Broken hearted over my DS

[DistressedMumHELP]

Okay, i want help and reassurance really. I have name changed for this in case anyone recognises me. I was stopped and asked for an account of events yesterday after witnessing an altercation and the police officer noticed the bruise on my little boys cheek. Which i explained was where he had fallen in between the step and bench in my garden, they then noticed he has bruises on his legs around his knees, so eventually they arrested me on suspicion of ABH. I was of course a mess, but i was told at the time that it was procedure etc, so i was compliant with them, Last night i got released on police bail and was of course expecting my little boy back, but today after seeing social services they have said i cant have him returned to me. I am heart broken, i have never hurt my child on purpose, and i look after him as best as possible. Originally they were saying he didnt talk, but today in front of the social worker he was talking, and i am trying to explain that he gets shy about talking, when they say he is friendly etc. They went through all my history and i have been as open as possible with them, and i dont know what to do. They want to keep him in care and are applying for a court order on friday to do so. I plan on seeing a solicitor tomorrow, the only reason i didnt today was because i didnt leave the social services until half 5 so no where was open.

I NEED A HUG. I PROMISE I WOULD NEVER HURT HIM AND FEEL THAT JUST A FEW BRUISES HAVE TAKEN MY SON FROM ME.

I want him home. Does anyone have any experiences? How long will it take? They said they couldnt say,

And if you know that psychopaths are 'always really nice and friendly' then why aren't you more aware? Why do you allow strangers into your life? I'm not having a go OP, I'm just pointing out that from your posts it's obvious you are aware of red flags, but you choose not to take time to look for them.

Why are you now talking about men you attracted to?
Why is this guy a "bad boy"?

There is more to life than chasing your attractions.

is the best you can come up with is a thinly disguised threat to kill yourself? think about your son. imagine him as you if that hels. what did you want for yourself that you never got? be that mum you wanted for yourself. understand how hard it is, for all of us, and embrace it anyway.

It's a shame the same couldn't be said about the 'bad boy' you just allowed to live in your home for 10 days

See, you did it again.

Physopaths are nice people and good ones arent.
What the hell are you.doing????
Why are you trying to explain shit behavior..
At a Time.like This???!!!!!

Op. Do you have any mental health issues other.than post natal depression?

Because not all nice people are psychopaths are they. Imagine if they were. My.point is people like that are manipulative, they hide things, no one necessarily has seen it coming.

you are very much in denial OP. You need help before you can parent another person imo.

what do you mean you know what you will do?

there are things you could be doing now, but you arent, you are still making a million excuses.

They arent going to give him back because you veil threats about what you will do if you dont get him - he has bite marks. I think his welfare trumps yours.

And my point is not all people who have messed up or have a certain image are actually bad.

I won't be killing myself. Nope, cos how would that affect my.son. my.dad died through no ones fault but I know how that affected me and I wouldn't inflict that on him. Instead I would do everything in.the.hopes one day he would find me and I would be able to show him how kcg

Much I changed.

Are you really saying that if you don't get your son back you may kill yourself?
Tragic though that would be, it isn't an argument that I'd use. They might well be concerned that an emotionally unstable parent could kill the child first before committing suicide. If you feel suicidal, please talk to the Samaritans.

I think seeinfg the dr is very usefull OP, I would seek a referal to Mh services, I think there may be some kind of underlaying personality disorder you are suffering from. It may be usefull to have a Mh assesment.

Oh God. I'm going to have to leave This thread.

Such is my experience with this poster. This is how She is. It gets to the point that.you are banging your head against the wall in.frustration.

She hasn't changed one bit. Her son being ripped from her.side has done nothing to her.

I.could cry for that little boy.

And killing myself isn't an option. So there is no concern there.

but you have hinted at it several times through out the thread, why then do you do that if it is not really what you would do?

I am now going to seek help, try to get myself sorted, that I would say is doing something. Him being ripped from me has torn me apart but I have to be strong I have no other option. I can't just break

Really this thread is more like mn-aided self flagellation than support for the OP.

shall we have a collective banging of heads against a brick wall? OP, if you are so unsure of your judgments, why not err on the side of caution? ot sure about old mate? have a coffee in town. DO NOT INVITE HIM TO LIVE WITH YOU AND YOUR BABY. ARE YOU INSANE?

Have jumped straight to end of thread.

What's with all the full stops?

Lies and attention.

Like the op says she.doesn't drink because.of her meds. Yet there are.lots of posts on other threads about her drinking.......

Oh good.
Well, you may get your son back or you may not. You are the key person who can influence which way the situation develops and the final decisions. Couthy battled and won, as have several other contributers here. How you react and what changes you make are deciding factors.

I might think he would be better off without me, but to kill myself and leave him scarred for life wouldn't change anything. It would emotionally scar him more.

so why the thinly veiled threat then OP? what did you mean when you said you know what you will do?

look, i have no doubt in my mind at all that you love your child, but the thing is that you must recognise the harm that you have caused him? do you really not see that?

i think the important thing now is that your little boy is being looked after and cared for, where he will be safe from harm. Thats a good thing.

Why not use this breathing space to start to really examine why this happened OP?

or to be kinder, do you have any reason for your sense of boundaries to be so fragile? apart from exh?

you do need to be strong OP that is why you need to stop playing up to the expected reaction, talking about how this is leaving you feeling etc etc. You need to place your ds higher up in your priorities, you need to understand why you beahve and feel the way you do. I do strongly recomened a Mh assesment to try and understand your emotional difficulties.