'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

[Enid]

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

im a sahm and i love it and my dh works 13 hrs a day

does the ivy or harvey nicks have a creche? lol

Oh yes summer much better for both learning to ride a bike and potty training. Just concerned with the idea of daring to take DS's stabilisers off.

i work part time

but also have very supportive (most of the time) dh who is back home at 6pm every day

I chose wisely

change the record

Message withdrawn

nope

lucky cow arent I

hijack

beety was it you who started the thread about your elderly aunt? did she get some help? how is she? ive just been wondering, is all...

Ah, that's clearly where I went wrong - not choosing H with enough care & attention!!! Reeling from the implied body blow there Enid! Just as well I'm not a delicate petal.
Better drown my sorrows at being such an inadequate husband chooser at the mercifully creche-free Ivy!!!!

nailpolish, yes it was(my gret aunt). she went in to a nursing home for a couple of weeks . and is now back at home with an electric chair

I must call my aunt (rather than great aunt) and see if they found any help. I posted all the suggestions to her...Btw ds3 posted ehr a valentines card

Oi can one of you yummy mummy harvey nick shoppers lend your hired help to me for the day. Am trying to get ds3 to sleep but ds1 keeps going off on one (he's just given himself a nosebleed because I had taken the calender down (which was a stupid thing to do, but I had to book a appointment to interview furture help). It would have helped if when screaming he's pointed at the missing calendar spot on the wall, rather than in the other direction, but still.

Lockets I think you are missing the point. Yep there are the extreme mums as Enid describes, but not that many of them, only know 1, but most people get help because they need it. Usually not because of the way they are, or the type of person they are, but because of their situation. If I met a Mum of 3 who said that she didn't need/want/or like any help I wouldn't assume anything other than she had passive or easy kids. 3 ds2's would be a piece of piss, because he is a very easy child. I don't think I would need any help with 3 of him, unless I had to do a lot of ferrying around. 3 of either ds1 or ds3 (who I hope is NT- so it's not just to do with SN) would be a complete nightmare. 2 years ago I dind't need any help, now I do, nothing about me has changed, but our situation has changed.

Right well I'm still no closer to getting ds3 to sleep (hiding on the computer typting normally lulls him off) as ds1 is now singing sitting in front of him eating biscuits, having opened the curtains I'd shut to get him off. Any tips from the non-help hirers will be acted upon.

thats great beetroot. hope they have got something for the long term sorted out

ds3 sounds like he has been brought up beautifully perfect for my dd's

oh its the only thing I can show off about

to get a life where I live in teh countryside with MIL near and a dh who is home at 6 I had to give up fab job and all friends in London and move down here with a bunch of gumbies

and he had a nanny while I had a manicure

Have to say, I think there can be a small distinction twixt SAHM and a housewife! Well, that's my excuse to dh! I think I'm a very good full time mum but a very very bad housewife, IYSWIM.

I did a (modest blush) fantastic job in entertaining and stimulating the kiddies (in between farting around in MN and having coffee with friends, natch)and I usually managed a meal on the table, groceries in the cupboard and clean socks etc for the family, but everything else slid rather a lot (cupboards full of crap, horrid fridge etc) Oh, I also had an allotment which helped feed us and was on the rota at preschool every week, and did volunteer work (which I took baby too when older dd was at preschool)

I now work part time but if I had had the money when the kids were tiny, I would have had a cleaner like a shot, just to keep on top of things. In fact, I'd have one now!

We are going to have a nanny when we go on holiday.

The kids will get twice as much attention and I will be free to have lots of loving with my dh. It is quite expensive on a cost per shag basis but it will be well worth it.

I'll be your nanny Trice, (could do with a nice holiday)
Then I'll come back on MN and 'sell' alll your saucy secrets...

i have a friend who is a nanny to a couple who are always trotting off to exotic locations (i have no idea what he does) just now they are in Austria. the mother doesnt work, they have a private tutor so never go to school.

she gets paid a fortune, considering she doesnt have to pay any bills, rent, gets a clothes allowance too.

shes says its really hard work, but the mother is fab and they have a great time ski-ing when the children are at school

i think a new career may be looming for me

I know you didn't say that lockets (but others have) - what I mean is that you are equating not wanting help with being the type of person you are- I'm saying whether or not someone wants help often has far more to do with thier situation than their personality/ability/coping or whatver. I don't know whether you will want help in the future or not; I suspect it will depend on how easy it is to meet the needs of your 3 children as they get older. one thing I didn't predict was how difficult ds3 walking is because it means he never wants to sit in a buggy/get strapped into a car seat or go in his play pen. That makes it a pain to even take him and ds2 somewhere at the moment (because he has to sit in the buggy), without even adding ds1 into the equation. Sure I can do it, but he's howling, and how much nicer to leave him at home and take ds2 out somewhere.

NP
I used to ski w/a former nurse who left nursing to become a nanny b/c the pay and conditions were so much better.

Without Bad Mums like me who have childcare because we WANT not NEED it, and Bad Dads like my husband who rarely gets home before 9.00 pm, what would the Good Mums have to feel smug about? I am wearing two hair shirts at the moment.

is it possible to be a jet setting nanny with a dh and 2 children i wonder?

How was golf this morning, Poppa. Awfully cold, I'll bet, but worth it! My dad played St. Andrew's Old Course in November w/a 7AM teetime and loved every second!

Id have a full time cleaner any day. But not a full time nanny, I had kids to spend time with them, as and when I'm able to.