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Original poster

'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

906 replies

Enid · 21/02/2006 09:51

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

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pouchofdouglas · 22/02/2006 10:12

Message withdrawn

muma3 · 22/02/2006 10:13

of course there is a reason that most work and as i have said there are exceptions to having childcare and having to go back to work

i think we have all go off the rails on this one

Caligula · 22/02/2006 10:13

LOL at hairy ladygardens

Yuk on a Wednesday morning

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WideWebWitch · 22/02/2006 10:14

lol enid
Issymum, I know why, in a capitalist society, big business is generally considered useful, but I suppose I meant that none of it is that important really in a kind of hippy dippy the planet's dying and we are all fiddling around not worrying about carbon emmissions and global warming kind of way. I'm not putting this very well, a friend's brother died of lung cancer at the age of 44 a week ago and I went somewhere where we didn't really buy anything and it made me stop and question my consumerist values. I think as a society we've probably got our values all totally wrong.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2006 10:14

PPH
I have no nanny. I even have to WOH. BUT, honestly, highlights - well, I have lowlights as well - are a MUST.

My arse is only slim b/c I walk 25 miles a week to and from work b/c I hate Lothian buses.

Issymum · 22/02/2006 10:16

WWW: Ah! I completely get your point of view. I thought we were just heading off into Classic MNet Debate #25 : It can't be right that investment bankers are paid more than nurses.

katyp · 22/02/2006 10:16

I don't think anyone is saying that sahms shouldn't have help if they NEED it, due to SNs, ages of kids, etc. or even to have some time to themselves. What Enid and others (including me) find it hard to emphatise with are those mothers who don't seem to want to spend ANY time looking after their kids - it does seem to be related to wealth/class - maybe it's a throwback to the days when the upper classes had their kids looked after by a nanny at the other end of the house and the kids were only brought to the parents for an hour or so each day (or else packed off to boarding school at the age of 4). Maybe these mothers have never experienced any other way of bringing up children? It is just my personal opinion but I wouldn't have kids myself if I wasn't prepared to have a significant imput into their upbringing.

WideWebWitch · 22/02/2006 10:16

So, back to hairy ladygardens, sorry for momentary lapse of judgement on mood of thread

nailpolish · 22/02/2006 10:17

this thread has reminded me of some article i read ages ago about how in america they have special folk to teach their children to swim, ride a bike, potty train etc

WideWebWitch · 22/02/2006 10:17

ha ha issymum, re bankers and nurses, no, wasn't going down that road!

Caligula · 22/02/2006 10:18

ha ha ha this thing of childcare you need is OK, but childcare you want is bad bad bad.

Where's my hairshirt? I seem to have mislaid it, do they have them at Harvey Nicks?

expatinscotland · 22/02/2006 10:18

'how in america they have special folk to teach their children to swim, ride a bike, potty train etc '

They have 'em here, too. In fact, they have 'em everywhere where someone has the money to pay for someone to perform any task.

nailpolish · 22/02/2006 10:20

ive heard, obv, of swimming teachers but who the hell would hire someone to come in and teach their child to ride a bike, let alone potty train them

iota · 22/02/2006 10:20

well ipaid for my ds1 to have swimming lessons - is that amother black mark?

Caligula · 22/02/2006 10:20

My friend did my DS's potty training.

I couldn't be arsed.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2006 10:20

Caligula!
We're gonna be RICH! Rich enough to afford nannies we don't really need. A hairshirt for non-virtuous mums. What a terrific idea. We can create them w/different hairs depending on the infraction - not breastfeeding for 2 years, working outside the home, wanting 'ME' time, driving a 4x4, driving to the school run, feeding them out of jars or non organic, made from scratch foods, McDonalds patrons, etc.

iota · 22/02/2006 10:21

and nursery potty trained my kids (mostly)

WideWebWitch · 22/02/2006 10:21

God, I want the number of potty training person, I'm so not looking forward it it

nailpolish · 22/02/2006 10:22

i actually enjoyed potty training dd1 !!

it was summer and she just spent all day running around the garden butt naked

expectingsummerihope · 22/02/2006 10:27

potty training a piece of piss (pardon the pun)compared to clearing up adult urine and faeces which I do for a living - not to mention the occasional threats from patients that they will wipe my face in it

Bozza · 22/02/2006 10:29

This is supposed to be the summer that DD is potty trained and DS learns to ride a bike. I have much higher expectations of success with less stress with DD than DS.

Caligula · 22/02/2006 10:33

I trained DD - she was much easier than DS so I didn't need friend to do it.

Caligula · 22/02/2006 10:33

It's all right in summer

pouchofdouglas · 22/02/2006 10:36

Message withdrawn

Bugsy2 · 22/02/2006 10:37

anyone else for a light salad at the Ivy today? Regular table is booked for 6 glamourous, carefree, rich & idle mummies!
Love this thread. Find it fascinating the so many mums think that unless you are doing all your own childcare you are lazy and not enjoying "quality time" with your children.
Be interested to know who many of those who love being at home with the children all the time have supportive dh/dp's who don't work long hours?

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