Erm, what do you mums *do* all day with young babies...?!

[Walnutshell]

Hi Laydeez n Gentz,
New to all this so please bear with. Have been wondering what other mums (dads too) actually do all day with their lo's... I have an almost-5m-old and I think we're doing OK but wonder what a typical day looks like for everyone else?
(Esp when I get a bit bored late afternoon and run out of entertainment value... ahem)

I'm always out and about with the DTs.

I'm on the edge of two surestart areas so there is always loads going on - mother and baby groups, toy library, storytime, coffee mornings, baby massage, parenting seminars, feeding support groups, or cinema/park/galleries/museums with friends.

make the most of it - do whatever you want- it won't last!!!

Walnutshell

I actually find life with my (just starting tantrums) 16 month old toddler easier than with a small baby. It is harder work but much less boring. I think I am probably also alone in not being worried by the tantrums etc. I just wasn't a small baby person and I also found the whole bfing in public very difficult.

Ds was a difficult baby who needed a lot of sleep but wouldn't sleep when out and about, who was a nightmare to bf 'discreetly' and who cried a lot. He is a much happier young toddler and for me that made the difference.

It makes me laugh now when people say a young baby is portable - I really didn't find that but it is different for everyone. I found having a small baby a mix of deadly boring and incredibly stressful. I went out a with him a lot but I never enjoyed it as I found him and feeding him so stressful. It did get better though - at about 10-11 months for me.

Now ds is harder work but I get far less stressed. Everyone says a young baby is portable but I feel much happier with a toddler who is into everything than with a newborn/small baby - Weird - but for me it is true

Lazycow, I'm so glad you posted, I feel really reassured and can imagine feeling as you do when ds gets a bit older (not that I'm wishing time away or anything, but you know what I mean.)

Bf-ing ds even when I'm at my parents and there are several family members around is difficult - he fusses, pulls on and off etc - let alone casually popping him on in Tesco's Cafe! Like you found, difficult to do discreetly, otherwise I would feel more confident doing it in public. Perhaps he's just easily distracted, ie nosey!

Anyway, I feel better now so thanks again. x

PS might come back to you when I'm at the tantrum stage!

hi walnutshell, didn't realise you had such big dogs! I walk two beagles and they're no threat to an occupied buggy

good luck occupying your time! you just sort of shift down a gear, sometimes I used to get bored but now I love being at home!

Argh, why didn't I get sensible dogs!! Actually, one is a sensible little mongrel, nice size, well behaved, no health problems. The supposed pedigree is big, whingy, practically lives at the vets and pulls on the lead. Oh, also doesn't like other dogs much. Having said that, I don't blame the dog for the owner's lack of ability to train (ie me and dh!) Plus, he's a handsome dog, nice with people.

Glad you are reiterating the 'sometimes used to get bored, OK now' theme though. Despite my 'moments', I don't want to go back to work (2 days per week from June, ds will be 7 months) although maybe I will appreciate the time at home even more on the other 5 days! Dh did wonder if I was a bit pnd as have had depression in the past, but mostly OK, just have occasional day of 'what am I doing?' (+ tears!) and worry worry worry about doing enough for ds (perfectionist!)

Sorry, got carried away there, turning this into the Walnutshell show. Must get a grip.
xxx

walnutshell - my dd about same age as yours - I am only just coming out of the omigod its really stressful phase - also recognise what you say about being a 'perfectionist' and constantly worrying about whether you are 'doing' the right stuff ... I used to wonder whether i had held her enough, then whether I had played with her enough, then whether I had been out enough, then whether I had stayed in enough... and like you, thought I was about a millimetre away from PND!

as for bfing in public I found it got easier the more I did it as I just cared less, and I think while tiny babies are really lovely in lots of ways, and we will look back and long for those times again, alot of the time it can be boring, and now at 5m they start responding more, playing with toys, laughing etc.

Now I go out to all the groups and stuff like others have mentioned, but also more contented staying in some days too than I was previously.

you are sure to get into your own 'ways' soon

Thanks B'weed, v reassuring to not be the only one. Wonder if thinking you are a millimetre away from PND = PND??

For me, sometimes up days, usually OK days, occasional ohmigod days when I feel lethargic, tearful, unable to cope. Not necessarily with ds, but life generally, but of course with a lo, there is no 'I'll just b*gger off back to bed until the feeling passes'...

Feeling much better now the warmer weather - well, sunnier at least! - has shown it's face for 2 whole days! January - March always the yuck months for me. Also, ds coming along in leaps and bounds in just the last 2-3 weeks (he is 5m on Saturday to be precise); so lovely to see him developing. Yum. x

walnutshell, if you are going back to work in June, i wouldn't worry - just enjoy the time you have with your baby now. you just being with your baby and making sure he is loved and cared for is all that matters....i know exactly how you feel, maybe i should practice what i preach!

i was also shy about bfing in public, but there are places where you can go to do it dicreetly - our mothercare has a breastfeeding room?