Describe your worst day with your two-year-old

[Pruni]

Just to make me feel better.

my ds managed to lock me out of the house yesterday, him inside and me in the freezing cold. Had to ring dh to come home from work to let me back in. Luckily ds just stood by the door where he could see me crying and sucking his thumb.

was also lucky that friend was walking past with her mobile so I could phone dh otherwise i'd have had to abandon ds completely to walk to nearest phone box

compo, ds did something similar recently. Dh went out the front door, turned to the left to bring back the wheelie bin from the street. In the meantime ds sneaked out of the door but turned right.

Five minutes later he heard a gentle knocking sound but couldn't work out where it was coming from. Another couple of minutes later 'dada, dada' could be heard. dh finally twigs and finds ds standing outside the door half dressed in the freezing cold.

He so easily could have walked out the front gate and into the road. It doesn't bear thinking about.

Looking forward to your DS3 turning 2, dino??!!!
It's a nightmare age!!
Saying that, you may have a perfect two year old. I think I may just have a beast here! Even MIL said to me the other day "You know you have got that one don't you?!"
Oh yes, I know I have got him alright!!

What would you like for lunch ? Beans or pie ?
Pie
Pie warmed up and served in favourite bowl, shrieks of no pie want beans; pie on floor in 1000 spattered bits unless I'm lightning quick

Same variant with toys, books, clothes etc all day long (and the days start EARLY with my little terror)
Good to hear we're not alone ! My ds3 is by far the most "terrible" of all my 4 at 2 years old...

My MIL swears that my DH never had the terrible twos and could be reasoned with even at that age.
Hope it's genetic (dd is 9 months) but frankly I'm not holding my breath!

I opened the wine at about 5.15.
Thanks again for your replies. I honestly have had an awful awful day and you have all made me feel a lot better.
PMSL at marina's dd's "stealth turd" and Enid's dd's potty training.
Have decided never ever to potty train.

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1375&threadid=156240\ this was my awful, yukky, lost my rag day - today}

today!! was laughing at frogs post it could be my child!! but this afternoon she excelled herself. been whinging and wining all day, refused her tea so i took it away told her no pudding she went to fridge to help herself i told her no so she went back into living room picked up a heavy paperweight off the shelf and chucked it through the window!!!!!!!!! i lost it completly and am no expecting to be reported to social services by my neighbours!!! didnt know i could shout that loud!!

pruni i was on the g and t at 5!! wine wasnt strong enough! think i will start on it at breakfast tomorrow and spend the day in an alcoholic daze oblivious to the little madam!

In my toddler taming book there's a sentence that describes how my toddler ds is somedays........"doesn't know quite what he wants but must have it immediately!"

Kathy 1972 - you MIL might be right! My dd is 3.5 and has always been quite reasonable (although she doesnt have much choice, if she doesnt like my dinner/discipline/activity choice then there is nothing.) With the use of time out etc she was always able to be reasoned with eventually. Cue me and dh feeliing like top notch parents. Expecting ds next month and expect this time to be our testing time and that he will probably actually do the terrible 2s stage and we'll be eating our smug uberparent words!!!! Good luck, hopefully your dd will be as reasonable as your dh.

LOLOLOLOL at all of these ... particularly frogs and Marina ... made my day
DD's best ever day was the day she did a poo during her nap ... I thought she was asleep and so went in to wake her in order to go and get DS from school ...
She had taken off her sleeping bag, and her nappy. She had thrown the nappy out of her cot (poo side down) and had had a lovely time playing with all the poo . Sorry if this is TMI but there was $hit everywhere; all over the cot, all over her toys, in her hair, on her face, in her ears ... it was foul .
I had 10 minutes to get her in the bath, clear up the mess, throw the linen and toys in the washing machine, wash her hair, get her dressed (with all the shananigans described by frogs) and out of the door up to school.

ghostly.

dd still does a lot of these (with the exception of playing with poo) and she is 4 next month :(

Hockeymum - fingers crossed, eh?
Unfortunately my MIL has sciatica, otherwise I'd be leaving dd with her for long periods to see if her parenting techniques can work the same magic this time round!
And fingers crossed for your next one...

Shudders in recognition of behaviour on this thread and in dread of that described which DS1 does not yet do, but soon will...

I'll look back and laugh though, well, if I don't emigrate first.

Oh thank God! I'm not the only one, DS1 and I are at war over the dinner table and we both end up crying He asks for something and then screams he doesn't want it, than asks for it again and then screams he doesn't want it again, and on and on and on......

Whe will my happy sunshiney little by come back?

Oh my god, I have never laughed so long and loud in all my life. These are just brilliant stories.

DD1 is 4.5 yrs now and has had her fair share of tantrums. Worst one was in posh hotel on Isle of Wight. Sat on the stairs and wailed that she didn't want her hair brushed as other guests tried to get around her. I was crimson with embarrassment and eventually had to drag her back to the room until her screaming died down.

Now we're well and truly into the f&cking fours. It's like sharing a house with a teenager. She stamps her foot, whinges, moans and generally sulks if she doesn't get her own way. Oh and tells me EXACTLY what I've done wrong...best one is, Mummy you've woken the baby now because you were shouting.....

DD2 is 9 weeks old and I@m stealing myslef for more of the same

This i have told before but here goes:
ds sitting at the table eating his brecky, me washing the pots thinking my thoughts.
DS suddenly shouting frantically at me "FATTY,FATTY,FATTY!"
Waving his toy drill in the air.....

Thinking clouded slightly with red rage and awful sadness that even my tiny son can see what a big mamma i am these days when it dawns on me he is actually shouting..."battery,battery,battery" at me to tell me that the battery has run down on his drill.
"oh" i sigh, releasing my white knuckle grip on the rolling pin.

Later that day, potty training has commenced with ds anouncing "i want my nappy off"
me "fantastic, brilliant, why dont you try to have a wee in the loo?"
DS "ok" stands up to the loo and does a big wee!
me "fantastic, well done" big kisses.
i turn to turn off the tap to the bath that i am filling for us to share.
Turn back towards him and he was walking towards me with HUGE tears in his eyes.
Me "whats the matter?"
THUD a huge turd the size of a corn on the cob drops from his tiny peach of a cute bum onto my landing carpet.....
me "never mind" wrestles the monster into the toilet, cleans ds up and put him into the bath.
DS "ive done another poo in my bedroom"
me "great", trots off to his bedroom and there is diarrhoea smeared all over his bedroom carpet.
I cleaned it up muttereing under my breath.
Gets undressed and sinks into the gorgeous bath with ds.
wetting my hair with a cup when ds smiles at me and anounces that he has just done a big wee in the bath.
me "great" carries on.
Ds then turns to me with a strange look in his eye and then.....vomits on me, in a projectile manner TWICE.
SO im sat with piss dripping from my hair, raisins stuck to my tits and yoghuts floating around my floo.
ds "ooh mummy you got raisins on your hoobs"
all the while shoving the vomit up my end of the bath whilst continuing to play with his toys.
I wearily get up, put on the shower and pull out the plug. Im having to shove bits of food down the plug hole with my big toe while claeaning us both off.

The next day i found a five pound note on the ground and normally i would ask around in case any one had dropped it but that day i shoved it into my pocket and kept it with the firm belief that it had been sent down from God himself as if to say "go on girl, treat yourself. I sent you all kinds of crap yesterday, get yourself something nice!"

Not one of you can beat that story!!!

Oh and of course there was the classic Sainsburys episode....

Had taken DD1 9then 2,5yrs) round Sainsburys one Saturday afternoon when the store was packed to the rafters with shoppers. DD1 was in the trolley and I was employing my best Tanya Byron parenting techniques to keep her amused.

Me: what's this vegetable?
DD: cucumber

Me: can you show me where the potatoes are?
DD: over there mummy

Me: lets get an avocado
DD: starts to wail at top of her voice, I don't want an avocado, I don't want an avocado....

This went on and on and on as I got more and more flustered as i tried to distract her from this damn avocado. She sounded like the worlds worst spoilt brat. I tried to console her, reason with her, bribe her....nothing was working and you could hear her screams all over the store

Had to finish shopping with screaming child in trolley who was still complaining bitterly that she didn't want an avocado.

To this day she's never eaten avocado again

Oh dear, donbean - that is a bad day!!
You win!

OMG Donbean. You definately win

Yep, Sainsburys pales into insignificance after your puke, wee and poo day Donbean