looking after my grandon full time

[alycia]

hi everyone im new on here but wanted a rant moan someone to listen im 32 got 3 girls 17 6 and 3 my eldest daughter has got a 9month old son my grandson who i adore i love him 2 bits ive been looking after him full time for 3 weeks now she doesnt want to bring him up so social services are going to get a residence order for him to live with me my daughter sees him 3 times a week for a few hours but never over night my grandson goes to his dads every weekend my daughter and dad arnt together no more i love my daughter but cannot understand why she doesnt want her son im filling up with tears im going to be his carer but i have 2 little ones my self its hard work and im so tired not much money am i doin the right thing will it get to much for me im sruggling my self at times for money his dad doesnt pay for him is anyone in the same boat as me would like advice thanks and thanks for letting me ramble on if any one has baby boys clothes bundles for him id appreciate that 3 6 months 6 9months 9 12 months thanks so much im willing to pay i have everything else for him but clthes would keep me going for a while thanks again

so sorry thought it was lol sorry again i have spoke to s services and they just say hes better off with me and if i need or want a support worker they will put one in place for me

Do you think maybe she could have post natal depression?

not sure how im meant to be with my daughter i love her but not sure what to say to her

thankyou i need to brush up on my writing skills i think lol thanks again i love them both she wont go to the doctor

i think a suport worker for you would be a very good thing.
you obviously feel put upon but torn about the situation.

Sorry, I didn't mean you alycia.

Your daughter is lucky to have you.

When she's at yours, does she look after the baby?

Has she said she doesn't want to bring him up, did she give a reason?

I agree, they're very lucky to have you.

when she comes to mine she looks after him or she takes him out she has stated she doesnt want to bring him up full time as its to hard

Nice, newcomer to mn for advice and the first post is about punctuation I managed to read it fine.

Op second the suggestions to try charity shops, ebay, boot sales, freecycle. Am sure there is a For Free board on here aswell, maybe check that out? I might have a few bits n bobs, nowt special but might do you for a while, will have a check when Ds has his nap.

Because Sheffield has a high rate of teenage pregnancy, are there social groups and services your daughter could go to with her son? Meeting up with other teenagers who have babies might make her more confident and willing to recognise that this baby isn't just going to disappear and that being a parent is something she needs to learn more about.
It might give her supportive friends who are in a similar situation.

i dont really like authorities to be involved i try to do it all on my own really

Alycia, I'm sorry I don't have much advice but you're supporting your daughter so well as other posters have said. I had my DS at 17 and I couldn't have done it without a lot of support from family, immediate and extended. As others have said, it's a good thing she's seeing him. Have social work suggested getting support workers in place?

Alycia, I don't think the remark about being snotty was aimed at you, rather the posters who are pulling you up on your punctuation.

But speak to the sw dealing with your case about what help is available in your area. I'm pretty sure the dad should pay something towards his child regardless of whether he has him at weekends. It might only be a few pounds a week, tho' if he is not working.

Are there Surestart or nct centres near you (sorry, not in the UK, so I'm not really sure what is available there). Otherwise, I second yahoo an freecycle. I got a good chunk of my baby things through the equivalents here.

Good luck

She's very young. I appreciate you were younger, but perhaps you were more mature?

I know I was all over the place at 17.

In your position I'm not sure what you can do except encourage contact between your daughter and grandson and encourage a good relationship between them. She will hopefully change her mind over time.

Is there any chance that you could all live together?

hi thanks so much i no my writing and everything isnt very good thanks for listening any bits would be great

she wont go to any groups

Is he a big 9 mo? Just realised my Ds is 9 mo so all the stuff I've got spare is more 3-6 month, if he's a bit of a tiddler they may fit.

You are such a good person to take on your grandson. Try free cycle for clothes, my local one regularly has posts giving baby stuff away.

alycia please don't worry about your writing. It's not hard to understand what you mean.

Anyone who criticises your writing is an insufferable snob and should be ignored!!

no i havent got enough room for us all and she just wants to live with her boyfriend

The local fb for sale pages are another good source of cheap baby stuff.

hes still in 3 6 months clothes hes only smallx

thank you and ill have a lookx

thanks ill have a browsex