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Original poster

'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

906 replies

Enid · 21/02/2006 09:51

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

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Caligula · 21/02/2006 13:35

I want to be able to swim as well when I go to the swimming pool though. Can't do that without another adult present.

lockets · 21/02/2006 13:36

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nailpolish · 21/02/2006 13:36

i cant imagine being in the house with the children and a nanny. it would have to be a massive house so i could hide

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nailpolish · 21/02/2006 13:37

i go swimming on my own in the evenings or weekend

foxinsocks · 21/02/2006 13:38

but maybe the nannies are there to give the mum a break

some people work to escape being at home 7 days a week - some people don't work but have a nanny to give them some escape time

Caligula · 21/02/2006 13:38

Well I would too if I had another adult to look after them.

motherinferior · 21/02/2006 13:39

It would be fabulous to go swimming in the day.

harpsichordcarrier · 21/02/2006 13:39

no I wouldn't like it, not one tiny bit
I think it would be disruptive to have an employee here and having to think about another adult's needs etc
also would be much less flexible e.g. going round to see friends etc
that's my choice though
wouldn't want the hassle of emplying someone either esp if they didn't do things how I would like them done
no contest for me

Caligula · 21/02/2006 13:40

LOL at the idea of hiding from the nanny - who are you thinking of employing? The mad woman from the hand that rocks the cradle?

krabbiepatty · 21/02/2006 13:40

Our inner millionaires could write great works of literature too, mi. I met a sahm once who had three nannies (am hoping thsi is a record) - one each child, one at night. She gave great kids' parties...

Bugsy2 · 21/02/2006 13:40

What I don't get either is, how do you manage to spend so much time with your children and get all the other jobs done too? I am endlessly trying to be as efficient & organised as possible with my time but there is never quite enough of it to go around. I must say "in a minute" about 100 times a day, as I am always trying to do something when I should be "playing"!

Caligula · 21/02/2006 13:41

hee hee MI, that's what I'm going to do as soon as my lunch is digested. Am skiving from work - spent so much time arsing about on Mumsnet that I may as well just not bother trying to work today!

foxinsocks · 21/02/2006 13:42

swimming in the day is overrated

lots of OAPs who clog up all the swimming lanes and chat to each other the whole way down

krabbiepatty · 21/02/2006 13:43

probably if you were affording the nanny, you could also afford swanky club with no OAPs darkening its doors...

Caligula · 21/02/2006 13:43

I will report back on whether the pool is crowded with unwelcome OAPs

motherinferior · 21/02/2006 13:44

Yes, but it's the 'constant snatched bits of time' element of parenthood it would be so very nice not to have to contend with and/or embrace as a proud Emblem of Parenthood. I am reasonably good at fitting everything together. But I wish, quite often, that I had the leeway not to have to do so.

motherinferior · 21/02/2006 13:44

I would go to fabulous exclusive women's health club and swim naked, I reckon.

Greensleeves · 21/02/2006 13:44

I could never have a stranger in my home looking after my children and clearing up our mess... I've somehow never got my head round the idea of having servants.

nailpolish · 21/02/2006 13:44

i would have to hide form her because i would feel so guilty!

if she was doing a jigsaw on the floor with dd's and i walked past on my way to the kitchen for another choccie biscuit - horror of horrors!

and what do you do if the children ask you to join in? say "oh no thats what i pay the nanny for" or "when i finished the article in heat im reading"

lol

Caligula · 21/02/2006 13:45

Yes, one where they give you a towel and a robe when you walk in so you don't have to bother bringing your own.

And I'd always sit in the jacuzzi afterwards, on principle.

pinkmagic1 · 21/02/2006 13:45

What is the point in having children if you are just going to dump them off with a nanny when you don't even work? I think women like this just have children to keep up with the jones. Sorry if this offends anyone.
If I could afford it I would certainally employ a cook, cleaner and gardener but a nanny, never.

foxinsocks · 21/02/2006 13:45

ah yes, my local pool is council run one with special OAP rate to keep them fit

nailpolish · 21/02/2006 13:46

true true foxinsocks

when i ws YF and S i saw all these oldies

full make up, blue rinse bone dry, glasses on swimming around. god forbid you entered their lane

krabbiepatty · 21/02/2006 13:46

GS, I have a nanny (work fulltime in unsociable way). My greatest fear used to be having someone in my home, possibly spying a pair of dirty pants or something else horribly personal. And then you just get over it...

Caligula · 21/02/2006 13:46

No you could sabotage the jigsaw while she wasn't looking, and then come and put it right so that kids htink nanny is rubbish at doing jigsaws and mummy is the bees knees.

Then she'd get angry with you and resign.