The things Gina Ford should put in her book ....

[diminishedresponsibility]

one is that when you become a parent you will need to develop asbestos hands really quickly!

That's tantamount to saying voldemort I think

Gina who?

who, eh? asbestos hands??
i stupidly flicked through it earlier wondering what happens after 12months

but to answer your OP - growth spurts.

I can believe you mentioned swsnbn

Can't

I was going to suggest a lit match

Gina Ford is like a dinosaur. Outdated and pre historic.

These days you just download a "Child rearing App" to your I phone. It will tell you when to feed the baby, when to change the nappy, irrespective of what signals the baby give you. Follow the "Bleeps" from the app, and you are sorted! You need no book, you need no Gina, and most of all, you dont even need common sense!

Uh-oh.

The app will also wake you up on the middle of the night to ensure your sleeping baby gets his feed and nappy change, and it will tell you when during the day it is time for baby to nap.

About three weeks after the baby is born, there is a bonus "bleep", it signals that it is now time for you to bathe baby. For the first time.

Great! A must for first time parents.

There is no "Bleep" for winding the baby, as it is a myth that baby needs winding. It will burp naturally when it needs to, so no "bleep" necessary.

Lol @ having a good kick on their playmat. I remember reading that somewhere and thinking wtf?

Prehaps Gina should pencil into the routine when you can start having sex at 6 weeks

Quint: too funny! I think I may have heard of it, is it the ginius app?

I have no idea. But a friend (soon to be mum) was raving about it. She has an I phone though? I dont know what to say, you can argue with technology!

I wouldn't know where to start on what she should have put in her books. Less bullshit?

You know, OP, that we do not mention her name here?

linky for you

that she's never had children?

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

She should be honest and say that she is a glorified nanny writing for full time nannies and that she knows nothing of actual parenting.

Eh?

Asbestos hands?!

WTAF is that thing woman telling you to do to your baby that requires asbestos hands?!

I predict thread deletion by....12.47

That babies are individuals and don't actually know what time it is?

You're all norty.