looking after my grandon full time

[alycia]

hi everyone im new on here but wanted a rant moan someone to listen im 32 got 3 girls 17 6 and 3 my eldest daughter has got a 9month old son my grandson who i adore i love him 2 bits ive been looking after him full time for 3 weeks now she doesnt want to bring him up so social services are going to get a residence order for him to live with me my daughter sees him 3 times a week for a few hours but never over night my grandson goes to his dads every weekend my daughter and dad arnt together no more i love my daughter but cannot understand why she doesnt want her son im filling up with tears im going to be his carer but i have 2 little ones my self its hard work and im so tired not much money am i doin the right thing will it get to much for me im sruggling my self at times for money his dad doesnt pay for him is anyone in the same boat as me would like advice thanks and thanks for letting me ramble on if any one has baby boys clothes bundles for him id appreciate that 3 6 months 6 9months 9 12 months thanks so much im willing to pay i have everything else for him but clthes would keep me going for a while thanks again

it sounds like social services are already involved and think that the babe will be better off with the OP?

well done alycia for putting the needs of the baby first. You will need extra help of course but it sounds like you might get a support worker to help so that sounds good. Go to your local childrens centre - they will be able to help you access loads of stuff, as will the HV.

Definitely go on freecycle for baby clothes, there are always loads on there.

I would say to your daughter that you will, of course, take care of your grandson but for his sake there does need to be consistency and continuity, he can't be passed backwards and forwards depending on how she feels. I would also say that taking him is conditional on your daughter having long acting contraception put in place, ie a 5 year implant or coil, and I would go with her to the appointment. But that's just me.

He's lucky to have you, and well done. I'm sorry a couple of the early responses on here were so twatty.

you sound like a very caring granmother and thank god the little babe has you

sadly these types of situations are all to common and grandma has to pick up the pieces

it dosent sound like your daughter wants to bring her son up at all and sounds pretty spoilt imo,your bringing her son up,she has her own flat,not working etc

she should financially be supporting her son as well as the birth father (atleast he is taking care at weekends) more than your daughter is

i think its all to easy for her but i do understand you do not want your grandson to suffer,i also dont think its good for your grandson to have his mother dipping in and out like this

i know my comments arent very helpful and i admire what your doing but i do think you need to think about the future and whats best for you,your children and grandson

i wish you all the best

I would put an advert in your local super market or other places with free advertising space. Something like:

Do you have any spare boy's clothes size 6-9 months which you are willing to donate? I would love to have them for my grandson. Thank you very much. Tel .......

thanks everyone for the relplys and advice ill take everything on boardx