On becoming Mary Poppins... Toddler and newborn support thread #2

[ThePinkNinja]

A place to continue the complaining conversation about the hair pulling days and sleepless nights fun and frolics of life with a toddler and newborn

Re weight loss, I'm only 1 1/2lb heavier than the weight I was when I fell pregnant with DS 1 and DS2. But ideally I'd like to weigh 3 stone less. But I breasted ds1 until I was 2 months pregnant with ds2 and still feeding ds2 and will be for at least another 4 months, probably more as he has a very high palate and is incapable of latching on/sucking bottles or spouts etc. the health visitor said you shouldn't diet when bf'ing and it does seem to be that my body wants to stay at this weight. It doesn't seem to matter how much I eat or don't eat, my weight stays the same whether i have no snacks, or not. If anyone has any tips on this that'd be great!

Lord I remember the mess very clearly! I was really looking forward to how much easier life would be when she weaned..... hollow laugh.

Loopy, there's some info on kellymom about b-feeding and dieting, basically as long as you don't lose too quickly or do a fad diet it's fine. I've amended my diet so I'm cutting out cheese (except cottage cheese), cutting down on bread abd only eating pita, cutting down portion size, not having seconds, cooking from scratch using the slow cooker a lot, snacking on dried fruits, carrot sticks, apples etc. I've lost about 7 lbs over about a month. Pretty slow, but I'm aiming for a diet I can stick to for life and stay healthy. I neec to lose another 2 stone to get into the "normal" bmi range. My first goal is to get out of "obese" bmi into "overweight", got to shift a stone to do that!

It's gone quiet on here! Is everyone out in the sunshine? My day started off crap and is continuing in the same vein. Just want it to be over so I can go to bed. Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight...

I'm still here, squinting bleary eyed at my phone. ds2 up every 30-60mins last night, I am well and truly exhausted.

dh got ds1 up and dressed this morning and forgot to change his nappy. wtf?? first I noticed was when it leaked while we were out. no spare clothes and the poor boy's nappy was truly rancid. just wet, but disgusting. and then there was a child at the group we were at with actual chickenpox! argh!!

so yeah. um, things have been better recently especially with the improved weather. but I'm so tired my head feels like it's going to split apart!

also I'm having a return to work dilemma. I'm really really lucky in that I don't have to, financially, although things will definitely be a bit tight. but I can't figure out what to do. ds1's lovely, wonderful childminder is leaving the profession in September when I'm due back at work. I don't particularly like the job I'm being offered - the team is really bitchy and fragmented. and I just feel so guilty about leaving my boys and hate the thought of having to find a new childminder and settle them in, when anyone's going to struggle to match up to our current one

but then if I don't go back, what does my life look like? will I go bonkers as a sahm? what happens to my career? I need someone to tell me what to do!

Holy crap crazy, that sounds awful. I was feeling all sorry for myself with my 6 hours of very broken sleep! Is he poorly?

I know what you mean about the back to work dilemma. At the moment, I don't enjoy being at home most of the time. But I would miss them too much to go full time. Because I'm only two days per week (super lucky to get) I've had to take a big step back in terms of responsibility so the job isn't that interesting, I'm returning to a job, not a career. The comite is long and once two nursery fees are paid and my travelling expenses there's not much left and I have to get up really early to get in and back in time for nursery pick up. Dd is going to school next sept and will be very young in the year, I hate the thought of her being at a childminders after a long day.... But if I stop work, that's it, no chance of part time work in my field and I really do enjoy the adult time, using my brain and meeting old friends for lunch in the city, but am I being selfish outing the whole family through the upheaval of me working when it would probably be best for everyone else if I just stayed home....?

yeah he's poorly. same again last night...not sure what I'm running on atm! chocolate I think.

gah work is tricky. I'm in a really similar position in that I could work 2 days per week. so seems silly to be angsting so much. there are so many pros and cons to each option that I'm just going round and round in circles in my head. doesn't help that I'm so tired!

but the thought of being a sahm is quite scary! it's a bit of a wide open space iyswim. I also like the stimulation of working, and what happens to my career if I don't go back? no idea if I'd be able to get back into it. I'm not sure the job I'm being offered is worth leaving my kids for, but this job isn't forever, and I'm more likely to get a better one if I stay in work.

choice is hard! damn all this having it all!

3 times I've posted on here and it's lost the whole fucking message. Fuck it x

Oh I see it has no problem posting that 1!!!

sorrz
y Debbie that made me

Me too

Totally knackered again today. Ds on antibiotics and its messing up his poor tummy and i think that's affecting his sleep. Nothing like crazy's nightmare sleeping though, we were up at 11:40, 1:17, 4:30 then dd came in with me at 630 coz she'd had a bad dream. Still, the sun is out and the birds are singing and it's a bank holiday weekend!

just.....argh, babies!!!!!! the first year SUCKS!!!!!!!

Oh dear crazy! Is ds still poorly? Just keep chanting, it will get better, I have got through this before, it will get better.....

Has a frustrated 6 month old that wants to explore but can't get going to do it x

just had one of those days, every day, for about a week!

today is a better day. but each day is so different - some good, some awful. still waiting for a bit more stability.

I've just lost the plot at dd because she wouldn't try her tea (which she said she like before cooking it - baked potato and cheese). Ds is teething and has been screaming all day and I'm so sick of dd's obstinate, unco-operative behaviour. I wish I was at work. I properly shouted at her then sat sobbing on the living room floor while ds screamed at me for half an hour. We all end up having a cuddle together and I put on the tv. Dh walks in and says "has she eaten her tea? Why is she having tv?". Fuck off dh!!!! She's now eaten her fucking potato for dh and I feel like a big parenting failure, have pretty much done everything wrong tonight. I'm just so so tired.

oh you poor thing offcolour we all have days like that - at least I certainly do! more than I'd like.

tomorrow is a new day...

Thanks crazy. Think I'm just run down, got a bit of a cold and ds is not sleeping well at night and it takes it toll after 5 months of not sleeping! My mat leave was short and stressful as well as we were having major renovations done when I was 37 weeks and had to move out for a few days! It feels like I've been really really tired for a very long time....

Is your ds sleeping any better? Is he still poorly?

wow you've really had your work cut out for you haven't you? I so know the feeling of those days when you've just had enough and you want a break, and you start calculating when it was that you last had any decent sleep...!!

are you going back to work, or are you deciding about that?

ds1 and 2 both ended up with nasty sticky colds which are still hanging around but thankfully sleep is improving. on Tuesday night ds2 actually slept 7-5!!! sadly ds1 didn't and since then sleep's been a bit haywire but survivable.

every now and then it hits me that since Feb 2010 I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding, and I get this mad itchy feeling and want to run screaming for the hills. doesn't help that ds2 is currently napping in the sling as he's refusing his cot

but then I book in a settling in session for ds1's preschool and I feel a bit hysterical about him growing up and becoming more independent! wah! I'm a total eejit

I think I'm going to go back to work, I can always quit if it gets too much. I remember feeling I didn't want to go back last time but being really glad I did! Also it's way easier to quit if it doesn't feel right than it is to find a well paid professional job two days per week!

Dd is still going to nursery two days (partly to give me a break and partly because it's good for her) and will just do one extra morning when she turns three as it's also a pre-school. So it will just be ds to settle at dd's nursery.

We had a much better sleep last night and I feel like a new person! Only 2 wake ups over 12 hours! Might not sound good to some but for us it's very good! I've been pregnant or breastfeeding (or pregnant and breastfeeding) since nov 2009!!! I'm glad I'm not having a y more and having to go through it all again, although I do feel a little pang as well. Must be mad!

the job sounds perfect, and as you say, better to try it and quit than not try.

I know what you mean about being relieved you're not having any more, but also feeling a pang. I always wanted a big family but realistically I now know I couldn't cope. I know it's a relatively short period of time but the first year or so is just so so hard. and financially it's more sensible!!

hooray for a better night! that really is amazing. ds2 will only sleep for a 10hr period and usually wakes to feed a couple of times. atm he won't settle back though so we're having middle of the night screamathons. argh.

My dp is driving me mad !!!!!

My whole family is driving me nuts. I want a night away at a hotel on my own! What's he doing?

me too! I just want some time with NO PEOPLE!!!!

Yeah, actually change the hotel to a serviced apartment where gourmet meals appear magically, all mess is instantly tidied but, crucially, there are NO PEOPLE within 5 miles.

Hello, may I join this thread?

I have a DS who is almost 2.5 and a DD who is almost 6 months old. I am currently on maternity leave and unfortunately my role has been made redundant, but am looking for a job and will do some freelance consultancy starting this summer.

It is blinking hard this toddler plus newborn thing isn't it? I actually find the weekends harder than the week often. I adore my two but weirdly the days I have both of them are often easier. We have a routine, I don't have to constantly negotiate stuff with/ bicker with DH and the three of us go out and do stuff.

I'm just feeling a bit miserable at the moment. DD is EBF and won't take a bottle and I am exhausted and fed up. I feel like DH and I have no time or energy to pay any attention to each other as the demands of looking after two tiny people are so great and he works long hours. Bless him he does try to help but we are both so tired and grumpy with each other more often than I'd like.

Is this normal?