Fantastic 40+ Mums

[Hpbp]

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

Raspberries lord my spelling is shocking.

51 and with twins holy crap bathan! !!
I can't even imagine the exhaustion. I am a twin. My mum said she was like a machine cleaning feeding. Lucky I was the good twin. I loved sleep and she had to wake me to feed. I loved my toes and played quietly for ages. My brother was the devil and was high maintenance. Dad did feck all 50s man women place is in the home shit

My God it is windy today.
I have dp blowing off next to me. Baby m blowing off and windy as hell outside.
I am starving would love a massive plate of waffles. Sorry VQ a bowl of porridge with fruit

bytheseaside haven't worn that badly but if she thought I was 30 she needs new glasses it would be a miracle...

littleredmonkey probably the shock at someone who was as antique as me actually getting some loving!

My Dad set the (50s type) tone by being in the pub when I was born, then registering me with the wrong name because he was still squiffy. He did nothing when I was a child! DH been warned is no longer the 1950s

goat 51 WITH TWINS!!!! Blimey. That would be a shock to the system....maybe am not so crumbly after all! The raspberries sound lovely!

LRM not starting until Monday.

DS slept for 5 consecutive hours last night. I do hope this is him turning a corner.

Baby monkey did the same last night as well! ! Viva 5 hour sleep this evening VQ.

We have a bit of sleep regression here... Not more than three hours at a stretch last night. But DH took BG at 6:15 this morning and I slept until 10! It was delicious... I didn't recognise my brain after that. It actually worked a bit.

Talking of dads, mine rang the eagerly waiting family at home and said in broken tones, "It's not a boy." I was the third girl... Still, I found out at his funeral just how proud he was of me when loads of random people seemed to know my life history!

Top marks for daddy Goat for helping. Working brain is fab better then putting margarine in tub in the microwave and whole toilet roll in the loo brain. Anyone else want to share silly things u have done or said while sleep deprived.

Hello and belated happy christmas to you all!

37+1 now, glad to be finished with work but getting increasingly spherical and irritable! DP has moved all his crap possessions into the house and I feel tempted to put it all in a bin bag and drive it down the tip when he's not looking (bit unfair of me really, but am a bit obsessed with chucking everything into binbags at the moment).

So am beginning to shit myself over the whole impending baby arrival thing - I think the to-do lists, babygro mountains, hospital bag items etc are doing my head in a bit and I probably just need the baby to come out now. It feels a bit like a last-minute stage fright, although having said that I am beyond excited at the prospect of meeting Baby Eagle.

Am not in any great discomfort apart from BH if I try to be too energetic, and a terrible pain/cracking in the pubic bone area when I turn over at night. Been pretty lucky really with health up until now.

Looking forward to joining you all soon for sleep deprivation lunacy - it's so nice to read of the times when you manage to get enough sleep to restore some sanity.

LRM - you sound just like me as a baby - apparently I slept all the time and played with my toes. Baby Eagle did nothing but play with toes and yawn on the 4d scan so one lives in hope....

eagleray you will be fine! you sound very well prepared, glad to hear your dp is getting warm welcome :)

lrm taking baby into town without nappy on remains my stupidest sleep-deprivation related moment... more minor idiocies are oh so frequent though. accidentally shoplifted a packet of razors from superdrug. i went.back to the shop and paid, they hadn't.noticed luckily ... put clothes on inside out and gone outa too many times to mention

baby seaside has been howling with pain from colic/reflux last few nights again. i can't bear to hear her, makes me feel so powerless and useless. she's now sleeping in my arms after a mammoth feed, i don't dare shuffle down the bed to sleep myself in case the crying starts up again ... on a more positive note, she is smiling and chatting loads in the day, she's just so gorgeous

eagleray the last few weeks must be like the night before a long haul flight - you just want to be on the plane! You sound very prepared... Or as much as you can be before one's life is turned upside down! Looking forward to meeting your LO vicariously!
Hmm, can't think of specific baby brain lunacies at the moment, though there have been many. Posted before about my best pregger brain moment, when I got to the front door dressed in all my work gear, boots and coat on... Then realised I still had a wet towel round my head!

I've just joined weight watchers. Don't like the fat bird in the mirror. Can't handle being both old an fat!

Eagle so close now. Can't wait to have you here.

Will catch up properly later ladies. Big waves.

Well done on the WW Midget - I will be doing similar v soon as fear I have put on about 3st but will have 5 to lose...

Am about to embark on cooking/entertaining visitors for 3rd day in a row - am actually cream crackered now - this is the tiredest I have been since I got pregnant. And later on I shall be doing batch cooking, hospital bag packing (erm bit late with that one) and some hypnobirth practice.

I don't have any baby brain/sleep deprivation stories (yet!) but can tell you that DP set the microwave on fire last week by putting a naan bread in a metallic bag in there. Easily done, but he is an Oxbridge-educated scientist who works with combustible materials every day Hope it reassures you all to know that there are people out there doing this sort of stuff without even having a baby to look after...

Hello ladies! A belated Merry Christmas to all. About to try & catch up & have a good read. Hoping that post Christmas I'm going to find the time to be on the thread more. Things are mostly fine with Baby Fjord; great nights with largely sleepless days though hence why I've been finding it hard to get MN time. Hoping that will change with my new 'naps plan' for NY . We'll see... Right! Off to read your posts :-)

Sorry to hear of all the pre-Christmas sickness. Hope you're all feeling much better.

Welcome knotty & congrats with baby Rosa! :-) weirdly enough, I also delivered baby Fjord by c-section at 10.32am exactly!! I found breast feeding very hard to establish & to this day DD has a mixture of breast & formula. Sounds like you're doing great!

LRM - we're on 5 feeds a day - based on every 3 hours (but sometimes more or less; I'm flexible if she's hungry early or asleep. That's combination feeds. About 40 mins on the boob 'cos she's a slow eater with the breastshield & my let down is usually quite slow then a 150ml bottle which takes about 5 or so mins with the breast-simulator teat. We feed just before bed but not at night (her choice). She then sleeps 10hrs straight through.
Baby Fjord has also started enjoying the harp music on Ewan so much that she riverdances & grins her face off. Have had to switch to Ewan's other front foot to settle her, which is getting her better at settling again.

Midge - v ??at Seussical. You are a legend in your own party giving. I only hope I find the energy for all that when Baby Fjord is a little older with a possible baby fjord #2 gloating around. Strangely they're not very into children's parties here in Norway. Tend just to have the family round for tea cake & presents. It's just us expats going nuts with theme cakes, hiring out soft play, clowns, face-painters etc...

VQ - sounds like you've been having a busy stressful time. I am going to join your wobbly tummy thread. I look still pregnant :-/.

eagleray - won't be long! So exciting! Make the most of pleasing yourself for now!

Fjord. Hey honey good to see ya. Now u must share with me your day nap plan as baby monkey is a monkey at day naps. Soooo jealous of 10 hrs straight. Max is five hours. When did she start the ten hour sessions?

I am really pissed with myself this evening after going on my scales I have put on 5 STONES. Holy crap fatman. It's going to take some work to shift this. There are going to be tears! !!

fjord sounds like you need a mission to convert the Norwegians to kids' parties, they are missing out on so much fun!!
I too am jealous of the 10 hours! How do you do it? We mix fed for a while are now just ff but still six hours is the (rare) longest stretch. BG can't really stomach more than 150 ml at a time which doesn't help.
lrm I have 2 1/2 stone to lose. Last time I lost it by the simple method of starvation (I was young and stupid) so may be harder this time.
midget we ain't old just had lots of time to get interesting.

I wonder sometimes the length of sleep v food intake. Baby m does not have a big appetite. He has 2 oz formula at 5. Boobs at 7 but does not feed for more then 15 mins. Is woken by dp at 10:30 has expressed milk has anywhere from 1 oz to 4oz. Always prepare four very rare he has it. Sleeps 4-5 hours then boob then sleeps unsettled two hours.
What times do u put your little ones for naps! Any tips please as I think my sleeping on me has not been a good thing as basket is the fire pits of hell for him in the day. He will sleep in his swing at lunch time but takes ages to settle. Next nap is five after bottle again ages to settle. Night time is so easy I feed he sleeps bingo day time I feed he is wired so no sleep leave him to long mardy baby. Help ladies keep thinking I am not getting this day nap right. I could put him in his basket but he screams like mad. All ideas welcome
Ps bythesea. Bloody pissed myself at your story of stealing from superdrug. Did ya use baby pram as cover ha ha. Brillant.
Goat. Loved it u nearly fashioned a new look of towel attire haha.
Keep em coming
Dp bless changed baby m for bed after ten mins mega plane play lots of chat nappy changing singing so I have the most wired baby on the planet. It is going to take ages and ages to get him to sleep naughty daddy good intention but naughty

lrm we happened to see a little animation on cbeebies about a warthog that finds the coffee beans and overindulges. He then goes mad and torments a poor lion. It was rather reminiscent of a wired BG.
Naps are entirely dictated by BG as he goes absolutely bonkers if he is overtired. On the whole has a little one mid morning and long one early afternoon. Recently the morning one has been longer plus has started a power nap at about five. Mummy is not happy as he then does not sleep after the 5am feed. But can't keep him awake without him screaming the house down. Maybe is because he seems to be in a developmental spurt - must be knackering.

LRM - bad DP! Mine is guilty of over-stimulating/not putting her down too. Drives me bonkers! All that good work...!

My 'day nap plan' is just a plan so far. I'm yet to try it out as we're not at home. However, I've been wracking my brains what to do as she wants to sleep around every feeding time & can't seem to get to sleep in the day other than on the breast (sometimes when being bounced in the bouncy chair but usually only for half an hour).

Someone reminded me that she does fall asleep in the car or the pram and actually often stays asleep well when brought back in the house. So…I figure I need to get her out for a walk/car ride just before each of 2 day naps I want her to have then, hopefully, she'll stay asleep, I can wake her at feeding time, and she'll get used to the pattern.

Long-winded explanation As for the 10 hours, I have no idea how we did it either! She started sleeping a regular 5/6 hour stretch at 5/6 weeks then it gradually got longer. We'd been in hospital with weight/feeding issues & the paediatrician said feed every 3 hrs but that we could miss one at night if she wanted to sleep through. She did so was doing 6 hrs & I was setting the alarm for her feed. She starting not wanting to wake up for it & one time the alarm didn't go off & she didn't wake or cry in 8 hours. I asked the health sister if we could let her sleep longer & she said as long as she got enough milk per day she could sleep as long as she wanted. So, we divided her amount per day across 6 feeds & tried that out. She kept napping through one feed altogether so we upped the amount a little & reduced to 5 feeds with option of one dream breastfeed. She started to be grumpy when I'd wake her in the morning so we let her lead how long she wanted to sleep which turned out to be 10 hours. She has her whole daily quotient during the day so doesn't wake hungry in the night. Caveat: we mixed feed. I don't think this would work with exclusive bf. it does seem to be mixed/ff babies that can go longer stretches of night. However - I also think this long sleeping is a bit genetic. DP & all his brothers did apparently. I feel very lucky but I've had it hard lots of other ways & the 1st 6 weeks was nightmarish.

I worry about the naps 'cos I read they should have 14hrs sleep a day minimum at this age & she's only getting 10 + the odd random cat nap. Also it's hard to get anything done. Had been meaning to take daily pram walks but there's been thick ice on my street since mid December - not safe for me or pram.

Goatbongos - damn right about the children's parties! Not going to do without those!

Bytheseaside, sorry baby seaside is suffering, and it is so horrible to hear them cry like that! Rosa has been pretty good but we did have a random evening a couple of nights ago when she just wouldn't settle and was very upset, but was continually trumping very loudly and seems OK now. Mind you, last night she projectile vomited over DP's bed (from the Moses basket - what an aim!) which woke him with a start! Baby seaside's smiles and chatter sound lovely though . Midget, well done on WW! I can't wait to start working out again, my Jillian Michaels DVDs are staring at me, but I've got to wait a few more weeks yet. Eagle, looking forward to hearing about your LO. When is your due date again? And at your DP! Fjord, how weird, our babies sharing a time of birth! And well done on persevering with the BF, you're a better woman than I am. LRM, I'm putting off weighing myself until I can start exercising properly again. I'm trying to be sensible with food but it's hard with Christmas stuff hanging around the house must stop snaffling Roses. As for daytime naps, Rosa wakes about 6.30-7am, has a feed, and is ready to go back down at 8-8.30, until about 10, another feed, goes back down about 11.15 until 2, another feed, then naps 3.15ish to 5pm. Split feed at 5ish and then a bath, rest of feed after bath, then back to sleep about 6.15. She is FF though, as Fjord said, I think they can go a bit longer between feeds.

Had our maiden voyage to Waitrose with the pushchair yesterday and I think I managed without clipping the back of anyone's ankles. Can't believe she's 2 weeks old today, it's already flying by. She's regained her birth weight now, after going down from 8lb 1oz to 7lb 5oz - little chubber!

Lovely to have you back Fjord. I feel a bit about Midges sleeping he sleeps anywhere. He takes after his mum. Can sleep for 10 at night with one feed and will nap for ages in the day (about 3 naps, 2 minimum and some for 2 hours). If I get him down in time he will self settle. And I have finally got a Ewan after hearing how much you all love him. I love him too . Only thing i need to really work on is bed time, not bailed the best time to put him down and over Christmas it has got really late to fit in with my boozing .

Weighed myself. 2 stone to loose

Hello Ladies, hope every one recovered from Xmas feast. Welcome back, Fjord, glad to hear you are doing well. And congrats on keeping on BF despite difficulties, it is good to do combination feeding, at least you can have some rest. Knotty, 2 weeks and Rosa sleeps through, waouh, you make us envious. VQ, Midget, thinking of you on weight loss plan, I am too lazy to think about exercise, will join the gym only if it offers swimming with babies, in that case, I can take Anastasia for these lessons, leave her for 30/45 min at the creche to swim a bit myself, not doing anything on the abs though, pelvic floor too weak, no way I risk prolapse to get a beautiful belly ! Mind you, I am quite blessed as lost most of pg weight, only 3 kg left if I want to get back to weight before 1st pg. Midget, you are not fat, you did not look at all fat 2 weeks ago, unless you stuffed yourself at xmas ?! LRM, really love the look of baby M, he looks very cheeky. Goat you win the second prize re baby brain, AFM Seaside and the outing with no nappy on is the best of all !!! It really made me pee on myself...
Seaside, Anastasia is on 4 or 5 feeds a day and I put her down for a nap every 1h30, 2h max, she would sleep 45 min in the morning, 1.30 at lunch and another 45 min around 4.30pm then 7pm for the night. Tired or not, I put her and leave her in her cot and she can play before falling asleep by herself. 22 weeks, not rolling over yet but trying very hard, smiling and laughing out loud, chatting a lot, grasping toys, no tooth, 65cm, I will weigh her on Wed, I expect her to be around 7.5kg.
It is my birthday tomorrow ! Baking this afternoon with DS and inviting 2 other mums, so 6 kids between 5months and 7yo and 6 adults tomorrow for tea ! I can't entertain more than that.
Have a wonderful celebration tonight every one.

Just to be clear blueblack, Rosa also wakes at 10pm-ish for a feed, and again at around 2am, and sometimes has a small feed about 5.30am before dropping off again. My post meant to just mention the daytime naps in response to LRM's question, but I got carried away ! Hope you have a wonderful birthday tomorrow!

knotty I am glad you added that. I was about to shoot myself

J is nearly 10 weeks and 4 to 5 hours is as good as it gets, and not consistent. I am tired. Have considered mixed feeding to get some rest, but just cannot allow myself. Besides he has yet to have a bottle so would probably reject one now. He seems almost well now though, for which I am grateful. Clearly man-flu affects baby boys too.