Are you more or less happy after having children?

[Jac1978]

Honest answers please!

The happy bits are much much happier.

The less happy bits are far more stressful and frustrating.

I think I feel more extreme emotions since having kids.

I don't know about happy, but I'm more emotionally awake and alive. feel like I was half asleep before I had kids and now my eyes are open to what's important.

Some beautiful posts on this thread c

For me - much happier. I was neurotic, insecure and paranoid before - DS makes me important, valuable, and there's a higher purpose to things I do. Work never made me feel happy, I don't think - not like motherhood has.

All the 'it's bloody hard' caveats apply, and the post about sacrificing other relationships too...

Less happy with my relationship with dh.
More happy otherwise.
Oh but less happy about lack of sleep!
Hmm conclusive....

Thank you, Gilberte. I feel the same.

must say that i am very happy but no doubt to say that they give me really tough time

I think that overall I am happier and more fulfilled. But there have been many days when I have wondered why on earth I decided to have children.

There are those moments - in the sun when the children are playing nicely and I'm sipping coffee with a friend - when I think I wouldn't change this for the world.
But I have found alot of motherhood dull and isolating - I'm not really very good at cooking and cleaning and all that domestic stuff - I don't enjoy it.

I think it has taken me a long time to accept changes to my life, the limitations on my freedom and the change in the dynamic between dh and me. I found them being babies really hard and I was less happy then, also much, much less happy when I was pg.

Now they are 2 and 5 and I've just been promoted at work and will be going from 3 to 4 days and we'll have a bit more money and I feel very happy and satisfied with that - I think getting the balance right between work and home has been important for me.

MillionPramMiles, I feel for you (I totally get your name). Having had 2 high needs babies, I can safely say that now they are 9 and 6, this is a truly golden age. I cannot believe how easy they are. Of course, at this age, there are other challenges (homework, social, activities) but it is a million miles better.

I totally enjoy having them around now. Hang in there. You will be so proud of your dd and yourself soon and those days pounding the pavement, endless soothing and living on eggshells a distant memory

I am happier and I think DH is too.if you had asked me this 6 months ago, I am not sure I would have felt the same - has taken me a loooong time to get my head round being a mum - but I agree about the alone time - my 2 hour commute each day is my alone time and I cherish it!

It's a constant state of happiness arising out of a steady deep love like never before.

I am happy. Happier. But stretching to the best of my capacity at each level, in every dimension. I learn all the time. I now know the blissful period of 'he has eaten well and is sleeping through the night' from the 'oh god please make him better and normal soon'.

I think that your personality just shhhthoomps from being small single happy person to an all encompassing, deeply loving, fully alert, all seeing, all fearing giant panda like creature with superhuman paranoia powers

far happier, more content and fulfilled overall. On a day to day basis happier but more frustrated and tired. I could go back to no DC, but my own self would never have allowed it.

oh without a doubt happier. That is not to say I was not happy before. I was, relative to my life at the time, very happy pre-children. And then I became a parent to my DD, and my happiness reached a different level, one I did not feel capable of. And then, DS came along, and that continued further. I compare the happiness then and now, and I am happier yes, but, it's a different happiness. It is a fulfilment.

Much happier.

Much happier now. We had 4 rounds of IUI and 2 of IVF before being blessed with our beautiful twins, who were very hard work at first but now at 13 mo they are a joy to be with. i jump out of bed every morning to see them standing up babbling to each other, and I rush home from my part time job to see their faces light up when I come through the door. Can't remember life without them

It is just another stage of life. I am different.

And in our parental path there are stages that are easier, happier than others.

I was happy before having kids (7 years ago) and I'm happy now - I am basically a contented kind of person!

But I know I would NOT be happy if I was still childless at this age (I'm 38). I always wanted kids and would be devastated if it seemed like they might not be a part of my life.

Definitely happier in a 'more fulfilled' way. I love being a mummy. (Would like a bit more sleep though )

Genuinely, the first few months were not good. I am very honest with my DH and he was worried as I cried many tears and said over and over that I just didn't "get it". I had a difficult birth and not much help, save DH afterwards and my recovery both mentally and physically was slow.

I don't feel as though I bonded with DD until she was about 7 months and then it suddenly clicked and now I find it amazing. I am still sad that I didn't enjoy it much the first few months but you can't change things and now I'm just happy in a way that I can't quite describe. Yes, at times it's relentless and I totally have mumsomnia due to worrying too much but no, I wouldn't change things.

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999000900000009999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 billion times happier with kids.

Blue shoes - thanks. Am currently wondering how I'm going to get through Xmas day without bursting into tears but its probably just tiredness. Keep calm and carry on...

millionprammiles, I will probably be joining you on the bursting into tears front, and yes it probably will be due to tiredness at its core. Don't underestimate how utterly shit and despairing constant, relentless tiredness can make you feel. I hope you are able to snatch some downtime and if you want a rant, there's always the crap sleeper thread in Sleep! (Sorry, can't link at the mo.)

At first I was a bit shell shocked, but definitely happier. Like other people said, different happier. Just more tired (7 month old with sleep regression).:)

MillionPram, so sorry. It is hard, very hard especially over Christmas where there is much to do and it gets dark so soon and cold. The walls can just close in. I hope you will be seeing your family/relatives over this period. Stressful as it will be for you, the best thing is you will have lots of people who will find your dd adorable and charming and keep her entertained.

Yes, you might have to take her out in the pram once she starts to fret, but otherwise, I say, take full advantage of the mulled wine and let others take over.

You are doing great

MillionPram- Christmas is stressful enough-I've been bursting into tears loads recently and mine are older and sleep more now. I had a high needs baby ( now a fantastic little girl but still hard work) and a very chilled second baby so I know how absolutely hard parenting the former can becan be.

This might be a hard thread for you to read. It is lovely to hear people expressing how happy they are but when you aren't enjoying life in that way it can be difficult to hear it.

There are lots of threads on Mumsnet where people admit to feeling regrets and sadness and frustration, however much they wouldn't be without their children.

Thx blue shoes, have survived the day without tears :)
Thx gilberte - the great thing about mumsnet is although I don't know anyone with a baby like mine, which can feel isolating, I know from MN that lots of people have similar difficulties. Knowing I'm not alone helps a lot.

And it's still heartwarming to hear people say how happy their children make them. Merry Xmas fellow mumsnetters (raises a toast).