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Original poster

Broken hearted over my DS

939 replies

DistressedMumHELP · 29/08/2012 22:09

Okay, i want help and reassurance really. I have name changed for this in case anyone recognises me. I was stopped and asked for an account of events yesterday after witnessing an altercation and the police officer noticed the bruise on my little boys cheek. Which i explained was where he had fallen in between the step and bench in my garden, they then noticed he has bruises on his legs around his knees, so eventually they arrested me on suspicion of ABH. I was of course a mess, but i was told at the time that it was procedure etc, so i was compliant with them, Last night i got released on police bail and was of course expecting my little boy back, but today after seeing social services they have said i cant have him returned to me. I am heart broken, i have never hurt my child on purpose, and i look after him as best as possible. Originally they were saying he didnt talk, but today in front of the social worker he was talking, and i am trying to explain that he gets shy about talking, when they say he is friendly etc. They went through all my history and i have been as open as possible with them, and i dont know what to do. They want to keep him in care and are applying for a court order on friday to do so. I plan on seeing a solicitor tomorrow, the only reason i didnt today was because i didnt leave the social services until half 5 so no where was open.

I NEED A HUG. I PROMISE I WOULD NEVER HURT HIM AND FEEL THAT JUST A FEW BRUISES HAVE TAKEN MY SON FROM ME. Sad Sad Sad

I want him home. Does anyone have any experiences? How long will it take? They said they couldnt say,

OP posts:
Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 01/09/2012 13:10

No, my little boy sleeps in his own room has done since we moved and now in big boy bed cos he was climbing out of his cot.

OP posts:
griphook · 01/09/2012 13:49

Well done op for not crying in front of your son. He must be very scared at the moment and needs you to be strong and reassure him.

What has happened to the person who was staying with you?

BuntCadger · 01/09/2012 16:31

I totally missed the bite marks posts Sad sorry I should have reread the thread sooner.

Poor boy. Glad contact went well. I do understand now why the police and SS took the action they did. It is right and it's imperative you work with them. Do you know who bit him? And when? I'd be beyond angry, not only did some utter fucking low life bite a defenceless little 2 year old boy, the little boy has gone through the trauma of being taken from his mummy SadAngry.

PedanticPanda · 01/09/2012 18:21

Do you think then that it's a possibility that the person staying with you has maybe been hurting him while you've been sleeping in another room? Maybe hitting, biting him etc?

I've no idea how someone can bring themselves to hurt a child like that though Sad

Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 01/09/2012 21:26

I have no idea who has bitten him. I made sure the police made him leave. And no contact. Dropped their stuff at the police station. I am being strong in front of him without him there I crumble

When I find out I will torture them make sure justice is done.

OP posts:
Original poster
DistressedMumHELP · 01/09/2012 21:29

And angry doesn't cover it. More like a volcano erupting than angry but if I react and do something stupid then I only look worse, no matter how much I want to so justice myself.

OP posts:
SchoolAnxiety · 01/09/2012 21:35

Did you not notice the bite mark though?

I mean, I dress and undress my kids each day and, even though neither of them spend large periods of times away from me, I still check them... for rashes, or scratches or bruises. spots etc.,

my kids went through a phase of biting each other (they are very close in age) but I always knew when and how a mark had occured.

I don't really see how you could not notice (or react to) a bite on your 2YO. Surely, there are only a limited number of people with access to him?

I really hope you get this sorted, as it sounds horrific. I can't even get my head around sending my kids to school. the idea of being separated from them must be terrible, but I have to admit, I don't understand how you could not notice a noticable (for it must have been for SS to see it) bite mark on your child.

GhouliaYelps · 01/09/2012 21:40

OP you say you never leave your DS alone with anyone other that to go into the kitchen (I think you said) but how then would your child have an adult bite mark that you didn't know about? He would have cried out in immense pain and shock and would have been distrustful of whomever did this to him.

I'm sorry but as the posts go along I see you have not picked up on massive red flags in the life of your child.

PedanticPanda · 01/09/2012 22:27

But surely you must have some idea? You're the one who is with him all day, you must know who has been in contact with him. When my son was 2 I knew everyone he came in contact With. You only leave him alone for a few minutes at a time during the day, and are with him the rest of the time so unless it is happening in these short periods then it must happen at night time when you sleep in another room for 8 hours a night.

You have another man staying with you who you've admitted has turned out to be someone you didn't really know. Is this the only other person in contact with your son?

The police removed the man after the bite mark was mad, so it's pretty obvious that this man could be the one who has hurt your child.

EleanorHandbasket · 01/09/2012 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NCForNow · 01/09/2012 23:07

People have to sleep Ghoulia No point trying to put the OP through a cross examination you know. This is MN...not the law.

She's here for advice and support...

BuntCadger · 01/09/2012 23:09

Eleanor is that true? Sad I posted some really painful stuff to support.

Noqontrol · 01/09/2012 23:28

Op, I think you need to get this thread deleted. Move over to the safe place if you still want support, but it concerns me how easily this could be found by a google search. Which is not what you need right now.

clam · 01/09/2012 23:30

Well, it goes without saying that I (or any sane reasonable adult) have no idea how anyone could bite a child, but I can't understand how such a thing could have happened within a timeframe of the few minutes of you, say, putting the kettle on (or whenever it was). Or why you wouldn't have heard him squealing in pain and fear. How could any situation escalate to such an extreme of your little boy being bitten?

Cynner · 01/09/2012 23:33

Noqontrol I agree with you. Looking for support is a very natural instinct in this situation, but this type of oversharing may not be in OPs best interest. This is, of course just my opinion, but I do have concerns.

Noqontrol · 02/09/2012 00:07

I've asked MNHQ to delete or move it. Hopefully they will understand that this thread will do the op no favours if it is found by one of the professionals working on this case.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 02/09/2012 00:16

I really dont think it is down to any other posters to ask for the thread to be moved or deleted. I think the Op has had some great advice and this is a very informative thread to show all the social services and police bashers out there how the proccess of protecting children works.

I can assure you any proffessionals involved in the Op are not sweeping the internet for info on her. they are too busy trying to work out what will be best for her ds.

She has not disclosed anything else that she says she has not told the police or social workers about so any info here has well and truelly been what the OP wants to post, she has obviously not told everything on this thrtead either that is for sure.

Noqontrol · 02/09/2012 00:24

Meh, you come across this stuff by accident when you're looking for other sruff enthusiaatic. i've done my time as a CP social worker, you assurances are not reassuring. Maybe I shouldn't have asked for it to be moved, but as someone that uses the internet a lot, in work or out, I felt it would be safer for the op. I make no apologies.

Noqontrol · 02/09/2012 00:25

Sorry for spelling your name wrong. Fat fingers.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 02/09/2012 00:37

Meh Confused well like i said it makes no difference as op has not incriminated her self in any way, she has posted what she wants along the lines of what info the police and social workers already know.

any social worker reading a forum and then rteading a fairly predicatable story regarding child protection would maybe read and think oh that sounds pretty similar to X, they would not gain an awfull lot from it and be able to use it against her or to influence thier judgement. They know this mother well anyway.

If you are concerned maybe it would be better placed to request the couple of posts that have vaguely outed her and added some extra info that OP has not herself put out there.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 02/09/2012 00:38

ha ha thats ok. I did not notice.

watchoutforthatsnail · 02/09/2012 07:22

Clam, the op states,when asked about the bite, that her ds always cries when she shuts the stairgate to go into the kitchen, and that she did investigate his screams, but he stopped when he saw her.

Obviously this doesn't add up.
If a two year old was unexpectedly bitten by an adult, hard enough to leave bite marks and a bruise that lasted a good few hours, then It's highly unlikley the child woyidnt be screaming in pain. It's also unlikely the child would instantky stop crying upon seeing his mother.

Unless of course he has learnt not to cry as it has a bad result/ gets no attention.

It just doesn't add up.

Also, if it was this other man. Was he causing other abuse to her ds. To go from nothing to a random hard bite on a childs shoulder while the mother makes a cup of tea, well, thats quite strange.

I expect there is more to This than we know..

watchoutforthatsnail · 02/09/2012 07:24

And what's this hidden place? Ive been on mn 6 years and have no idea what you mean...

StormGlass · 02/09/2012 07:28

watchoutforthatsnail, might be best not to ask for directions on a sensitive thread in case someone who might use information on this thread against the OP has stumbled on this thread by accident?

watchoutforthatsnail · 02/09/2012 07:32

No, it was just a general question... Could someone pm me?

I don't know if its hidden, ive found it by threads I'm on....