Fantastic 40+ Mums

[Hpbp]

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

Hey thanks for supporting me sorry to moan but I think it's health to vent and bbb you are right I do fancy some idle time and sleep. I am not bothered to much on going out like being at home with him but it can be 24 hours then again and again Baby monkey must have heard my plea and slept for 4,5 hours I woke at three hours and checked him after a massive farting spree. I think he blow himself back to sleep.
Midget. Glad u r on the mend and bravo on operation sling. Dont worry u r far from dim I was shite at school.
Bbh your words hit a note this evening I have never been close to my mum but so different I have this little fella.
Goat cant believe baby goat is 19 weeks already. Baby monkey is 8 today.

Appreciate all your kind words this evening ladies. You are all fabulous friends. Wish u fab sleep for baby and u.
Ps I want fudge now !'!'!'!

Sorry, I seem to have inadvertently tortured everyone with my mention of fudge!
midget glad things are (hopefully) on the mend. I hope that makes things easier all round!
BG went to baby massage today and had an absolute ball. It was back, arms and face, and he loved it all, especially the face, which he giggled ecstatically through. Then promptly fell into a deep, deep sleep for the rest of the afternoon,from which I could not awaken him (BG does determined very well when he wants to). So guess what?! Been awake most of the night. I knew I had jinxed it...
I manage to do my Christmas shopping for NZ so my friend is coming to pick the stuff up today. She will of course have to wrap it for me. NZ customs is pretty draconian! It's good to have that side of the world taken care of.
I shall write you a little bio soon. I am pretty boring though...

Bio of ewan the sheep told by baby monkey ; arrived in a box by man at the door. Lots of noise from mummy and then a word she should use around me. A fluffy blob was presented to me. Large white eyes and red belly. Oh what a noise he made thump thump thump thump then swish swish swish. Mummy was oh ah. When I am going to bed Mr fluffy is red and in my bed mummy rubs his legs then he starts his story I never get to the end I usually fall asleep. Except the time Mr fluffy did not go red and mummy made lots of noise and looked in Mr fluffy belly took stuff out and put stuff in. Mummy loves Mr fluffy.

lrm
I definitely can't compete in the interesting bio stakes now!

Bio of baby monkey by ewan. Good lord what is that loud screaming this was not in my job description when I left the factory. They said work with little people sleeping. He is little but loud. Well off to work. Holy crap he goes on and on and on but I do my best work and he drops off to sleep. Though I wish the lady would leave. My ears alone. I live in a big bed with baby monkey who is my best friend. I speak four languages one is swish then thump then thud and melody. My legs r purple and so is my head. Mummy loves me especially when I do my best work.

Ps. Baby monkey farts too much!

I think I may have drunk to much lucazade this morning. Baby monkey was good last night got 4,5 hrs then 3 then 1. Sleep which was his best yet. I do have to follow him to bed early as that is his best sleep slot starting at 7:30. now on me having a snooze

LRM, good idea, 7.30pm is a good time, I think I recover best when I sleep before 11pm. In the meantime, nap, nap and nap ! I will do the same...

Am still here. Both girls poorley now. Tired. Pissed off with not-so-DH.

LRM

vq :(

goat ah baby goat! We are going to do massage too

midget good news!

Bbd Re going to bed, im wasting baby seaside prime evening sleep time, but otherwise i wouldn't get to have dinner, do laundry and all the stuff I've been waiting for dp to get home so i can do . ah well

Baby all out of sorts today in delayed response to jabs. new very pathetic cry that breaks my heart ...

VQ sorry to hear your girls r unwell. Speedy recovery to them both. Feel for u with dh. Have u spoke to him and tell him how u feel. U have friends here any time xx

vq sorry to hear about DH. Hope is getting sorted. Newborn time is fraught.

seaside hope baby s is feeling better. It doesn't last, promise!

Ok, bio time. I should be used to writing these but they are usually po-faced ones for concert programmes, not interesting ones,so feel free to fall asleep halfway through (not difficult for any of us at any given time anyway!).
Born is Oz but brought up in NZ. Came to UK after university. Worked as freelance musician (pianist). Have always lived in London here. About ten years ago got really tired of all the schlepping around one needs to do to earn a living as a pianist, plus was teaching in a truly horrible school, so jacked lots of it in and went and did a PhD. Now teach in university and only play if I am interested in the project. So no more ballet classes or histrionic sopranos. I love my job. Haven't played much for the past year thanks to carpal tunnel syndrome during pregnancy. I am hoping BG lets me get back to it soon - he gave me 25 minutes yesterday. Met my DH on a plane to Peru, where we walked the Inca Trail together. That was three years ago. We got married in Feb after dh left his home, job and friends to move in with me. After bg's arrival he says the only life change he has left is a sex change operation. I've requested not. who says holiday romances don't last?

Goat, what a lovely love story ! So romantic ! I met DH at work, so common....

VQ, sorry to hear that, hope the girls will recover soon. re DH I find it hard sometimes too communicatiing with him, actually I moan and he does not react at all, I ask him to do things and he does not do what I want, then protests that I have not been accurate enough, but when I explain what I want, he says he is not stupid and I don't need to give him orders... My recent visits to the shrink were partly because of him. Come and moan if it can help.

Seaside, I don't think I have had a proper civilized dinner for the past 4 months, I usually swallow my tea around 5.30 because Anastasia feeds at 6/6.30 and after I spend a bit of time with DS so I would not eat before 8/8.30pm, I would be starving bya then. I take care of laundry in the morning, program the machine the night before to finish at 10am, so that I can put cloth to dry during Anastasia's morning nap. As you said, well, this is life. I hope I will be able to keep my cleaner, she irons as well, otherwise I and the kids would look like boat people ! I hate wearing not ironed cloth, tbh, I do not buy anything that needs ironing anymore.

Anastasia had her jabs, she seems fine, 64cm and 6.535kg, all good. I love her fat, fat, fat feet ! Hair dye tomorrow morning !

Hope you have good night sleep, babies and Mums. Xxxxx

bbd I have built a shrine to my cleaner! I would be lost in a dust mountain without her.

Goat. That was lovely. How very romantic honey Peru how exciting . So impressive playing piano u lot r very talented bunch. And extremely intelligent. Degrees and languages. I can barely manage English. I can sew and create soft toys. Mind blowing I know ha ha oh and I make a beautiful baby if I do say so myself.

Bbh operation hair colour. Look forward to hearing how it looks. I managed like by the sea to wash mine today amazing no time to straighten it. I have been a bit of a witch to dp last few days just so tired got extra crabby. So will walk around with my witch hat on. He is very helpful and I moan sometimes. I will try to do better and be less fussy about silly things like cleaning thr house

I always post from my phone so operation memory.

VQ Sorry DH is being a nobber. I hate giving them the D when they are being idiots.

Lovely story of the Peru romance and the talent. I also was like BHB and met my DH at work. A little romantic but very ordinary. I can only make gorgeous babies and I do that quite badly, and I mix a mean cocktail.

FF hope your brother is a bit better. I best go and feed midge, poor boy been dragged about today and is tired and hungry and still has a cold. I am getting out a lot now, maternity leave is like having long weekends. Except with baby vomit all over me

Midget I am trying to get every day mainly to my local shop and bakery where all the ladies love my little guy and I love their flap jacks.
Goat meet my other half pissed in a pub rambling on to his brother how they dont look anything a like blah blah it he said we have different dads. I am a tit. Dont drink any more! Got together next weekend again a tad pissed but been together 22 years. He is my world love him to bits. Now also have a mini version.
Ladies I pm fjord and she is well had loads on and I told her we missed her and she is keeping up to date with us and will post soon so that's great to hear she n baby are well

Ff hows your brother doing honey?

Midget. Hope little midget is ok and speedy recovery from his cold x

Hi everyone and thanks for the jolt LRM

I'm nodding off at my desk but determined to at least say hi and get back on the thread.

Where to start? It's been a ride so far but is hopefully starting to settle down now. I've had masses of feeding problems. To not go into too much detail, largely because I have huge boobs, apparently almost non-existent nipples and huge aereola. As a result DD can only feed with the help of a breast shield. After 2 hospital admissions for the pair of us after she was found to be losing weight, despite me having her on the breast almost non-stop all day and most of the night, the upshot is:-

1. Breastshield is covering up a lot of the milk glands on the aereola
2. DD has to work harder in the time and gets less milk. However, she can't even recognise anything to suck on without the shield so we are stuck with it.
3. DD falls asleep on the breast frequently and is hard to rouse
4. As a result of her taking less than it seemed, my production has not kept up with her needs.
5. Although I am pumping, I decided against doing so with my every other available minute so will probably never catch up with her needs hence...
6. 'Mixed feeding' - about half/half breast milk/formula at the mo but I hope to tip the balance a bit in favour of breast milk. Have come to terms I won't be able to return to EBF now. We use Medela Calma bottles though and DD has no nipple confusion. And she still prefers the nipple which is nice.
7. Paediatrician wanted me to weigh, stick to only 10 minutes each side, weigh again then make up the rest with formula but I very often exceed this a lot as I have more milk and DD wants to stay on longer. I know I would have more life if I did what he says but I have a sneaking feeling my breastfeeding days would be short-lived.

Why am I telling you all this? Well we've been so bloody focused on setting up the feeding (and in and out of hospital) I've done little else, especially since we came out of hospital. We have started to manage trips out and have been going to a baby massage class and doing a bit of shopping. Also my DP has been in hospital with a recurrence of a problem he had last year, which required a small op so life has been rather busy. We've always had to take DP to and from work in the car from day one and pop into shops at least. Tomorrow I'm meeting with all my lovely ante-natal class friends and their babies after baby massage. Some serious expressing and feed planning will need to be involved as we can't really breastfeed out (logistically). Looking forward to it a lot though :).

Despite all the problems, DD is now 8 weeks and (mostly) a delight. She is smiling and 'laughing' all the time; discovering and developing at a rapid rate. She sleeps 2am - 9am straight through and on and off/inconsistently between 7.30pm and 2am, broken up by 2 feeds. She self settles after her last feed, in her basket, with the help of the magic Ewan :) and his lovely harp (same every night - like a 'sleep signal') and although she still does suffer with wind, the long screaming sessions seem to be becoming a thing of the past. We use infacol and now also malt extract (in her bottle) every feed to good effect.

I manage a shower roughly every other day and feel quite scuzzy and I haven't even got around to booking my 6 week checks yet (bad me - need a repeat GT test too which I'm dreading - getting very drowsy after sweet stuff and terrified I'm stuck with the dreaded diabetes, despite my sugars in the first couple of weeks being 'back to normal'). Trying to slowly mould a bit of a routine and claim back time from 'velcro-baby' now she is better at napping alone and sitting in her baby bjorn bouncer.

Right, that's my news - now I'm going to catch up with all your posts during the next feed (if DD wakes up - she's not good at waking up to feed. Sometimes I think I should just express instead as she takes the bottle easier when drowsy and she'd get more breast milk? We'll see...) and see if I can comment while they're still all in my head!

Missed you all and do want to make a big effort not to be MIA :) (still haven't had a post-natal . Perhaps I should express more?).

Gosh! So much going on & to comment on.

Good news VQ. I haven't gone back that far in the thread but seems you've been having weight problems too? My DD has only just reached 10lb 4 or 5 (4.6kg) at 8 else old. She seems to be following the 29th percentile. I'm not worrying now as she is chubby enough & the health station say she's fine. I think you are amazing btw...juggling 3 DCs. I had my 2 DSDs here today & let's say I'm relieved they're 11 & 13 and not my direct responsibility!

FF sorry to hear about your brother. Hope he is on the road to recovery.

LRM - another Ewan fan! He's been miraculous for baby Fjord. I'm an evangelical fan. We've also got DD in sleeping bags now. We're using Baby Boum ones for 0-3 months. They're not so long and have long sleeves. Glad to hear that Mr Monkey is so good. Mr Fjord had a slow start but is very good now as I needed so much help 'cos of v painful CS scar. When he's been off work after his op I barely get a look in with the baby except to feed her! He does ALL nappy duty when he's here . He does get very short of patience when she cries though & objects to doing anything for her that is 'boring' (like 'walk-bouncing' her around the flat to calm her down). I must say though, the more he falls in love with her, the better he's getting. I think it takes men a lot more time to 'bond'. Loving the bios . Had no idea you were a Kiwi. So interesting to hear everyone's stories.

Midget - sorry to hear about DS's cold & your prolapse. I seem to remember you mentioning Baby Whisperer. How's that going for you? Baby Fjord seems to be falling into E.A.S.Y all on her own (except the dream feed - she tries to do that during the day :-/).

BBD - good luck with the move back to London. Loved reading your bio as well . I also get super thirsty when breastfeeding. And very hungry. I'm on 4 meals a day so no chance of losing the baby weight any time soon.

bytheseaside - ooh is that the Killing season 3? It's aired already over here but I was waiting to find out when it had aired in UK so I can find it with English subtitles! Glad you're getting out & about. I'm quite envious of you being able to breastfeed in public. It's rather logistically impossible for us.

Goatsbongos white chocolate & Bailey's fudge... OMG...

Oh and what is BJCM GT?

Right pumping duty requires both hands. It's nice to be back .

8 weeks not 8 'else' old. Another victim of iPhone autocorrect. Doh!

Hello fjord what epic posts! Lovely to see you. Sorry to hear about all the angst round feeding. Sounds very similar to what we had,but you are doing so much better than we did - congratulations! this feeding malarkey is so complicated... Still, Kid is now growing apace,in fact everyone has been a bit at how much he has sprouted in just the last week. At this rate all the beautiful clothes we inherited off DH's cousin will fit him for about two minutes. He is a very long baby, particularly in the legs.
Also congrats on getting to the shower every second day - we are finally there now, at 19 weeks!
Oh, it is amazing how widespread the Ewan invasion is. I have not used him for a while, I must do so again, especially as I am going to try and get BG off our bed and into his own cot. I will let him recover from his cold though. The poor thing can hardly breathe, especially lying down and wakes himself up almost hysterical with gasping and flailing. It's horrible to watch, and I am convinced that in part it is made worse because he is reminded of not being able to breathe with the pneumothorax he had after birth - who knows how their little memories work?
The fudge has not yet materialised, but DH went and bought the ingredients for me and is watching developments with a hopeful puppy-dog expression...

Welcome back fj. Glad to see u. Sorry to hear the time u have had but sounds like u have a firm grip on things. Our little fella r the same ages. So looking forward to seeing how tubby baby fj gets. I can so relate to Velcro baby. Just this w
Week started a nap plan baby monkey is not keen on the plan especially if I leave themnap too long. Oh he did scream for a minute folded and picked him up gave cuddle till calm and did it again the process took longer then the nap. Will keep chipping away.
Damn bloody nappies tonite twice they have leaked waking him. Dont leak on the day.
Oh forgot to say double excitement today washed hair and painted nail! !!

Lordy my grammar and spelling is appalling today.

Ooh lrm what colour are your nails?

I have booked a loooong pamper session for myself this weekend. Have told DH he gets BG and I am going to do nails/hair/legs (these last two are almost the same come to think of it) and remain in the shower until wrinkly. Am looking forward to it SO MUCH.