'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

[Enid]

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

no i definatly think they are lazy , irresponsible and most of all missing out on the beautiful things that they obviously have the money to stay at home with but give to someone else to enjoy

am i really on my own thinking this?

I am at exactly the time of my life when I would like to take every easy option going for me - and it is sheer envy of people who can fritter away money on multiple nannies that makes me scoff and say 'oh for heavens sake, how unnecessary'!

I do enjoy my job, I very much enjoy al the time I spoend with DS, but I would love to be able to do what i want, in my own time, without financial worry. It's never going to happen - but don't wish to be TOO judgemental on thiose that can enjoy that, as it might come my way if my premium bond comes up.

There is so much I would love to DO if I had time and liberty!

I'd agree with you muma if you knew that that definitely is what happens. But we don't really have any idea what these mothers do with their kids, do we?

I don't have a dishwasher OR a microwave

I work 3 days and run the house as well

My children can be huge PITA's but I offload to MIL as and when for sanity

Would HATE to have staff whether cleaners, gardeners, au pairs, nanny or whatever

Methinks we have all gone soft demanding 'me time' etc

well then, olive, when you win the lottery, would you be willing to hire some staff for me? cuz i think it's the bee's knees.

God yes. Give me John the gardener over a MIL any day.

liking the when on the lottery win, expat, liking it a lot, bring it ON.

When I win the lottery I will hire all the staff in the world (to do nothing) and leave you all to suffer heh heh hehehahhahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I do caligula

and I can promise you it is like that

have been to houses and left to have tea with kids and nanny

I have scanned this thread and I see no consideration about whether or not people who hire 'staff' have family support.

Some of us do not have the option to 'offload' to anyone...

Yours, bitter & twisted,
FB

I have posted a thread for you Enid

Have a shufti, you look fab!

I'm with Blu on this, I think.

When I see these women - they look great, they're happy (or seem it), they're not weighed down by the tedious aspects of being a parent or having a lovely home, their kids seem well adjusted etc. Why shouldn't they hire in help if they want it and can afford it?

When I'm brutally honest with myself, I know that I feel a bit (whisper) envious of their freedom and glamour and ability to enjoy themselves, and I must be careful not to cast myself as the self sacrificing martyr who must do it all.

Amen, Early! Electric eyelash curlers for everyone.

well put, earlybird.

I think they are detached from reality

what's martyrish about looking after your children??
yes to cleaner
yes to gardener
but looking after your own children isn;t drudgery. surely?

it was yesterday harpsi

x

no it isnt always

they are scared of it IMO

If I could easily afford it I would have a full-time nanny and a housekeeper and a gardener and a chauffeur and a personal trainer and a personal secretary. And since I was running the show I would find the right balance between spending time with my children, enjoying time alone with my husband, pursuing my own interests and dabbling in a little light charity work. I'm sorry but I think all you 'I need to muck out my own kids to feel fulfilled' mothers are completely barking. A fully-staffed life sounds fabulous. And of course I would be hectically busy because somebody has to manage all those staff.

they are detached from reality in the same way that we are here in the uk because we don't live in say darfur...

i don't think there's anything less "real" about being well off - maybe i'll find out for myself one day

full time childcare while you're at home...sounds fabulous...and if you get it right recreates the scenario we used to have with lots of lovely women milling about keeping each other company and allowing each other to do things other than look after the kid the whole time....or maybe not....but i do think that you could have a nanny and be a v involved mother that loved her kids....

oliveoil
aha
bad day then....

god yes, issymum, wonderful.

if I wanted to do something during the day and I needed to leave my children with someone I would MUCH rather leave them with a friend than someone I was paying for
and no I don;t have relatives within 120 miles of here

What's so bloody great about reality Enid?

I own up, I'm a SAHM with one child in pre-school 4 mornings a week, and one in nursery one day week. I have a cleaner, gardener and ironer. I am bloody lucky. But it's not all perfect. as somebody suggested I have v. little support from my dh as he is so busy earning the money to make these things possible- and whilst we would both prefer to have a better work life balance for him it's just not possible in his industry. And I do think that I am a beter parent for being able to enjoy the time I have with my children more because I don't have a million and one other things to do.