Anyone seen todays Times about Gina Ford's new book?!!!!!

[louby78]

OMFG is all I can say. Anyone who doesn't like her will now see their hatred excel to a new level.

Apparently new mums should go on a date night with their husbands 4-6 weeks after the birth of their new baby and have sex even if they don't feel like it. Other mums share their tips and one woman actually says...."you may have to grin and bear it"!! EXCUSE ME?!

When her mums are feeling down she tells them to have a bath, shave their legs and paint their nails!!!! Not sure about anyone else but when my children were babies I could just about manage to brush my teeth! And as for sex...... well sleep would be my priority but I guess if I'd listened to her my babies would be sleeping through from 6 weeks after I put them in their own room and left them to cry until they got the message.

All this from someone who has never even had a baby. If she too had pushed out a baby bigger than a melon, had to be cut and then stitched together again (not to mention the bruises which made it hard to sit down for a week), then she maybe qualified to offer new mums advice. Until that day she should just keep stum.

It's like reading something from the 1940s. Silly cow.

SSSSSSSHHHHHHHH

we do not talk about her

another thread already went poof

wtf?
i can't imagine any relationship that works on that level is a healthy one.

both parties have to want sex.

"Ford recommends that within four to six weeks of the birth, parents should go out for 'a lovey-dovey afternoon or evening when they got glammed up and were not allowed to talk about the baby.

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2109164/Gina-Ford-book-Relationship-gurus-advice-new-parents.html#ixzz1o4c6osua
"

i'd like to see that if you're bfing every 2 hours.

What on earth is wrong with getting on with your life? I'm genuinely puzzled as to why you wouldn't shave your legs/go out/have a cuddle.

An acquaintance told me that once. Apparently about a month after both her children were born she had sex just make sure things were working . She said that apparently she just grit her teeth and got on with it - considering I've only met her twice this was waay tmi and I decided not to pursue a friendship...
As for SWMNBN -

i couldn't be arsed to shave my legs/armpits etc.
i have to force myself to wash my hair, because i have to present myself at work.(self-employed)

can't go out without DD as she needs bfing.
we do have cuddles - lots of them. we don't have a chance to do any other coupley stuff that we did before (we can't even undress each other!)
we're at 12 weeks.

You may well have a cuddle or shave your legs but being told to do it because it will make you feel better after childbirth?! But a cuddle is not sex (obviously) and to be told to get one with it when you don't want to. Everyone is different just as every baby is different which is why a generic baby book/advice for mums book is just b*llocks. I do know some that had sex within a week of giving birth and applied mascara and lipstick in between contractions but that was sooooo not me. Making such ridiculous comments just goes to add pressure to new mums who think she actually knows what she's talking about.

It's called the contented mother's guide - the clue is in the title and frankly your description doesn't make you sound content.

My son is less than 3 weeks old, I shaved my legs the day I got out of hospital, it was bliss - I'm loving my daily shower/bath. Love cuddling my husband and really looking forward to having sex (he's nervous about hurting me due to small section/scar complications) and my god I can't wait for us to go out on a proper date - I have a new dress to try out!

I applied for a new job yesterday, have been to visit my horse and hope to be back at the gym asap.

Life doesn't end when you get a bfp.

I can sort of see her point about contented mothers being good and agree alpine but I don't think anyone should be pressured. However IMe sometimes what are the very real issues post birth that make it difficult to get back into anything couple like can sometimes morph into something else more serious with relationship.

Also there is definitely a market for her approach or wouldn't sell the books. It might seem to be a long time ago but do remember being afraid my life was over , relationship damaged etc and at that point would have been tempted by this book.

But don't think need another book to tell us that having kids changes your life and can stress your relationship.

Great for you AlpinePony but you sound incredibly smug and frankly naive about what it's like for hundreds of mothers. I'm incredibly content thanks but it was bloody hard work at the beginning. Being content for me was not about going on a date with my husband within weeks of my babies being born or measuring the happiness and strength of our marriage on how soon after we had sex. Be careful what and who you judge - you're three weeks in and it may be your first baby with more to come. The road ahead is bumpy and whilst I hope you have a smooth ride not everyone does.

Medal emoticon for Alpine?

Good grief, I didn't stop bleeding until 10 weeks after having Dc3, which meant everything would have been very messy and I was anaemic on top of being generally new baby no sleep shattered. Grin and bear it my arse.

I can't stand the woman. Babies aren't ready for such a routine as she wants and in them first few weeks, months all I wanted to do was have cuddles with baby and relax with them, not stress about nap times, or feeding schedules. I am more ' take it as it comes' with parenting. Dp was quite happy with that and yes we did manage to get back to normal with sex, it took a lot longer then 6 weeks but he understood with a baby things are never going to be as they were pre baby so he just went along with it.
As for content, people are contented by didn't things and I know if I followed her routines I would be harassed and unhappy.

By 'different' things

Mmmm and what if you have a horrible infection? There's a reason why its the six week check!

This will end badly.

Hope you're uptodate with your defamation insurance payments MNHQ.

There' enough pressure to get everything right for your baby, nevermind trying to keep you partner happy. Fair enough if YOU want sex, shaved legs etc, but I hate this 'one size fits all' approach.

If she said sensible things, she wouldn't get the publicity she needs. And she'd be called Penelope Leach.

I cannot think of a single positive thing to say about GF or any of her output. And we're not allowed to say bad things.

So I'm just typing bollox to mark my place on the thread before it gets deleted.

I think she is just marketing a product - ie her way of raising a child. if you don't buy into it, why get cross? There's enough other advice out there if you really need your baby to come with a manual. I don't think she is some force who will have hoards of new mothers thinking there is no other way. I don't read self help books, but I don't get cross to see them on a shelf. I don't buy travel guides, but I don't care if someone wants one to go round Spain with. Why the outrage? You are assigning more power to her suggestions than exists.

it's a book for MILs to present to their DILs

A book like this is just going to put huge pressure on new mums, especially if new fathers read this book and then expect their partners to conform to these standards.

It's fine for some mums to want to do all of these things so soon after birth, but the expectation that we all should do them, just gritting out teeth and getting on with it, it ridiculous and demeaning.

This thread will not end well...

I found cuddling DH very useful largely because a 6 foot bloke makes a very useful prop against which to have a five minute cat-nap when you've been awake for, ooooh shall we say 4 to 6 weeks?

As for having sex so soon...

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I actually think she is an apologist for surrendered wifedom. Contented Mother = Surrendered Wife imo.

Her babycare advice is no different in tone or aim than advice dished out to women in the 50s, and now the whole philosophy, the reasoning behind the baby training is becoming clear -- train the baby to cause as little upset to the father as possible because it is his life and equilibrium that matter.

Why would a husband want to talk about a baby fgs -- surely his mind would be on more important things than something that concerned women? What would a woman be thinking, not up for sex four weeks after what felt like a paint can passed through her vagina and getting sleep maybe in 90 minute increments between feeds if she is lucky?

Same as the attitude of gurus in the 50s who though wifey should put on makeup, change clothes, put on high heels to greet hubby when he swanned in from the office. GF obviously hasn't considered that there are men who actively help with their own babies, wake in the night for feeds and changing, and consider themselves full partners in the business of taking care of their own children, who are so knackered themselves from the demands of the first few weeks postpartum that they are asleep before their heads hit the pillow and sex is the last damn thing they feel like doing when they get to bed. She is living in a time warp.

Hopefully this latest load of codswallop will reveal the way she is taking women backwards and scupper her.

I was actually told by my doctor every time not to have sex until at least six weeks postpartum. At 8 weeks I was still bleeding, and feeding every two hours round the clock.

AlpinePony, your medal is in the post.