Am I the only parent who won't allow an xbox, DS or playstation in the house?

[MINIBondGirl]

Am I being unrealistic in this issue as I only know a very few parents who feel the same? Having seen other children playing on them (sometimes looking like zombies and getting headaches) I am really put off. I know some parents restrict usage and don't allow unsuitable games but a lot don't.

As my boys are 4 & 7 I would rather they played outside, used their imaginations and concentrated on school for now.

Realistic or not?

mindgone it must be absolutely delightful for you to be so, so very right.

mindgone re banning tv until school hols, weekends...i would rather my child played out then not be stuck in front of a box or a games console...

seeker i would rather my ds play cod that watch a bunch of "has beens...zz list celebs" which chant absolutely smutty sexually innuendo dribble

"If you teach your child that it is pretend then I can say they be ok."

I think the problem is that with young children, they aren't old enough/don't have the life experience to distinguish between pretend/not pretend. Its true that fairy tales can be quite gruesome, but there is a difference between being told a story by a parent 3 times a week and seeing something repeatedly on a screen.

On the other hand, you do learn about real life when you climb a tree, scrape your knee, have a disagreement with somebody who can talk back etc. etc.

Anyway, I'd better turn my computer off and leave this virtual world of MN for a bit!

But presumably you wouldn,t be watching that sort of thing either, doormat? So what are you watching after 9 that you don't want your ds to see, and that you think is worse for him than playing computer games intended for adults?

My stepadughters are 19 and 17. We have never allowed any games consoles etc. An utter waste of time that should be spent reading, learning or doing something healthy and physical, in my opinon. (Of course now what they do on their iPhones etc is not under our control)!
My DS (aged 3) is on the autistic spectrum and does have an iPad, which is very helpful for him (although he just uses it to watch TV shows at the moment not play games, I must say).

seeker i dont watch any programs except for restoration man, location et all because ds likes them...the only thing i actually watch is repeats of dallas...i will also watch bgt when johnathan and charlotte are on as i seen this when my son had it on at his house and was amazed....so as you can see i hardly watch tv at all...
i was paying over £200 a month for all sky channels,broadband and phone inc... the tv part wasnt getting used

i spend my evenings conversing with my son, playing board games, on internet whilst ds does his homework or is playing out...9pm my ds is in bed, watching home alone or some other film of genre, he lasts 10 mins before he is asleep

Sorry, doormat! Wrong person!

lmfao seeker

Anyway, I think basically computer gaming in whatever form is part of modern life, & learning to use technology & being comfortable with it is the most important skill after being literate & numerate

Agree.

They use laptops etc in nursery now and my dad was very impressed at my youngests PC skills! like it or not that kind of technology is essential as most jobs require even a basic level of computer literacy-also while at school they are often required to access the internet for research etc, some H/W is set via school intranet.

I won't be getting any consoles. My dd is only 5 and has just started asking for a DS. She will get bored of asking eventually. I'm determined not to crumble.

DD plays a few games on the pc but prefers to draw, make crafts and play board games and jigsaws. I agree with theDudesmummy, they are a complete waste of time, very hard to supervise and I just don't want arguments they will generate.

I have never brought this for my DS (age 4.5) and don't intend to. I think it is really unhealthy for kids to play on these things for long periods of time

It seems the assumption from people who dont agreew ith x boxes and the like are that thats ALL the chidlren do, from morning till night to the exclusion of everything else. I really dont get that.

At the end of the day playing games on the x box is just another fun enjoyable activity for some children. My DS2 whos 10 and DS3 whos 4 love playing the Disney game for the X Box connect as you dont need a controller and operate the characters by moving, a fun way to keep fit to. And no its not the only activity they do - DS3 also does tap dancing classes and judo, and luckily we live in an area where Im happy to let him out to play for hours with his friends.

I do realise we all have different parenting styles and values however it makes me angry when some think theirs are more superior to someone who doesnt think like them as shown here, especially with poppy. I think the post that most annoyed me was the one about "poor kids, electronic babysitter" etc. There is nothing wrong with children doing things they enjoy, simply to have fun - it doesnt make you a better parent to spend all your time trying to amuse and entertain your children, and I think this was the clear implication here.

So far (ok my DDs are only 6 & 3) have been allowed to play on computers as much as they want, though not less than an hour before bedtime. I've found it self-limiting - they get bored & want to do something else before long, same as watching television. I'm aware that this may change when they are older and will adapt accordingly. DD1 is the third youngest in year 2 but is doing year 4 work, so I don't think it's affecting her adversely in terms of school work...

An utter waste of time that should be spent reading, learning or doing something healthy and physical, in my opinon.

Well just as well we all think differently and have different opinions eh. My DS does like to read and do "healthy physical" things as I mentioned e.g his dancing. Its just that he likes to play his x box to. And I happen to think childhood should be fun - as well as educational and keeping fit of course to.

And the x box kinect is "healthy and physical" anyway

agree duck ...also have you tried the boxing on the wii...i am whoa, that is physical...dh and ds break out in a sweat

I think people who have no experience of games, gaming and consoles find it very easy to condemn wholesale without really knowing anything about it.

No not yet doormat, I do like the hula hooping though and the flapping your arms about in the air one is good Ive heard for bingo wings

havent tried them duck...yes i totally agree octo...ppl cant condemn etc until they know or have experience...it is called narrow mindedness

I think the OP will have a tough time trying to stay 'screen free' for too much longer!
I probably had similar beliefs when my children were babies/toddlers, but now I've realised that they belong to the same category as my convictions that my births would go as I had planned them, and that MY babies would sleep through the night at 6 weeks .

I think anyone who tries to raise screen-free children these days risks making them social pariahs. Of course children who spend 5+ hours at a time show signs of the impact - the problem there is not necessarily the screen time, but the lack of parental input and supervision.

My DCs are now 13 & 10 and have a fine array of consoles etc, but as they've grown up they've learnt (from us) how to manage their use of them in the context of a range of varied hobbies and interests. Yes, DS1 likes meeting his friends on Halo, but also like camping with the Scouts, and playing his guitar in his band.

When cinema was invented lots of doomsayers proclaimed it was the end of the book....
ditto TV, Videos, e-books etc.
At the end of the day, all these new media have now found their role and their place, and everything else has shifted a bit, or had to 'reinvent itself' a bit.

I can't image the DSs life without new technology:

• DS1 uses music software & Garage Band to compose
• DS2 makes Lego animations (inspired by the Lego games he plays on the Wii)
• They both help to list their old toys to sell on eBay
• They both use the internet and Word/Powerpoint/Paintshop/YouTube etc to do their homework
• The school often refer the kids to educational videos on YouTube for homework (How will the OP cope with that??)

The other thing worth mentioning is the whole 'convergence' issue, which is that it is becoming progressively less easy to 'ban' a particular piece of new technology as they are all becoming multi-functional...

• DS1 accesses YouTube through the TV
• DS2 uses the Dictionary on my mobile phone
• They both do music aural practice using the iPad

Every generation has its 'bug bear' - the thing their children want to do that they (the parents) don't understand or want to control/resist.
In my day it was probably Punk or Smoking.... now it's 'Screen time'!

I agree with the 'come back in 7 years and laugh at your comment, OP...'

well said cornflakemum xxx

The worst decision I ever made was allowing my 12 year old an xbox. 6 months later I have an angry addicted preteen that we have had trouble with. he does suffer from adhd/asd and it has caused so much grief in our household so much that now I have been unable to cope and he is now living with his dad for a while.

My son got violent if I tried to ban the xbox and would hit his sisters. I accept some blame but we are weaning him off it slowly now, eventually I want it gone from the house.

Thing is we started off with boundaries and rules at first but as he got more and more addicted he became uncontrollable, he never went out. When we did ban it for a few weeks, he would stay out all night and I would find him at a friends on thier xbox and refuse to come home, he would use his friends, whoever had the best game then thats where he would end up. We would call police to find him.

My dd's will not be having a games console, Ever.

I just think that life is better and children are happier without these things. They are addictive. There aren't enough hours in the day for them, not when there are so many other wonderful things that kids could be doing. I think they are imagination killers. Each to their own though.

Or you could just limit screen time? I'm talking about NT children- I realise that some find this harder.

They certainly are not imagination killers.

When ds1 was about 12 he spent some time trying to work out games that would be accessible for his brother who has asd. He wanted to create games tat had very simple 'stories' and simple graphics that would simply give the child multiple options to create different out comes. It was great and the stories were brilliant.

A child may become addicted. A child may use games inappropriate to their age. A child may use games for too long and it will impinge upon other activities.

All of those are about parenting and nothing to do with the games consol.

seeker that works for my dd who is NT, She comes off when she's told too and can understand why she has to have her time limited.

I naively thought my ds would be the same. Although mainstream he lacks understanding and finds it difficult to understand what a consequence is.

I just feel as if Ive failed him as a parent I really do. sigh.

op I do think that its easier to limit usage of consoles if your dc are young, its when they get older that issues may start to arise