On becoming Mary Poppins... Toddler and newborn support thread #2

[ThePinkNinja]

A place to continue the complaining conversation about the hair pulling days and sleepless nights fun and frolics of life with a toddler and newborn

Sorry about my shocking use of punctuation in that last post!!

hi life and welcome! you'll be fine. it's bloody tough and some days you'll want to shut the door behind both kids and walk away and leave them to it but you'll be fine. I have 23m age gap and no family support at all. at 14 weeks it is starting to get a bit easier...some days!!

and crazyhorse has the 12 week switch flipped? is everything magically easy? my 12w switch got lost in the post. damn postal system.

Thanks EMS and crazy! Is so good that you guys still can laugh when it is so tough. Ah yes the "switch". Vaguely remember from last time that things got marginally less horrendous at around 3 months! Ho hum! At least I have low low expectations!!

I think hormones/ sleep levels play massive part. I know what u mean crazy about acting like a Cbeebies presenter on speed to pass the time more easily but I just can't sustain those energy levels currently! (Nor can my hip joints with this lovely extra 11kg of pregnancy weight, not to mention my cervix!)

How many people here use dummies??

I'm waiting for the 12 week switch too - I'd love to be able to put DS2 down in the evening instead of doing all the household jobs with him strapped to my chest.

Welcome, Life, blackcurrants, Lisbeth.

DS1 is getting really bored and annoying hanging round while I look after DS2 / do household or basic personal care type stuff. He asks constant questions (mainly 'why') and when we're at home and he's bored it's utterly relentless - usually the same questions over and over again. Drives me completely loopy.

debbie, we don't use a dummy.

We actually do loads of tummy time (I didn't really bother with DS1) but only because I have to put DS2 down to attend to DS1 quite often, so I tend to dump him down on his front. I'm hoping it means I can sling him on my back that bit sooner...

I'm constantly hungry, but DS2 seems to react to most of my quick & easy 'snacky' foods though my milk, which is a right nuisance.

Hi
We are having a bad and good week here.
Bad because we all have a coughing bug.
Good because wonderful au pair arrived.

Tummy time . As i haven't done it I feel guilty as a physio. Right! so what does it do? Largely develop head control. Ds is BF and so has great head control . Guilt over. Come to think about it, I have never seen a healthy adult or child to 'suffer' from poor head control . Do we need to
help baby to develop hc?
Lifeis i was induced at 38+3. In answer to prayer. Good luck. You are doing the right thing . I hope my two will be friends when i am growing weeds .
No dummy here either . Just lots of boob .

we have a dummy in the car seat and pushchair for those 'hold on, love, we are ten minutes from home!' screamy moments. we did the same with DS1 an just whisked it away when his first tooth arrived, so around the 6th month. They recommended them here as a 'you can take a dummy away but not a thumb or finger' thingy. DS1 didn't notice or protest when his disappeared so I am hoping the same will be true with DS 2. DS2 has kidney reflux(grade 5) so needs regular ultrasound things to check his kidney and bladder function, I was glad he took a dummy when they did the first one at 29 hours old!

mainly I think he's going to be like his older brother: boob, boob, some shouting and then more boob please!

he sleeps a lot more than Ds1(who didn't ) and shouts a lot less. we are hippy attachment types(I.e lazy and quite soft!) and so neither was/will be left to scream, but this one is less clingy and less inclined to snack on the boob for hours . He does a mega feed, both sides at least once, and then burps and sleeps for 2 hours. through DS 1 shouting and playing with Loud toys.
I fervently bless the order I had these two though.DS 1 being so hardcore was a baptism of fire, it makes DS 2 seem positively chilled and easy!

DH goes back to work Monday, after being at home since th boxing day birth. My mum is coming for a ten day visit (great news for us all but mainly DS1 who needs a bit of spoiling) and then around Jan 25th I am going to have to face this business like an adult . DS2 will be a month old by then and I am vaguely hoping a bit less of a boob attachment . . . I know I am kidding myself but just let me dream! at least the worst of the lochia/stitches business will be over by then.

Dummy user here. Both DD's have them, although DD1 is limited to car and bed now.

Dummy here too - for going to sleep (not always) and when getting stressed out - usually when tired but if I'm not able to pick him up for whatever reason, i.e dd. I'm not worried at all about using one and even if he becomes very reliant on it and has it for longer than I would have liked, he can give it to the dummy fairy or Father Christmas when he's two. DD had one at a very young age then didn't seem to need it from about 4 mo and ds already uses it a lot more than her, but hey ho - whatever helps!!

Re the 12 week 'switch' - things may be just a fraction easier these days. Ds will sit in a chair for a much better chunk of time these days, goes down at 7pm after a bath and has only been waking once in the night for the last week. Fully aware that this could still all change though - especially now I have jinxed myself by putting it down in black and white!!!

Oh, and I do literally 30 seconds' tummy time before bath time and that's it. Must try and do more.

oh god someone rescue me...having day from hell

crazyhorse well done you on nights! ds2 still up until 9ish every evening which is such a pain.

ds1 still has his dummy but only in bed. ds2 won't take one!

seriously. today can fuck off.

Oh no crazy what's up?
I just got one from preschool, hoping they will both nap!

ok. ds1 asleep in cot, vigorously bouncing an extremely narky ds2 in sling. lisbeth good to hear a physio's take on tummy time but I am starting to wonder when ds2 is going to get the opportunity to learn to roll - he's either in the sling or his bouncy chair if I put him down anywhere else he just screams, and we don't have a baby gym.

made the fatal error of not going out properly this morning. went for walk but we were back by 9am. ds1 had snack then refused to put shoes on to go to library. it's freezing and having just undressed everyone I was disinclined to fight with him, especially cos ds2 was really properly screaming. he's not having a good day today.

so we didn't go out. so ds1 has spent the morning systematically trashing the house while I've been tearing my hair out and trying to placate screamy ds2. and what do we have to look forward to this afternoon? a doctor's appointment where she's going to get on my case again about ds2's weight gain. I can't force-feed a refusing baby ffs!!

gaaah sorry will go and eat chocolate to calm down

Crazy........ sounds like its TGIF for you today. Lily's had her 8wk jabs today she's closer to 10 but couldn't get in over Xmas anyway she's not taken to them fantastic think im in for an evening of it :-(

Oh and I buckled last night and gave her a dummy last night. She needs to feed/suckle of me to go to sleep but she really suffers with wind do I wind her which wakes her up then she needs to suckle again and round and round we go. I was losing my cool last night after wks of being trapped in her room for 3/4 hours just for her to wake 20 mins later and the whole things starts again. ( how did I get in this mess ) anyway I gave her a dummy and off she went for 7 hours. I hate them DS never had 1 but I don't remember him being so relentless to get down.
I don't know wether to keep using them or not. I feel like I'm being lazy even tho that's what their there for.
Il see how the wkend goes.

DH and I are expats, we live in the USA . we were both reflexively anti-dummy but pediatricians recommend them here, they think sucking reduces the chance of SIDS. and I know of only one playmate of my two and half year old who still uses one. using one now does not mean you'll be prising it from your five year old's hands if you keep an eye on it.

Christ I am so tired. DS 2 breastfed from 8:30am to 12:30pm, with the odd 5-10 minutes in the bouncy chair or with DH holding him. he then slept for an hour,, waking just as I drifted off myself
now he is feeding again. at least we're snuggled up in bed, am tryin to doze.

I think dummies are great. Ds2 usually loses his quickly but he is soothed
I don't even remember weaning ds1off his.

Excuse the terrible writing, doing it while juggling a baby is quite I skill !

Just a quick post as I'm knackered after a long day -- took DS into central London for the first time today. First ride on the Tube went well, though he had a meltdown for the last 20 mins on the way home. Luckily, the train was not very crowded and the other passengers mostly just smiled when I apologised for the noise.

I will also say: OMG, going out with one child is SO EASY!

Re: dummies, we're considering introducing one. DS seems to want to suck for comfort and is sucking on his hands and sleeves right now. We're wondering if it would help him settle more easily in the evenings, too. DD had one from very early on. Still uses it at nap and bed time, but I do want to wean her off it soon (she's 21m now).

Those who have weaned off dummies, how did you do it?

Haven't introduced bottles yet, either, but may do so in the next few weeks so I can start going to the gym again and getting out a bit more on my own. However, part of me thinks that since we've managed ten weeks without, maybe I should try to keep going until DS can start on a sippy cup ... don't know. I've heard it can be done. Just don't know if I can wait 2-3 more months to get out on my own again.

Also, is anyone attempting to start potty training DC1 in the near future? I think DD is ready -- shows a lot of interest in the subject, LOL, but I haven't done much reading up on the how-tos yet and don't want to start until I'm sure I can carry through with it. Not sure if right now is the best time with a tiny baby needing lots of attention. Or maybe that's a reason why it could be.

Hmmm, not such a short post after all. Good night and hope you all sleep well!

Potty training ds is kind of close he's 2.4 years I think we could deal with the poohs now wees in a month or 2. I'm not sure I can be ready quick enough for him right now. U really do need to act quick to limit accidents which disheartens them. I'm not sure with a new born I can be quick. Im thinking 1st signs of better weather. Less clothes to remove and just a more upbeat mummy. Also not read up on it. I spend to much time on here :-)

everso, we went for full potty training a fortnight ago (DS1 is just turned 3). But we have been pottying him since he was 8 months old and he's been out of nappies at home since 18 months so it wasn't a big deal - we'd just kept on with nappies when out and about because it was so much easier than constantly having to find toilets.

We didn't plan to train him when DS2 was so little, but he had a thrush infection in his groin and I didn't want a wet nappy to make it worse.

I have to say it's been a real nuisance. Because he's used to being nappy free it's been a doddle because he can hold on and tell me when he needs to go, but it makes going out & about a lot harder. e.g. a 2.5 hour shopping trip earlier this week involved 2 bfs and 2 nappy changes for DS2 and 3 wee stops for DS1. Given that each one required finding a shop with suitable facilities, we didn't get much shopping done.

Yesterday DS1 needed to poo in the street nowhere near a toilet, so I had to get out his potette (portable potty/toilet seat) and spread a nappy on the ground on top of our change mat, sit him on it in the freezing cold and get him to poo onto it. It was a bit tricky to do without waking up DS2 who was asleep in the sling.

On travelling, I've found central London with two children much easier than with one - people seem to fall over themselves to help carry the pushchair up and down stairs and on/off Tube trains (though it helps that DS1 is old enough to walk and DS2 is on the sling).

Wow Angel kudos to you for the calm and togetherness of your action plan for DS needing a poo in the street! Don't think I would've been so cool and calm.

My 2.5 DS is not quite ready for potty-training yet though I'm sure it's not far away but will put it off for as long as poss as DC2 due soon, and I've heard you hav to be super-quick to react which I won't be with a newborn. Mind you the impending production line of nappy changes doesn't look that attractive either!

We used a dummy with DS1 when he was little (2m ish) and I don't remember much of a problem stopping it later.

crazypaving hope ur having a better day - being stuck indoors with two is horrible when they are like that!