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Original poster

Working parents. Is it always you who picks up your dc?

82 replies

orangeandlemons · 27/09/2012 18:08

And are you pissed off with it.

Just wondered, dh and I both work. I'm a teacher, and I always have to pick yp dd. I have been on my feet for 9 hours by the time I pick her up, and just want to sit down for an hour.

But instead I have to rush home from work, collect her, do the whole teatime frenzy thing on my own. Dp works a long way off so can't get home in time (but he manages to sneak off early to go to the gym one day a weekHmm)

Just wondered if I was being a miserable cow, but I would just like someone else to do it sometimes

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Trazzletoes · 27/09/2012 18:09

Me too. Feeling your pain.

WofflingOn · 27/09/2012 18:12

Never, I'm a teacher too and it was either OH or my DM who did the collection.
I usually left/leave school between 5 and 6, which was way too unfair on a child I thought. But I think any parent who has a long working day faces the same dilemma of being shattered at the end of work and having to keep going.
You could send her to a childminder after school if you want a break.

picturesinthefirelight · 27/09/2012 18:14

It's always me except for Fridays when I work late so it's my patents. Dh is a teacher in a school 40 miles away & he doesn't finish until 6.30pm.

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Original poster
orangeandlemons · 27/09/2012 18:16

I pick her up at 5.00. I don't want to leave her later than that, as I think it's late enough. She's at a childminders until then.

I dread the picking up and teatime thing. She is not an easy child at the best of times, but hungry and tired she is a nightmare...and it's always me that has to field it.

If I suggest to Dh that he tries he just gives me a load of grief about how stressful it is when I ask him if he can do it, beacuse he can't

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 27/09/2012 18:17

Yes I do

Pretty much been me as DH works long and late hours

Now I have a nanny there's no pick up, but I have a commute which is stressful and sometimes I need time to decompress before bath and bedtime

I would sometimes love to come home to a quiet house with the kids in bed and dinner made

I do find that part of the day difficult TBH

rubyslippers · 27/09/2012 18:18

OP - If your DP can find time to go to the gym, then he can find time to be home

Original poster
orangeandlemons · 27/09/2012 18:21

Well to be fair, he goes in early to allow for gym visit. He could go in early if he wanted, but then I have to deal with the morning thing instead of the evening thing.

OP posts:
WofflingOn · 27/09/2012 18:23

How old is your daughter?

WofflingOn · 27/09/2012 18:24

Why is she hungry when she's picked up?
Doesn't the childminder giver her some tea?

Original poster
orangeandlemons · 27/09/2012 18:29

She's 6. I don't know why she is hungry when she gets home, she gets food at the cm's.

She has always been the sort of child who doesn't each much during the day and eats a lot later in the day. This was evident even when she was a baby. She always seems absolutely famished when she comes in.

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 27/09/2012 18:33

We both work but I never pick-up!
I have a 45 minute commute and DH works from home mostly but even when he's in the office he does. Blush

WofflingOn · 27/09/2012 18:35

Why Blush SB?
If your child is happy and secure that someone is there for them, that's great.

Bonsoir · 27/09/2012 18:35

Why don't you employ someone who can pick her up from school, take her to your house and do some cleaning and prepare your dinner while your DD plays/watches TV/does homework? You would all be a lot less stressed.

Sastra · 27/09/2012 18:38

Does he take her in the morning?

SmokyClav · 27/09/2012 18:41

How much would someone charge for that? And what do they do when one finishes at 3:15 but another has after-school music, chess, sport etc?

Timeforabiscuit · 27/09/2012 18:44

Yes I do - and for the past year it's been
20 min walk to nursery, drop kids off,
20 min (full throttle!!) cycle to work,
a working day,
15 min cycle home (screaming sh*t i'm really late today, stupid blood meeting) pick kids up and constantly "chivvy" to get them moving home
Home for 6 0'clock
Cook dinner
OH breezes in at half six, kids relaxing and me half comatose to a hot der
Angry

and repeat.. every..bloody...day

DH has wisely sought work closer to home

Timeforabiscuit · 27/09/2012 18:48

*hot dinner!

lotsofcheese · 27/09/2012 18:48

Yes, I do ALL the drop-off's & pick-ups. DS is in childcare 8.30-5.45 2 days a week & 8.30-1.15 1 day a week.

DP works longer hours & the opposite direction from CM.

It's a pain in the arse having all the responsibility & being under pressure to get away from work sharp (not easy in the NHS)

BizarreLoveTriangle · 27/09/2012 18:50

I always do it when we are both working. If dp is working at home that day, she does it. They are all in different places as well so it takes me forever in the morning and afternoon.

BonnieBumble · 27/09/2012 18:50

If he can leave early to go to the gym surely he can leave early once a week to do the pick up?

I gave up work to be a SAHM for a while and am now self employed. Next year I want to to study for a work related postgrad. It will involve me travelling 150 miles once a fortnight. I need dh to work from home once a fortnight (perfectly feasible) so he can do school and nursery pick up. Anyone would think I had suggested moving to Australia for a year as he thinks it is an outrageous suggestion. He currently pays the bills but my aim is to match his salary within a few years which will take the pressure off him. I can't do that without support with childcare. It may be 2012 but I feel like everyone expects me to be chained to the kitchen sink.

Why does everyone assume that childcare should be the responsibility of the mother?

Bonsoir · 27/09/2012 18:51

You write a job description (including taking children to extra-curricular etc) and then you negotiate a price!

FairyPenguin · 27/09/2012 18:51

Yes I do but DH works long hours far away so is never home to see the children during the week. He would love to be able to do some pick ups or drop offs but it's not usually possible. He did it about 10 times last year.

I don't resent him for it but I do get bored of the daily routine, especially if I've had a hard day at work or we all have to trudge through the rain carrying umpteen bags.

Timeforabiscuit · 27/09/2012 18:54

Oranges the only thing that has made my timetable possible is that when DH arrives home he has 15mins to decompress - then eat his meal in peace and I then have 30 mins in a scalding hot bath on my own.

Me waiting 25 mins to have a break does irk me, but then he has a hard commute as well - so our compromise works to an extent (nothing to do with liberal wine and chocolate buying and top ups oh no)

chocolatebiscuits · 27/09/2012 18:55

My DC2 is 9 and has just started making her own way to and from school. It is blisssful - so much easier than always rushing to be there at precisely the right time. DC1 is 12.5 and gets home first, so he can let her in if I'm a few minutes late. Hadn't realised quite how much daily stress the school run was until it vanished :) So, there is an end in sight....

Timeforabiscuit · 27/09/2012 18:58

bonnie It's more acceptable in an office environment for a woman to leave at five on the dot than a man - the same as applying for part time roles.

Completely and utter f*cking wrong, but there it is