Fantastic 40+ Mums

[Hpbp]

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

Oh and seaside I was just trying to offer reassurance re hospital admissions, that they are not necessArily a given! You might be fine!

Baby bjorn bouncers are the best. Very pricy. Got mine off ebay and on fourth child. Had to wait ages to get one I could afford. It is ace but not all babies like them.

About going to the loo etc. It will not harm a baby to be put down and cry for a few minutes.

I am having an awful night tonight. I thought at nearly 4 weeks we had turned a corner.

Bythesea. Hv said only let dp do express bottles only at first. Introduced one at the evening. Use a cheap latex feeder from Tesco. Stand and feed dont sit for first few times. If not settled after bottle offer the boob. I am going to give it a go nearer Christmas. Good idea for combination christmas card and thank u.

Goat. I have the same buggy as u. Bought carry cot not used it yet as use car sit the most. Love the sheep addition. Mine is monkey's well orangutan are my favourite. Would love a trip to Borneo to see them in the wild. I have a WWF adopted one Gordon in Borneo. So cute.
I want a bouncer but not too expensive. Agree with vq about leaving em for a moment to nip to the loo etc. I tried Moses baskets the kitchen yesterday while I made tea. He was ok for five mins then kicked off. I turned the radio on ok again for a song then again bless him. I kept singing to him. Actually no wonder he screamed my voice in song is not great. Put in his crib with plane mobile whizzing around got my hair brushed and bed made before he said loudly you have left me and I want a cuddle please. The bouncy chair I have is a bit big is there newborn ones that are any good.

The one I mentioned is suitable from birth. I have a chair in the kitchen that is a feeding chair but reclines so ok from fairly small. Not put him in yet.

Vq. Sorry u had a shit night. Wishing you a better day and evening
Midget. How r u today?
Bythesea. Send sheep back for refund as he is not up to par!

I need a snickers bar today a very large on infact I would sit at the end of the assembly line taste tester em

Baby monkey a sleep on my arm which has gone dead. Shall leave him as been a long morning already.

Thanks vq. I may try him in the one I have. It's a mamas n papas one. I love giving him cuddles but can't hold him all day. Sling is ok for a bit but kills my back. Mum coming this morning so will give cuddles.

VQ, hope you can find some time to rest today, between school runs and nursery and baby J. Thinking of you.
LRM thanks for sharing the bottle feeding tip, I was told to use the brown teat too (3 for euro 1,90) but why feed baby standing ? Any reason for that ? Will give it a try this week end. I have asked my Mum and DH to bottle feed Anastasia but she would not take it at all. I shall persevere. I can't bear the thought of sending her to nursery for 2 days and knowing she would not eat properly at lunch, but hey, I still have 2 months to work on it....
Baby bouncers ? How long would it last ? Can it be used once baby can roll over ? I have not got one neither for DS nor Anastasia, I use a travel cot downstairs in the living room where I put her down to cook, shower, go to the loo, answer the door... Usually after the morning feed, I put her down in it, she plays a bit and falls asleep among the usual house noises.

I used the bouncer until about seven months at which point babies were wanting to sit up themselves. The one I have can allegedly be used up to age 3 which I think is daft.

That was the worst night so far. Had to wake DH as I had had enough. I said to him either that or I was gonna chuck him down the stairs. I would never hurt him but can understand how people can lose it and accidentally shake a baby to hard. Feel sad.

Don't feel sad VQ, you did the right thing, hand over when you know you might lose control, you are exhausted, try to have a nap, even 10 minutes. Xxxxx

Thank you Hp I know you understand x it is so hard this feeding lark, especially with older kids. I know it will get easier, and soon. The darkest hour is before the dawn. It will be so worth it.

I have gripe water now so knowing it is there will help. It is easier in the day. DH was told exactly what I was feeling this morning and that helped too.

Big hug for VQ. This parenting lark can push us all to our limits. I have never smacked DD but I was bloody close to it yesterday. Challenging behaviour is one name for it or being a little shit to get my attention is another. Always best to walk away and take time when it gets like that. Anyone who says they haven't been there either doesn't have children or is a liar.

Left Master nudge with DH and got my hair cut (no black and blue bits) and it has made me feel much more human. Also
Feeling much more positive about my pelvic floor. Exercising like crazy but in a gentle way. HP I was also told about Siting up gently and totally ignored it as I thought my stomach muscles were strong . Feel stupid now. 2 days of physio type exercises and I already feel like I could recover a bit and I can walk without feeling I may loose my insides. hopefully the proper physio app when I get it will sort me out. Also going to join WW to shift this last stone of baby weight - makes a difference to he pressure on your organs and I miss my old clothes! We can't wear Elmo pyjamas all the time eh LRM? Also going to book a holiday, motivation to get out of the leggings if ever there was one.

Right have to go get DD from school and to gymnastics. A woman's work is never done.....

Master nudge? Fecking autocorrect....

VQ. Sorry to hear u had a shit evening. Sending massive hugs. Good u can talk to hubby. Have u got anyone who can come and help u for an hour so u can catch ten winks. Have hubby on early evening duty so u can get some zzzzz. Your right about how it makes u feel. It really freaked me out after a week of having him home and no sleep I did think about popping him in the shed! It is so much harder for u and hpbp having other kids. But u r fab mums. Positive souls and it gets to all of us at times. Thinking of u tonight xxx

Midget. I am crap with my weight at the moment. Dead jealous of u all getting into pre clothes. Need to try harder. Oh and by the way hAve u got a camera in my house? Still got Elmo Jim jams on. Hahaha. Glad your exercises are coming on. I did 50 squats today feck so out of shape. Dp has seen a cross trainer on line for me. May get it so I can hop on and off during the day in small chunks. Going to the gym at the moment feels a bit to much plus really embarrassed to go back this fat to be honest. I am so weak when it comes to food! !!!

Hpbp. Hv told partner to stand with bottle? I have no idea why did not ask. She was a pediatrician before hv. Random now I think about it.

I did think today after my mum said it I wonder what Dylan's voice will sound like. Wow that is going to be amazing to hear him speak. Hope he doesn't do it at nursery. How old was yours when they spoke vq & hp? What was their first word?

vq feeling cross with your baby and actually losing control are worlds apart! You are just very very tired. hope you have more help/sleep today

so, the bouncy chair thing, im thinking i need a vibrating one, no? On basis that only place apart from me that baby s settles is moving transport of some kind. i know you are all right about braving the crying for the odd 5 mins, but i feel sooo dreadful when i do. i really must toughen up!

i slept for 4 hours last night thank f*! don't usually swear, but blimy i needed to. Feel like new woman so have been out to two separate baby groups, shopping and lunch out! Gave health food a miss in favour of macd. now in cafe cuddling baby s and eating flapjack she has been model baby all day

Thank you all for your kind words. I have arranged a couple of times for my mum to have J in the day, but I have not been able to sleep or he has needed feeding. Today he slept on the school run and then when I took DH to work and went to Halfords to get tyre fixed, then slept at school run again. Other people have been taking DD1 to school, but I want to do that now as I do not see much of her. When DD2 is home, I want to see her too, and if she is around there is no chance of resting. If she is at nursery, there is a nursery run am and pm too.

I am going to bed when J does if after 7pm when the girls are in bed, but recently he has been waking at 7 so I have stayed downstairs. The other night he want to bed at 7 and I got the best night, with three two hour sleeps. That is what I am aiming for and fits in with (whispers) Gina Ford programme, which I think will suit him. Once the sodding wind is sorted.

Wind tends to go naturally at 3 months anyway, so the end is in sight, but a long way away.

At the weekend DH got the girls up and I stayed in bed until J woke at about 9am. That was good too.

It all seems a blur at the moment, so sorry for the long ramble post.

seaside I feel awful for feeling angry at him, but encouraged by what you say. Poor little scrap has only just learned how to breathe and eat and poo etc. he is not doing it on purpose.

LRM your comment about the shed made me smile. I was thinking drawer personally. We would die for these little creatures, but they can feel as if they are 10ft tall monsters in the middle of the night.

I AM NOT AT MY PRE PREGNANCY WEIGHT. I REPEAT I AM NOT. NOR AM I IN MY PRE PREGNANCY CLOTHES. I FEEL THE NEED TO SHOUT IN CAPITALS.

Something bothering you midget ?

midget if it makes you feel better I'm more than my giving-birth-weight, thanks to massive early hours hunger for chocolate biscuits.

Midget, you are very upset, what s the rush ? Xmas ? Well, it is the only occasion of the year when we can eat like ogres, no ? I have kept 3 kilos from 1st pg, don't think I will ever loose them !
VQ, I managed to fit the GF routine in at around 8 weeks, but if it works for sleeping around 7pm, the rest is rubbish, Anastasia could not stay awake for 1.5 hours and would not nap for 2 cycles at lunch time, I overstressed myself and then I discovered the Baby Whisperer. I am now doing a combination of both. And it works wonder. Anastasia sleeps through the night since she was 10 weeks with the odd waking, I would then feed her and she goes back to sleep. Some mornings she would sleep until I come back from school run, 9am, 9.15am. Thank you, Mummy, for looking after her when I am out for 30 min.
Any chance you can see an osteopath for the wind issue ? It worked straight away for Anastasia. I still do the shoulder andthe lap and the circles/cycling and her burps are very loud and come quite quickly.
You are lucky to be able to speak with DH about how you feel. And I like the idea of staying in bed on week ends while DH looks after the older siblings.
Seaside, you are amazing, you spent the whole day out with baby ! I am too scared still. Well done. I hope to be able to go out once a day !
LRM you know already the sound of Dylan's voice ! Please don't tell me he never cries ! Strangely enough, I can't remember what DS first said. I think he has been babbling so much since he was 4 months that I wasn't not surprised when he pronounced his first undertandable word. Bad mum. I do know though that he called himself Titilas instead of Nicolas for a long long long time. That was so cute. He made his first step unaided at 13 months and had his first tooth at 12. Anastasia spends lots of time talking to herself or to me when I change, bathe, play with her, she also managed to find her thumb, hey hey ! She can now settle by herself. I hated controlled crying. And still do.
Time for me to meet Morpheus. Hope you all do and for a long 4 hours at least.

Strangely I am not bothered about it, it's only 5 weeks and I'm not Kate Moss . Just know it will make me feel better but not in a hurry.

I'm also doing a bit of baby whisperer this time round which seems to work well. Could just be a phase.

Are you feeling better VQ?

Hello, lots going on yesterday! vq hope you are feeling better, as midget says, anyone wh says they have never felt this way at all is a very bad liar. You are amazing, having three of them, I really don't know how you do it!

Our bouncy chair is a Fisher Price that cost a fiver at a Nearly New Sale...

seaside fab news abut getting more sleep, just think what you will feel like with even more! Hope that is just around the corner! (Having scared yu with my doom laden prophecies wboutnorem sleep, BG is actually doing quite well at the mo. fingers crossed.)

Wow, lrm fifty squats! Just walking up stairs makes me need a half hour rest! Especially carrying the great lump that BG now is.

midget when the doctor TUTTED at me at the six week check about not regaining pre-pregnancy weight I nearly threw my urine sample at him -(sorry, is that too graphic?...) You can talk about such things when you've been through it, mate... (at least I do evil stares rather well ) Anyway, I did just fit into a pair of jeans I wore before, heaven know how as still need to lose to stone, but losing it is rather taking a back seat to sheer survival at present!

hpbp interesting abut the combination of routines. I am not sure what Kid is doing, but we seem to b settling into a routine that works. Except today, when he just would not wake up... Even for baby massage which he usually loves... I think he is just recuperating from his tummy bug and needs sleep as we all do when getting over something.

We have been through three changes of sleep suit tonight due to flooding issues. Maybe BG got too many ideas from watching me sort through the mountains of clothing donated by DH's cousin who has twins about 9 months older than BG.

Had three hours sleep so feeling better. My BP is up again. Need to see DR I think. I could not settle baby in his cot so took him into bed. Not the most peaceful of sleeps for me, but sleep it was. Had good feed so will try in cot again shortly. If not, back to my bed for us.

Back to limited sleep for me so going to sleep the morning away with any luck. dp working at home so will even be able to have a shower later touch wood. feel a bit back to square one with sleep

It seems that Nothing is definite with babies ! Anastasia woke up twice last night as well, feed and back to sleep ! But I was alert ! I am now going back to sleep too.
VQ, hope BP will go down quickly. I love cosleeping but it is true that we Mums don't sleep really well with baby in bed with us.
Seaside, enjoy the shower ! How amazing that small and trivial thing like sleep, loo, shower... makes us happy !!!