Fantastic 40+ Mums

[Hpbp]

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

Well I can gt into those pre-pregnancy jeans! If I hold my breath, suck in my stomach, hop madly around the room while doing up the zip, then do not ever sit down/walk/turn around for fear of being cut in half...
lrm good luck with hv, do you have a nice one? I have a lovely one, bar the fact that she was worse than useless about feeding a prem
eagleray lovely to see you again, not long to go now, yes? It would be great to meet your bump!
midget how are you feeling now? Are you getting some sleep?
hpbp no user guide for baby, but I was thinking it wiould be much more helpful if they cam with little signs theybcouldnhold up at appropriate moments - 'i am cold' 'I am hungry' 'the light is too bright' 'I just feel like being grumpy'
seaside no relation between moving and premness, I think - think of it as making sure that baby had a lovely new home to come back to

hpbp the Spanish have a saying that when babies are little, they are so sweet you wish you could eat them. Then they get bigger and you wish you had...
I was a drama queen child, hope Babygoat has not inherited this!!

Midget. Hope physio appointment goes well. Hope u feel better soon.
You need to treat yourself to something on the way home. Drive thru and a mcflurry
Goat. Soooo jealous of u getting back into pre Presto gear. I was a bit to stressy when I was carbs found me and went from a size 12 jean to a 20. Ahhhhhhh. My own fault but to be fair to myself I was putting in 10 hours plus extreme weight training and cardio all I ate was meat and veg. I was getting pissed off with the diet but loved the work out. I was big before lost nearly 5 stone so I could it again but won't have time to train the same for a while yet. Need sleep first and be able to let little guy amuse himself in a chair for more then two mins. I am disappointed I let myself go. But it is what it is.
New flash ladies. ,,,,,,, I actually had time to paint my nails. Yes u heard correctly. Wonders will never cease
Do the rest of u go to bed early in the evenings @ 7ish. I give baby to dp and get a couple of hours. Miss dp and our gossip time but need some zzzzz. /
Goat. Health visitor is nice except when she first come she had a wicked cold I blame her for ours. I have banned any one else who has one. Dp dad had one last week banned him. We went to see them on Sunday and he was still coughing. Dp let him hold baby monkey and he coughed putting his hand up but then putting his finger in baby's mouth as he needed feeding. He was a bit shocked I said u just coughed into that hand now it's in his mouth. Hello! !!! Fuck me plus he has had the shits for two weeks. Mean mummy. But good lord
Goat. Love the idea of baby signs. I have not got a clue what he wants sometimes. I would laugh at the one saying. I have shit my pants and yes just u wait till u take off my nappy it is a car crash in there. Oh and by the way I will attempt to piss on u myself and the wall when u let your guard down. Haha. Love baby monkey

Vq. Tell us more about London life very interested in hearing about it. I lived in Hong Kong for 16 years loved it

baby signs. baby seaside prob saying 'you will never sleep. ever again. no point putting your pjs on really'
think she's starting to smile - heart melting ...

LRM, yes I do go to sleep early too. With DS, I had to stay with him until he fell asleep, I must say I usually fell sound asleep before he did ! And until he was 2 yo. Bad sleep association, no adult time, our fault really. With Anastasia, I trained her to fall asleep on her own, she does now, except that she has this cold that makes her breathe very loudly. I have no choice but feed her at 6, put her down around 7 to look after her brother and get him to sleep by 8pm.
Wish I had told off DH when he kissed her a few weeks ago, he had runny nose, now she has it and I am the one who suffers from it !!! You are right, just ban anyone with a cold from coming closer to your baby.
Just drop DS at school, little Anastasia still sleeping so I will go back to bed too !

Hpbp. Love to hear your tips on getting little one to sleep. Night time he falls asleep after a feed day time no chance.

Ladies is any one just breastfeeding only? Everyone I know seems to have dropped it for bottles with formula. Just wondering what everyone else is up to

Seaside, great choice on pram, the Vista was on my list too, can't believe how close we are, the Versa first and now the Vista ! I ruled it out because it was too bulky for my flat and I am too short to open it :( but I loved the raised seat and huge basket, and very good price. I still have not tested the Versa but you mentioned it was called back and I need a pushchair in 2 weeks time. DH ordered today the Baby Jogger City Mini GT. My only regret on this one is it is forward facing only. Well, it is life, compromise and priorities !
LRM, I am still EBF at 16 weeks. Plan to keep on until Anastasia has teeth. (DS had hs first tooth at 12 months !) But thinking about introducing bottle around 6 months so that I can enroll her to nursery, part time, before the separation anxiety kicks in, money permitting ! I would then do combined feeding with one bottle at lunch time. Struggling to get Anastasia to take the bottle though even with expressed milk.
If my memory is good, VQ is EBF too. Midget ? FF ? Goat ?

LRM, feel free to switch to bottle, don't let anyone put pressure on you to BF, do whatever is best for you and family. A happy bottle is far better than a reluctant breast feed. Baby feels your emotions, all of them. If you are at peace, baby will relax. And this is what we all want, happy baby, happy mum, happy dad. Xxxxx

lrm Im ebf too, naive plan to carry on for a year / end of mat leave, but may cave in view of sore boobs and basic practicality at 6 months ... hope to carry on though as sounds like the immunity stuff is particularly helpful for prem babies until their tiny immune systems catch up. but from what goat says they are also hellish sleepers so im in for a rough ride ... guilt about her prematurity will no doubt win the day! Can't bear the thought of all those hospital admissions prem babies seem to get :( going to try and face the pump again soon so dp can help with sleep. wise words from hpbp, im going to try and listen to voice of sanity if bf gets too tough

Ps at your fil! Id have been furious and left!

Hpbp that's a great pram, and there has to be a compromise with ever

...y one

Still exclusively breastfeeding but it is bloody hard work. I totally understand why most women give up so quickly but I am a firm believer that baby humans need human milk. I fed DD1 until 8 months but had to work shifts so stopped sadly. Fed DD2 until 18 months when she self weaned. Plan to feed boy until he is fending me off with a stick. Teeth are not a problem. If baby bites, a pat on the nose and removal of boobage will soon stop it. DD used to bite me to tell me she had finished, like a game. She would wrinkle up her nose first so I could see it coming and whip it out. Mostly.

Have been thinking fond thoughts of london. Not so keen on my patch covering stockwell park estate, and there were murders on my patch too. I loved the multicultural aspect and also worked mainly with HIV clients, so saw some interesting things. It was right back when HIV was very new. I loved being able to eat whatever I wanted at any time day or night, and loved going to harrods and the big country club and brick lane for bagels at 2am. Had some wild parties too as my brother worked at the prison. Like a different world to my life now. Both wonderful, but would not swap for anything now.

Well so much for the Christmas shopping today. Still, a little but accomplished so I guess better than nothing...
We are now on formula, as I mentioned earlier in the thread, I think. For lots of reasons, not least that even on a bottle Babygoat has latching and suck problems, even now. And thus keeping my supply up was dependent on a bf/bottle top up/express cycle that took nearly two hours - ooh, about the length of a feeding cycle then. I am still that no one could help with that. But am coming to terms with it as I watch my increasingly happy, smiley baby!
seaside no hospital admissions here yet, fingers crossed!

I am looking forward to smiles. And sleep. Yawn.

I have two double prams. A PnT sport, and a mountain buggy terrain, new but old version so much better. Using the PnT all the time as one of the wheels on the buggy keeps popping off. Problem with the inner tube I think as it bulges like a balloon in one spot. Cannot wait to take my monster side by side out. The PnT is ok but very flimsy and baby is just swinging underneath. Not ideal, but fits in the car and I can lift it. The buggy is for trips from home as I can load it up and bounce them down the stairs (when the bloody wheel is on anyway).

When I go back to work and DD2 will walk nicely without playing with the traffic, I will get a Maclarens.

Why is it when you're feeding do you start to cough. Baby monkey unlanches and is grumpy man or what. I have my sports bottle next to me in bed with a large jug of water. Never drunk so much water as I have the last two months and in hospital gallons and gallons. Hardly surprising NHS is skint heating on full blast. Felt like sleeping in my underwear some nights.
Health visitor all good. He is 10lbs 5 oz. Length long maybe like his ma. Discussed given him expressed milk in bottle. Will start during dp christmas holidays. He is off two weeks. Blows my mind I will get a possible 6 hour sleep window some evenings. Just woke from a two hour sleep feel like crap all of a sudden hope not coming down with anything.
Midget. How ya doing today? Moving that pelvic floor?

VQ. London sounded a blast. Ah to be young eh. Put the radio on earlier found 80's radio station oh lord good to listen to but makes me feel a right old bird
Breastfeeding and teeth oh crap sounds nice. I have visions of fangs chomping down. Thanks for the nose taps tip

Sorry ladies I am going to have to do it............... Buying him a Santa outfit !!!! Also a nice elf number. anyone else doing the same?

Bythesea. If I start bottles will you let me know how it goes honey. Hv gave me some good tips.

I have seen a nice little snowman and reindeer outfit in Tesco. 5 quid each. Could be tempted.

We have one of those vq DH was a bit but he'll come round!

I need an outfit for the weekend for him. I sm I am making christmas cards. Last years effort was my soft toy red monkey wearing a Santa hat in the garden sat on cotton wool for snow. They looked shite which everyone expects now. dp is so up fot it but may change his mind when he sees the card and I make him sign it
Bythesea. How's ewan doing this morning. Mine is staring at me on a pillow purple legs purple legs ready for action. I must admit I use him every night. It relaxes me. This evening my young man is wearing a very fetching all in one number covered in cats and dogs teamed with lime green socks for toasty toes.
Sorry silly mummy at 2:13. Baby on boob now a sleep. Ewan I could kiss your battery filled belly xx. Night night ladies and our lovely babies.

Lrm i no longer have high hopes for ewan and baby seaside but as you say relaxes me! Dp left hint downstairs tonight. May wake him to fetch the sheep as i could do with some harp right now ...
Thinking of Christmas card making too, which might be combined with birth announcements and thankyou letters unless that's a bit crap? i have Christmas gro ready :)
oh and please pass on hv bottle tips

goat sorry that was insensitive of me re bf, im very aware that we are only still doing it because we can, thankfully its been one thing that has actually gone right so far, and this is pure luck. im a classic prem baby mum worrier about hospital etc, ignore me!
Vq am in awe of your varied buggy experience. i can already see i was a fool to think one model would work for everything until baby seaside is 17 and can drive...
Thoughts on self- rocking bouncy chairs anyone? Seem like the key to actually being able to go to the loo before dp comes home from work

seaside it's hard work as well as luck, don't undersell yourself! . And bouncy chairs ROCK. I can't recommend highly enough. As you say, I actually get to go to the loo/have lunch/prepare bottles/tidy house... All these in small bursts, but still!
lrm love the sound of your Christmas cards... Mine were similar as they were one of my sheep skiing down snow (really pathetic emoticon needed for serial sheep collector). There were a few follow up pictures too, of her with a broken leg, then being comforted by a large glass of wine and her sheep friend Baaanaby. (I did warn you about the pathetic aspect!)
vq our pram is a Graco travel system juggernaut that makes little prem Babygoat look microscopic. It is ridiculously large.