'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

[Enid]

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

Oh Enid, hair straightening isn't doing nothing. It's a highly technical operation, requiring intense concentration.

I was furious when we had to start reading stories about yobby kids instead of Biff and Chip

must say i would love a cleaner!

Exactly, I should be working. And swimming.

sorry but that

" But, they also coordinate complicated family lives and essentially act as their husband's PA. For example, several acquaintances are currently supervising extensive renovations of a new house (choosing all fixtures/fittings/paints/furniture/etc)."

makes me insane

it is possible to do that without having bloody childcare fgs

I did

Message withdrawn

It's possible, but why bother?

It's possible to not have a dishwasher as well, and wash up instead, but why not choose the easier option?

cos it costs

it's apparently possible to go w/o shampoo as well, but again, why?

I think perhaps I am just superwoman

i think that is what it is all about - taking the easier option but imo that just isnt right when it comes to your own children . why look after them when someone else can fgs they are your children !!!! . doesnt really compare to the simple thngs like housework or gardening really does it?

who said dishwasher! i can't wait to have my dishwasher fitted! role on the wedding so my pil get the dishwasher

Hiya, I am a SAHM with twin 3 year old boys; up until a month ago I had a live out nanny to help (4.5 days per week). My husband works long hours and I have NO family support whatsoever. My nanny helped me by giving me one afternoon "off" per week, and cooking and cleaning for the children. She was also there to help me take them to classes where you had to take one adult per child. She helped to keep me sane and her presence meant that if I was ill my husband did not have to take time off from his oh so important work. I never dumped my children with her and it actually meant that they had a much more relaxed mummy and I could play with them while she did the drudge jobs.

Now they are in nursery school in the mornings I no longer need her and I get to do the drudge jobs all by myself!! I don't regret having her for one minute but it is also nice to be going it alone now, and to save all that money .

would hate to think I had got through life by taking all the easy options

am terrible Puritan

well i was a child who had nannies, muma. and i'm well-adjusted, confident, happy and fairly normal. i don't feel resentful at all or that my mum was lazy or didn't love me or fobbed me off.

not a bit.

But my mum didn't have a dishwasher and a washing machine or a car etc. I have, and they cost money.

Am I taking the easy option? You bet I am. If I had the money I'd take a few more too Where do you draw the line on easy options?

me too - but my mother was a single parent and needed the money
back to OP she doesnt need to have childcare when sahm
imo children should spend as much time with parents as possible . if you have to work you have to work. if you have a child with special needs and no family -ok
but to stay at home have 2 nannies and do nothing with your life is wrong.
didnt say that these parents dont love their children its just lack of responsibility imo

good point tinygang- where do you draw the line? give kids to a nanny just becasue you can or need ya roots doing?

imo children should spend as much time with parents as possible . if you have to work you have to work. if you have a child with special needs and no family -ok
but to stay at home have 2 nannies and do nothing with your life is wrong.
didnt say that these parents dont love their children its just lack of responsibility imo

Glad not everyone shares this opinion. Cuz I think it's smug, sanctimonious and just plain silly.

There's a lot worse a parent can do than have nannies when they don't work outside the home.

you do whatever you feel comfortable with

tinygang

I would hope women who are at home all day yet have full time childcare would draw the line at their own children!

trye there is expat but isnt that what this thread is about?

god yes

THEY feel totally comfortable with it

only me that thinks they are lazy empty people

I think you're assuming that these women just "hand over" their children to the nannies and then don't see them.

I wouldn't personally have a nanny if I was a SAHM because I agree with whoever said that they get jittery about having their employer around the house all day, but having something like a mother's help would be wonderful.

Nobody says "FGS why are you sending your child to school, they're your kids, educate them yourself, spend time with them, you lazy wazzock"

I really don't think anyone would go without extra help - be that a nursery/creche/au pair/mothers help/nanny - if they could easily afford it.

I can't say I'd rate highly a mother who wasn't involved in regular paid or voluntary work, who employed a nanny and spent very little time with their children. More like the Victorian idea of having children 'just for show'. They only want to see the children when they are clean, well-rested, fed and happy and don't want to be involved in many parts of their children's lives at all.