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Original poster

Control crying - help me do it!

28 replies

tostaky · 22/12/2012 08:24

Ds is 7 months - he is well and he doesn't have a dummy or a comforter (whereas Dc1&2 had one).
He also dislike being on his back or sleeping on his front.
So I know how to let him cry when he goes down in the evening. But what to do when he wakes up at night? Same as bedtime (conttolled crying) or just settle him myself until he is asleep and then put him in bed? At the moment sometimes I let him have a bottle (which he doesn't drink, just sick a bit before falling asleep) or let him breastfeed (again suck a bit and sleep). If I don't do this it might take an hour each time to settle him, shhushing him and walking him around the room.
As Dc1&2 had either a comforter or a dummy, it was easy at night, but for dc3 I'm a bit lost...
What do you think? Let him cry it out at night as well?
Anyone did this?
Thanks

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/12/2012 13:14

I didn't think cc was recommended until at least 9 months?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/12/2012 13:28

Sorry I didn't mean to be so abrupt, how do you feel about letting bf to sleep when he wakes? How often is he waking? For me the easiest thing was just to let them have the short feed they wanted and then we were both back asleep in 10 minutes. If you want to do some reading on different methods, have a google of askdrsears 12 alternatives and askdrsears 31 ways to get your baby to sleep. You might also like the book Sound Sleep, you can get it from the nct shop online or your library may have it Xmas Smile

Fairylea · 22/12/2012 15:03

I'm still feeding my 7 month old to sleep. I'd just ride it out at this stage and if feeding helps, even a tiny bit, I'd do it.

I also wouldn't do controlled crying. I'd do put down and pick up... ie pick them up to soothe them, then when they stop crying put them down etc. Even if you're at it all night! But then I'm a big... big... softy !

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/12/2012 15:31

And cc doesn't work for everyone, we did it with DS and his sleep didn't improve it just made everyone in the house more miserable. We had much more success with the No Cry Sleep Solution. Think that's why I probably prefer more gentle techniques Xmas Smile

Original poster
tostaky · 22/12/2012 18:32

Cc did work very well for my first two... Only I never had to do it at night bc they had a dummy/comforter.
So my question is about how to do it at night, not whether I should do it, or when I should do it or what alternative there are.

OP posts:
SledsImOn · 22/12/2012 18:47

People have suggested alternatives.

Also crying it out is very different to CC.

I'd settle him every time, 7 months is very little and he's quite possibly teething as well which would make him want to be close to you.

It won't last forever. I'm sorry, I've never done CC or CIO so can't help you there.

JingleJohnsJulie · 22/12/2012 18:58

To be fair though lots of people don't realise that there are alternatives or that if you feed your baby instead of trying other methods, you might get more sleep with the stress.

SledsImOn · 22/12/2012 19:01

Yes it bewilders me as I always slept so well with the babies next to me and just rolling over to feed them.

Having to get up, actually upright is absolutely knackering.

SledsImOn · 22/12/2012 19:03

Oh sorry OP I understand now, you didn't want alternatives - ignore my posts then, I'm no use to you. Hope you sort it out.

JollyOldChristmas · 22/12/2012 19:08

We did controlled crying at about 7 months with Ds. He has been a fabulous sleeper ever since and loves his bed.

At 7mo Ds was fine for naps and would settle himself at bedtime but demanded to bf regularly through the night and would not sleep without it. He didn't have to feed to sleep though.

Over a couple of weeks I gradually cut each night feed down until he was only getting 1 minute at each feed.

Then we did CC from the Ferber book.

So if he woke we waited 5 minutes then went in and told him it was sleepy time. We did not pick him up. If he was still crying hard we'd go in again 10 minutes later, then 15, then 15 until he went to sleep.

The next night you wait 10 mins for the 1st wait, 15 for the second and 20 for every wait after that.

The third night you add 5 minutes again.

You really need to read the book to get the timings as it's difficult to explain them on here.

JingleJohnsJulie · 22/12/2012 19:16

Without not withXmas Blush

JingleJohnsJulie · 22/12/2012 19:27

Have you thought of posting in the sleep section, you might get responses from a few who've tried cc and had more successXmas Smile

minesapintofwine · 22/12/2012 19:57

I understand what you are asking op and my solution has been cc in the day for naps and sometimes at bedtime which was very successful but during the night I feed (my dts are neasrly 11 months though so am starting to think I need to look at this) simply because I just didn't know if they could be hungry thoug the other times they had just been fed. However if I put them in the cot after a night feed and they cry I walk out and switch the light off and they settle very very quickly if I shush/rock them it seems to prolong it. I've never done cc at night my understanding is you should if you use cc for other sleeps but they've always settled with a feed and my willpower is a lot lower at 3am! Good luck whatever you do I will look at my dts night feeds again at 12 months until then I'll carry on though not sure this has been the best idea as I am quite tired!

minesapintofwine · 22/12/2012 20:01

Ok that was long winded basically if you do cc for naps bedtime etc you should do exactly the same method evry time night or day as long as they are well comfortable dry full etc. I.e if he doesn't settle after feed and all else ok do it then exactly as you always do.

Original poster
tostaky · 23/12/2012 00:32

Thank you jolyoldchristma and pintofwine
.... Currently cc-ing... Hopefully for the best...

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Original poster
tostaky · 23/12/2012 00:48

Hes been asleep for the last couple of minutes!
For the record, I did pick-up/put-down for an hour with no luck and then decided to do cc. Did that for 20 very long minutes (but picked him up to re-assure him every 5-6 mins) and he is asleep now!
Grin

OP posts:
Saltytomato · 23/12/2012 11:13

If you want to do controlled crying then you really need to read the book by doctor Ferber, 'solve your child's sleep problems'. He is the one that invented the progressive waiting approach. Basically you do them same at night as you do for putting him down to sleep.

First day : 2 mins, the 5 mins, then 10 min ( once you reach 10 mins you keep repeating every 10 minutes) intervals, going in and reassuring him, but not feeding or rocking etc.

Then each day you lengthen it by a few minutes until you just go in every 15 minutes...

Ferber says that you should give your baby milk only when you want to get him up for the day and expose him to loads of natural light so he knows that night is for sleeping and day is for eating etc.

RooneyMara · 23/12/2012 11:21

Didn't Ferber also recommend it only for 12 months and up though? (I've no idea - I haven't read it so could be wrong)

Saltytomato · 23/12/2012 11:36

No, in his revised edition he recommends it as soon as they are eating solids and can get enough nourishment during the day. He actually says from 5 months!

RooneyMara · 23/12/2012 11:38

Oh really? That's news to me - thankyou. I'll revise my thoughts on it then Smile

Saltytomato · 23/12/2012 11:43

No worries, I thought 5 months was a bit young to try it personally, but that's what he says :)

Original poster
tostaky · 24/12/2012 21:58

Thank you saltytomato
I need to be more consistent as I have been breastfeeding him around 4am when he wakes up....
I have seen an improvement but we are not the yet... And I'm a bit worried that in a few days we go to my parents and it is going to mess up everything (although I should be able o keep the evening routine)

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Original poster
tostaky · 24/12/2012 22:02

Was going to say, i do only 5 minutes max. Because I hate to let him cry... MUST be tougher!!! I can increase by one or two minutes tonight maybe...

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JollyOldChristmas · 24/12/2012 22:15

I actually found it was easier for everyoneif we left it a little longer. I thought he cried more if I went back in.

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