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Original poster

Broken hearted over my DS

939 replies

DistressedMumHELP · 29/08/2012 22:09

Okay, i want help and reassurance really. I have name changed for this in case anyone recognises me. I was stopped and asked for an account of events yesterday after witnessing an altercation and the police officer noticed the bruise on my little boys cheek. Which i explained was where he had fallen in between the step and bench in my garden, they then noticed he has bruises on his legs around his knees, so eventually they arrested me on suspicion of ABH. I was of course a mess, but i was told at the time that it was procedure etc, so i was compliant with them, Last night i got released on police bail and was of course expecting my little boy back, but today after seeing social services they have said i cant have him returned to me. I am heart broken, i have never hurt my child on purpose, and i look after him as best as possible. Originally they were saying he didnt talk, but today in front of the social worker he was talking, and i am trying to explain that he gets shy about talking, when they say he is friendly etc. They went through all my history and i have been as open as possible with them, and i dont know what to do. They want to keep him in care and are applying for a court order on friday to do so. I plan on seeing a solicitor tomorrow, the only reason i didnt today was because i didnt leave the social services until half 5 so no where was open.

I NEED A HUG. I PROMISE I WOULD NEVER HURT HIM AND FEEL THAT JUST A FEW BRUISES HAVE TAKEN MY SON FROM ME. Sad Sad Sad

I want him home. Does anyone have any experiences? How long will it take? They said they couldnt say,

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 02/09/2012 23:42

er, 65 is hardly tottering on the edge of the grave OP. but the fact remains. at no point do you take any responsibility for your actions or inactions. to the point your child has been removed from you. do you not get it? you have fucked up andneed to do some serious work here.

TimeForMeAndDD · 02/09/2012 23:42

You need to talk to someone who will give you some straight talking and impartial advice OP, people close to you are only going to agree with you and say what they think you want to hear.

Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 02/09/2012 23:42

I left on my own. I saw the danger and knew that no matter how much I loved my husband I couldn't put my little boy (or myself) through it anymore. I had tolerated 6 years of abuse because I loved him, but when it started harming my son I left.

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watchoutforthatsnail · 02/09/2012 23:42

Oh ok....I Didnt know that.

Madam :) I.know..which was why I said.so. most are lovely. There are always bad people,where they live has little bearing, if they are awful, they are awful. Whether It's the underclass And their crimes. Or those in ' nice' areas and crime like tax avoidance, or banking scandals..... It all amounts to the same.

Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 02/09/2012 23:44

And for the record my dad wad 59 when he passed, my nan was 63 and my father in law 57 so losing family at a relatively young age is maybe something I am used to, so I am sorry if I want to be close by if something does happen

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Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 02/09/2012 23:46

I have said I need help and I will take all that's available I have messed up, I have made a lot of mistakes and I want to put them right.

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TimeForMeAndDD · 02/09/2012 23:46

What Raging and MadameD say is very true OP, I do remember your posts about the man you were dating who had been in prison for quite a serious offence. You saw nothing wrong in dating him, because 'everyone deserves a chance', or words to that effect. When you have a child the only person in your life who deserves as chance is that child, not some ex con who you barely know. Your son has to be your priority.

MadameDefarge · 02/09/2012 23:46

watch. couldnt agree more.

TimeForMeAndDD · 02/09/2012 23:49

You do need help OP. Like we have said to you previously on the other thread, you need help in working out why you feel you need a man in your life so much. You need to take time out, away from men and dating, to work on your self esteem, to work on recognising abusive relationships, so that you don't continually end up in the same situation.

WofflingOn · 02/09/2012 23:49

So thanks to the slow reveal that has taken place over the last 4 days, the picture has changed a great deal from the original post.
OP, your son is safe and being cared for, you are getting support and professional opinions on what you need to do to get your son back, and what the concerns about his welfare are. So now you need to decide if you want to make those changes, and if you love your son enough to maintain them over the next 14 or 15 years, not just talk about how you will do xyz in the future.
I'm pleased that someone was observant enough to see that there was a concern and bothered enough to investigate further. Otherwise the outcome could have been much worse.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 02/09/2012 23:49

simply taking help is not adequate, thinking about what help, asking, seeking and researching help is what you need to do.

Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 02/09/2012 23:49

And I didn't date him in the end, I took a step back and assessed it more closely. I do try not to judge people on mistakes, but some peoples mistakes are too big, everyone had a past, someone who is ill doesn't necessarily mean they are bad, using mybepilepsy I feel was unnecessary personally when I only have ever fitted during sleep and haven't had one in 5years. But there we go.

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watchoutforthatsnail · 02/09/2012 23:50

But see distressed, you just did it again. On a thread you started about being heartbroken.about your ds, when questioned why you haveht shown any normal reactions, you rebuff it by saying you talk to those.close....

And then almost make a joke about how you.should crb check your friends, like its all crazy.

It's not crazy..someone has BITTEN your SON twice!!!! TWICE.

Fucking wake up!!!!! This is not a joke. This is not funny. This is not a case to mske.light of. Your poor little boy has Been.abused.And taken away from his mother and all he knows.... And your response is to mske light of it????!!!!!

I'm.sorry, I may be wrong, but maybe It's for the best. I.hope he has someone who can give him the life he deserves.

TimeForMeAndDD · 02/09/2012 23:51

Drug users aren't all bad people. I went on a course a few years ago and came across a couple who were drug takers, and they were really lovely people. I live in social housing and I'm lovely Smile but I live near some real arse holes that aren't drug users Grin

Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 02/09/2012 23:52

I am seeking help, and will take every bit I can get myself and more besides but some help you have to be referred for so I have to ask other people ad well.

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QuintessentialShadows · 02/09/2012 23:53

I dont think you quite understand that it is not just about getting and taking help. It is not something passive that is happening to you.

It is something you have to actively do to change your life and your choices. It does not start when "help is granted", it starts now. It should have started already. YOU should have started.

watchoutforthatsnail · 02/09/2012 23:54

No you Didnt..thats s lie.
He dumped you because he found someone else and.you were gutted about.it.

I.know.this for a fact as I re read the thread.containing that incident.This afternoon.

Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 02/09/2012 23:55

I just don't see how you can always know exactly what's in a persons mind. Does anyone not.notice how psychopaths are always the really nice people, the ones who don't cause trouble, those that are friendly? Really how many times do we hear that?

I am actually starting to feel no one should be best my little boy. If he is better off elsewhere and that is decided I know what I will do, I already decided.

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TimeForMeAndDD · 02/09/2012 23:55

You took a step back because people on thread told you to, you were advised against it. There have been many things you have been advised against. You do make bad judgements and this most recent bad judgement has resulted in your son being placed in care. You have to take responsibility for your choices and your behaviours.

MadameDefarge · 02/09/2012 23:55

Enough with the broken hearted, OP,you little boy is abused and broken hearted because of you. the sooner yo get that, the sooner yu begin the journey to being allowed a precious life back in your care.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 02/09/2012 23:56

what do you have planned for your day tomorrow OP?

TimeForMeAndDD · 02/09/2012 23:58

I don't think you are looking at the other person or what is in their mind, I think you are only thinking of yourself and what you are gaining from the situation. That is why you are missing the obvious.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 02/09/2012 23:58

I am actually starting to feel no one should be best my little boy. If he is better off elsewhere and that is decided I know what I will do, I already decided.

self pitty OP, you keep making this about you.

Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 02/09/2012 23:58

And how many times after did I say it was right? How many many times? That I realised how stupid that was. And the bad boy I am still attracted to never got arrested or charged, started in building.work to make his way through uni and has now achieved his dream. Okay so he made a few mistakes at school, didn't concentrate etc but he sorted himself out.

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Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 03/09/2012 00:00

Tomorrow I see my little boy, I make my solicitors appointment, I go doctors. I come home, I eat, I clear up, I bath, I go bed.

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