Am I the only parent who won't allow an xbox, DS or playstation in the house?

[MINIBondGirl]

Am I being unrealistic in this issue as I only know a very few parents who feel the same? Having seen other children playing on them (sometimes looking like zombies and getting headaches) I am really put off. I know some parents restrict usage and don't allow unsuitable games but a lot don't.

As my boys are 4 & 7 I would rather they played outside, used their imaginations and concentrated on school for now.

Realistic or not?

Of course, as a parent it's your right to not let your children have these things if you don't want them. Children don't need these toys and plenty of children don't have them.

However, I would question the false dichotomy in you post - you seem to assume that children will either have electronic toys or they will play outside. Why can't they do both?

My daughters (8 &5) have unrestricted access to: wii, Nintendo DS, iPad and iPods. But I would lay money on the fact that my children are more active than yours. Dd1 does 12 hours of gymnastics plus 2 hours of dancing a week - 14 hours of organised sport a week. And her favourite toy at home? The trampoline.

In my experience, once the initial excitement of the electronic toy has worn off, they are largely unplaced with - the wii hasn't been played with this year yet, and the DSs sit in a box gathering dust. The iPods are used - but only for short periods. My children get bored with them quickly and prefer to play gymnastics, made up games and the like. However, the one thing I do encourage the iPods for - spelling and multiplication tests. It's about the only way I can get her to sit down and do it (usually getting her to just sit down is an achievement!).

In my experience, it's not the toy that's problematic - its how they're used (or abused) that causes the strife.

Ds saved up for nearly a year for an x box when he was 12.
He goes on it for about 3 hours a week...plays football, cricket, golf.
Always out with his friends.
He only has football/sport based games...certainly no COD.

Th wii is never used.

Hear Hear Mrs Letch!

We've made the choice of never having gaming in our home, I don't agree with them. They're great if they being used as family fun though I I
imagine. My youngest girl is 99% Screen free though and watches an hour per week, my older girl at 7 has just started to watch half an hour about three times a week once her sister is in bed. It's nice snuggle time for us! I think with boys it can be harder though as they might relate to friends through gaming.

interesting poppy just wondering why you made this decision not criticising at all just wondering

I understand why time spent on these items is restricted and controlled. However, surely this makes them even more expensive. £200 on a toy that can only be used for an hour a week/in holidays/on a sunday afternoon makes less sense finncially than a £200 toy which DCs can use freely any time they want.

Imnotmymum, it happened four years ago when my youngest girl could not/would not play independently at all age three , she watched a fair amount of tv before then, about two hours each morning and about hour and a half before tea. So we decided she would go screen free and my youngest was born into being screen free too. I think the benefits have been good but it can be hard at times for me and DH.
Me and DH aren't screen free, after kids are in bed you would find me watching Gossip Girl etc !!!!

It's so easy to have a no gaming rule when your children are tiny.
Other things my children weren't allowed when they were tiny;
No going to the cinema with friends
No fizzy drinks
Early bedtimes

Things change.
If 16 years of parenting has taught me anything it's never say never.
(Although I have told DS1 that he is not allowed to go on a lads holiday abroad until he is 27 )

DCs do what you do and not what you say. They are quick to spot hypocrisy. I agree with secretsquirrels.

I knew before I clicked on this that your DCs would be young OP!

Wait til they are at secondary school (or if you're lucky, a few years before) and then the pestering will really start.

You will hear that they've been playing 15 rated games at their friends' houses and will be adamant that EVERYONE else has 18 games and that they will be a social pariah if they are not allowed the same game (they ALL play online together, so it is the equivalent of not allowing your DC to go to a party that the rest of their class is attending).

Come back in 3 years and we'll see if you have still managed not to cave to requests for an x-box, playstation etc. There are lots of fun family friendly games, especially on Wii or X-box Kinect.

FWIW I wouldn't put a DS in the same category as its played in a different way and is an ideal travel toy, being so small and yet so full of entertainment. My younger DCs both have one and use them once or twice a week.

None of mine play with them for more than an hour or so (by choice) as they have other interests too - its not the end of the world you know! Even my DS aged 12 has just said x-box is pointless (he has a new hobby which has taken over, so now hardly touches the x-box, for which he pestered us endlessly!)

Ii always makes me smile when parents of young DCs think they can have a lifetime of control. Very simple with a 7 year old but a different story 7 years on.

yanbu - i hate them. i'll be more open minded when dc are olrder and beg for them but until then they dont know what they are :-)

that said dd has a leapfrog tablet thing which she plays with for 10 mins maybe every other day

It's nice to be active and wholesome, but it wears thin on rainy days with older children.

I've never understood the pride some people take in failing to believe there is any more fun to be had from a Wii/television/electric torch than you can get from a length of string. Electronic gadgets makes my life better, and I'm not an illiterate zombie.

i remember revising for my o levels with a spectrum 64 in 1985

always loved video games though, think some people just don't really understand technology so think the worse

Up to you OP, but TBH I cant realy take you seriously when you throw around statements about zombies etc based on your somewhat limited experience of other peoples children who have consoles.

exoticfruits, i think it all depends on how strong you are in your parenting beliefs and the connection you have with your children...whether peers matter more to the older child or parent...just a thought

"It is entirely possible to have a games consol and still be a rounded, imaginative and active child. The assumption that it is either/or is a bit baffling to me."

What Pagwatch said

So far, I have none of these things either. Neither myself nor DH are into computer games so we don't have them on our own account, and DS is still only 4 so I'm holding out as long as possible against them.

However - I have bought DS a "learning computer" to try and interest him in learning his letters and numbers, something he currently has zero desire to know - not working so far.

He does plenty of imaginative play - not so much outdoor play because he won't go outside on his own and I get bitten to death by mozzies within a few minutes and object to having to spray myself with stuff just to go into the back garden - but he gets outside every day.

I expect when he's at school the pressure will start to get something like that, and I'll hold out as long as I can but without putting him in the unpleasant position of being the only child in his class without one.

Poppyboo,
I think one could just as easily say that it is also sometimes a question of whether a parents beliefs matter more to them than their childs relationships.

I could have chosen to ban all electronic games but that would have made DS1 unusual when he started secondary school, knowing no one and with a very odd sibling. So whilst it was not my choice I didn't think my desire to be puritanical about electronic gaming outranked his desire to be one of the guys.

So bit sweeping generalisations would be a bit smug I think.

oh pagwatch ... you sound upset!

Peers matter more to the older DC - it is the natural order of things. The aim is to have an older DC with self discipline and you simply don't have that if you police them all the way. DCs with over controlling parents go one of 2 ways, they allow the control and find it impossible to cut free, the reason that DIL have problems when they won't accept it, or they lead a double life.

I was like that with mobile phones and DS was miserable, he was 12 and everyone did have one. He saved up and then my mother gave him the rest for his birthday. It was one of my nicest memories, he was over the moon.

What will you do when they have the money to buy their own?

My aim is to have DCs who can do things in moderation and be open with me and don't have double lives. I would be rich if I had £1 for every DC I know who can look their mother in the eye, parrot her view and do the opposite when she is out of view.

It has worked, mine are older and they don't feel the need to follow and they don't spend hours in front of a screen.

Parenting is the one job where the aim is to make yourself redundant! You give them roots and you give them wings, and hopefully they come back because they want to, and not through duty.

I love my mother more than my peers but her views and beliefs are her own and there is no need for me to follow them, or to make any difference to our relationship.

Pagwatch sounds like a sensible parent of an older DC- she doesn't sound in the least upset.