car, DS was really pigged off with me for being wrong! and Dad knows a lot more than I do etc...

I think be who you are with your kids you can't kid yourself and you can't kid them! If you are into fairy stories fairy dust and stuff like that great am sure you're a wonderful, wacky and fun parent. If you're not well you're not... and you're a different type of parent more of a pillar type parent I suppose.

I don't normally tell fibs to ds. But oddly the only time he has refused to believe me was about something that is true - that Grandad can drive steam engines. Would not have it at all. Wouldn't believe dh either. Something about it was clearly so beyond normal experience that it just wasn't possible.

Of course, he was dead impressed when I got Grandad on the phone, and not only did he explain that he can, indeed, drive steam engines, but that Mummy can too! Only thing is, that's not exactly true. Grandad used to take me on the footplate when I was little. Have a horrid feeling that one will come back to bite me on the bum... probably this weekend when Grandad is taking us all out to play trains. Oops.

Oh, I do tell one fib regularly, which is that Mummy is going to eat that spoonful of food if he doesn't get it first. Actually I'm veggie and i live in fear that ds will call my bluff with some meat or fish. Bleurrgh.

Well I have gone along with the whole Santa conspiricy, but I don't lie about things like the ice-cream chimes and things like that. I don't like telling kide lies to get them to do things.

We do have chats about fantasy stuff like fairies, angels and woodland pixes which usually end with DD or Ds saying is that really true and I answer well what do you think, They reply yes it is with a sort of wink because they seem to know its our little game.

I particularly hate hearing people saying stop that or the shop lady will get you. or the bad man will get you. I have heard I kid you not "Behave or that security man will take you away and do bad things to you", FFS whats the kid supposed to do if they get lost????.

Skribble - i agree with you re hearing people saying stuff like security guard etc.. I do not do that with my son.

Re standard magic childhood stuff - he still believes and it is sweet. Re the ice cream chimes.. not had the quick thought to say that plus i wouldnt be able to keep a straight face.

I dont lie to my child - we joke sometimes like i said before. I can remember being told if i swallowed pips of grape a vine would grow in me - i believed that for ages. Oh and if i picked my nose my finger would get stuck.. The wind will change and your face will stay like that..

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Gosh I would never threaten my child
That's an entirely different thing.

It seems to be very commen I hear it all the time, like on the bus "look there's the driver coming to you". "That policeman will lock you up" is another popular one, FGS kids should't be brought up to be scared of the police.

On the subject of FC it is only this year that dd has joined the dots and realised.

She was sad for a short time when it first hit her in January this year.

However the other day she told me "I quite like the theory that Father Christmas doesn't exist because it means you have worked really hard to make it so special for me"

Those were her exact words, love the "theory" bit

i threatened my kids with " if you dont believe - you get feck all"

now go to sleep or santa aint comming.

psml Custy

Overheard in the street, Sheffield, circa 1980:-

'If you don't stop that at once Margaret Thatcher will come and get you'

excellent!

On my flight back to UK from Pakistan i told ds1 that his aunties are outside the aeroplane window, which worked well as he stopped crying. Now he always remind himself of them by pointing at the house window.

My nan used to tell me that you grew into your belly button when you got older.