Broken hearted over my DS

[DistressedMumHELP]

Okay, i want help and reassurance really. I have name changed for this in case anyone recognises me. I was stopped and asked for an account of events yesterday after witnessing an altercation and the police officer noticed the bruise on my little boys cheek. Which i explained was where he had fallen in between the step and bench in my garden, they then noticed he has bruises on his legs around his knees, so eventually they arrested me on suspicion of ABH. I was of course a mess, but i was told at the time that it was procedure etc, so i was compliant with them, Last night i got released on police bail and was of course expecting my little boy back, but today after seeing social services they have said i cant have him returned to me. I am heart broken, i have never hurt my child on purpose, and i look after him as best as possible. Originally they were saying he didnt talk, but today in front of the social worker he was talking, and i am trying to explain that he gets shy about talking, when they say he is friendly etc. They went through all my history and i have been as open as possible with them, and i dont know what to do. They want to keep him in care and are applying for a court order on friday to do so. I plan on seeing a solicitor tomorrow, the only reason i didnt today was because i didnt leave the social services until half 5 so no where was open.

I NEED A HUG. I PROMISE I WOULD NEVER HURT HIM AND FEEL THAT JUST A FEW BRUISES HAVE TAKEN MY SON FROM ME.

I want him home. Does anyone have any experiences? How long will it take? They said they couldnt say,

Really hope things get better for you and you get your child back soon.

If my 2 year old was spoken to by a doctor without me there he wouldn't be able to day much. If anything he might if asked how he got a bruise say yep but that's it. But his speech is great at home and sometimes doesn't stop talking, but like most two year old is unsure of strangers

Years ago I would have said there was more to this story, but having worked with some ss I realised how over worked, undertrained and incompetent some of then are.

OP I hope all goes ok at solicitors. I believe you x

Hope you get some answers at the solicitors distressed mum. I know you can't necessarily go into everything online here and be careful as you didn't want to out yourself either.

Hope they can give you some good advice.

I really hope things work out for you and your son.

I hope you're coming out of your appointment soon with a plan of action. Been following your thread from last night. What a shit situation. Good luck

To b efair to the police officer, he was called to an altercation involving a weapon and finds a child on the scene wiht serious facial bruising. I think he was probably right to at least check things out.

From there SS will have had a doc look at the kid. If the doc says taken together the bruising, inappropriate circmstances, underdevelopement, Mums previous history with SS with an ex putting him danger (I wish people wouldn't focus on just one aspect and say it's ridiculous) then a picture emerges where they shoudl at least check things out.

And while they're doing their checking the child shouldn't go home. That's just common sense.

However, no court will willy nilly grant an order if the OP objects. Hopefully, she can get a solicitor to make thinsg clearer.

My Dd wouldn't speak in that situation either OP I hope you're ok.

Well my solicitor has emailed the local authority involved to find if they are going to court and when. She said I had done the right thing to tell the police and social workers everything. The fact he witnessed DV is likely to be bought up but the fact I removed him from that situation does help. They asked for anyone i would put forward to look after him and as a result I gave them my male bestie who lives quite local. They have agreed to that and offered last night to do exactly that. They came over to see me so I didn't do anything "stupid" as I have taken over doses in the past.
The court is most likely central London. If his bloods come back abnormal and the bruises are then easily explained he is likely to be able to come home, but I will still have to fight for him.

I will not give up on my son
Thank you for everyone's support

Bloody hell, that was a quick appointment!

Are you sure your solicitor covered everything? How long were you together?

You said you moved closer to family? Is there a family member your son could be placed with? So he is with a familiar person and familiar surroundings?

What you are going through is my worst nightmare - I'm freaking out about sending my DS to school!! - so you really have all my sympathy and prayers.

wordfactory which was why i was compliant and told them everything, cos I know they have a job to do. My history is bad I know but my solicitor said they should be looking at the care I now give him.

Distressed - Have you seen your son yet?

I haven't read the whole thread, but I really don't think you should put too much of this on here. Get legal help and good luck!

I was with her an hour. She took all the info but she said really til she got the court papers there wasn't much she could really do.
I was allowed 45 minutes with him yesterday. (honestly i think the social worker saw the hurt and done everything)

My male bestie is familiar, he was at one point spending most days together and has stayed over at mine. My mum can't even lift him (she is 65 with a bad back, easily dislocated knee and other issues)

I am updating from my mobile on buses and in offices etc.

You seem to be getting good advice, and I'm glad you have someone who can support you and your DS, in your best friend. I hope they do place your son with him, you are thinking of your DS's best interests by not asking your mum to, hopefully that will look good in your favour.

I will keep checking on the thread, and if you have any issues brought up about your epilepsy, feel free to PM me and I will get some advice for you - not all epilepsy action volunteers are as well informed about the issues that might he brought up around ability to look after children, and adjustments you can make to your lifestyle to satisfy SS as mine is, a lot haven't got children at all.

Ate you getting to see your son today? Have they set days and times for you to see him yet? If not, press them for times, and dates. It doesn't look good if you don't press to see him.

So he's going to be staying with your friend? That sounds positive!

I agree with Fishpond, Cowthy and namechange in that most people dont realise how easily a ss case can escalate when the parent has done nothing wrong

It is a scary society we live in now.

I'd advise any parent now to think carefully before sending a bruised child to nursery.

I have tried ringing my social worker but haven't got an answer so on route to the building. I asked yesterday as well when I would get to see him. But I won't be cut from his life.
They would have to check they were suitable first, but if he cant come home that is a possibility.

Glad you got to see him yesterday, hope you get to see him today.

Are you in court tomorrow. I think they room him away from you because of your health record rather than anything missing from the story if you see what I mean.

Also you can't really help where you live, you have to live where you can afford. I don't live in the nicest area but it's the pla e I can afford. I'd hate to be judged by a ss for that.

Do you use your local children's centre?

I was just thinking that - how easily it can go from an unrelated incident to having to fight the courts for your child.

But, I do believe it. I was involved in an accident several years ago. I was the driver in a STATIONARY car, when a drunk driver crashed into me. I was breathalised BEFORE the driver of the car that hit me. I was fine (I hadn't been drinking) but god forbid I had (it was Christmas eve and I COULD have been). ALl of a sudden, I would have be in trouble for something that was not my fault at all.

Scary stuff.

Sounds like an awful situation. Hope you get it sorted.

I don't use my local children's centre. So much has been going on (moving, divorce being complicated etc) it sorta got left, he sees two of my friend's little boys (similar age) so he isn't without other kids.

Hope you can get your DS to stay with your friend. One thing that helped us get DS back into our care was the fact that he was staying with someone (MIL) who we could go to everyday, which we did so we still had that high level of contact.

From what you have said it sounds like you are doing everything in your power to do the right thing which in turn will hopefully lead to getting your son back. Always, always keep calm around the SS as they will be looking to get you wound up to see how you react under pressure. They are obviously investigating you as they think you might harm your DS, but if you can show them that you are a calm person who is not agressive at then you are doing all you can.

I am just going by my experience there and I wish you all the best and hope you can get your DS home safe with you.