Am I the only parent who won't allow an xbox, DS or playstation in the house?

[MINIBondGirl]

Am I being unrealistic in this issue as I only know a very few parents who feel the same? Having seen other children playing on them (sometimes looking like zombies and getting headaches) I am really put off. I know some parents restrict usage and don't allow unsuitable games but a lot don't.

As my boys are 4 & 7 I would rather they played outside, used their imaginations and concentrated on school for now.

Realistic or not?

And, lets be honest, if we all parented the same, there'd be no Mumsnet.

Can I just come back and depress everybody with the fact that my dcs, who were brought up with no TV until of school age, no Xbox, but a house full of books and nature-loving parents, have grown up with an absolute loathing of outdoor pursuits.

However, there is nothing as simple as a correlation when it comes to books: dd lives for them, ds hates them. And dd can take television watching or leave it. Which suggests that it isn't really about what I did or didn't do when they were little- it is about what they are choosing to do now. Nothing much to do with their peers either; if anything they are choosing peers to go with the interests they already have.

Agreed.

That agreed was to madam

...or made all sorts of future decisions based on my level of control now.

I did this, my pwecious DC only had fresh, home cooked 5 a day blah deh blah and I was so smug about it.

Now my DC are 16 and 17. DS has a perma order for lunchtime pizza at Dominos, he phones his order in, on his mobile..... DD works part time and buys her own crap to eat. I am at my pre-teen preciousness....

Is it more of a problem with boys than girls? I have two DDs aged 15 and 11. They have a DS each, a wii and a PS3. The PS3 has not been touched since Christmas, the wii for a few weeks (and I play that more than they do!), and the DSs only on car journeys. They enjoy the games but don't play them very often.

On the other hand, my friend will not let her children have any electronic games. Her eldest son, 15, borrowed his friend's DS and played it in secret for most of the night under the bedcover, so I don't think banning them completely is the answer, it just makes them seem like forbidden fruit.

talking about how I will give up how I want to parent down the line? How dare you assume how I will feel/parent in the future? Just because you might have dropped parenting ideals along the way?

Did I say that? think you may be confused.

I havent dropped any of my ideals, I also havent said anything about my parenting ideals on this thread, you are assuming.

I didn't drop my ideals over food I just saw them subsumed by teenage reality.

I'm still amazed at the expense of all these gadgets, surely they cost quite a bit of money (even if they are 'special' Christmas or birthday presents)? As someone else said earlier, if you have these a £200 gadget that is only used rarely then it makes it even more expensive - Mumsnet is always full of contradictions, people who want to make a chicken last all week, spend a lot of time earning a few quid via ebay yet seem to have every technological gadget under the sun .

Yes, and then because they are expensive you feel obliged to hang on the the bloody things in case anyone actually decides to Get Wii Fit or start a Guitar Band.

DS bought his own with his birthday money....

Amberleaf in answer to this:Did I say that? think you may be confused.

It's where you said this Amberleaf: The best thing is you will be proved wrong in time

How do you know i will be proved wrong? It suggests that you had a certain set of parenting ideals when you had, gasp, younger children (what a crime that is on this thread) which you, later on, dropped. I think that would be a fair assumption to make based on what you wrote, otherwise you would have written it.

wouldn't

You've assumed wrong poppyboo.

My comment related to my experience of parents who attempt to control what their children like/want is that they fall down at some point along the line.

So no I wasnt talking about my own ideals [which I havent as yet mentioned on this thread-again you are assuming they are complete opposite to yours] I havent dropped anything.

I had such high ideals about everything for my DCs when they were young. So many things seem to affect how these actually pan out in real life, and the main factor is that children grow up into teenagers and have opinions of their own.

And are prepared to act on them.

Amberleaf I'm not controlling, I'm simply setting boundaries as I don't agree with screen time at a young age. They will watch TV when they're older, but we will not have games consoles in our home.
So are you not brave enough to write your own opinions on this thread?
You say I haven't dropped anything Well, why are my parenting ideals so laughable if you haven't experienced having parenting ideals with younger children and later on changing your mind/giving up if you can't talk from personal experience? It seems like you have experienced it and you feel bitter and jaded.

They may not have them in your home but they may well end up round their mates playing theirs.

poppyboo, I don't think AmberLeaf sounds as though she feels bitter and jaded. I think she sounds like she's offering a different perspective.

It is tough (not smug) for me to look back and see how many of the things I thought would be easy about parenting were actually very difficult. I value MN because many posters are good at suggesting very good compromises.

You are assuming such a lot poppyboo.

I havent written anything about my own parenting ideals because I dont need to! I have no need to boast of what I do or do not 'allow' my children to have/do, I have no need to seek approval from other parents so why would I shout about it?

Im laughing at you because you seem to think that ideals changing is down to parents somehow lowering their standards.

wonders what is so inherently sinful about technology? especially given that we are all currently staring at a screen

Yes!

Hobnobs My DC's are in bed now, and they were out today with DH...It's not technolgy I have a problem with, it's technology like gaming which can be addictive and can take up so many hours a day for some young children. I think too much screen time for DC's/teens can be damaging.

Personally I think it is impossible to prevent a proto-adult from playing on a console, eating a McDonalds or having a relationship, if they are determined to do so.

I think that's just accepting reality. And my efforts should be spent not locked in a series of horrible battles, but educating and talking and negotiating to the best of my ability.

I don't know if I really anticipated this when my DCs were young.

Amberleaf so you're a fence sitter then? Waiting to attack other peoples opinions on parenting while not prepared to actually express your own. As for being smug and boasting, I was merely explaining to the OP what we do. But apparently that isn't allowed here as it doesn't fit in with the majority view.

Coconutty if someone told me that they had zombie children who sat there in front of the TV/gaming goodness knows how many hours per week I'd feel really sorry for them. You used the word zombie not me.