Back in the Zoo for new adventures with old friends

[CaptainNemo]

Come on over animals, I think we'll be very comfy here

hey buddha lovely to see you back xx are you feeling better?

WRT the TTC doubts i have had these wobbles and took some time out from TTC after the MCs each time (except this time) i was scared i would be neglecting DDs needs by being so ill etc but the ill you are in preg is different than how ill you would be with an illness IYSWIM so unless hyperemesis and hospitalisation is a possibility i doubt E would feel neglected. it is an entirely personal choice and only you know how you feel about it xx we decided to power on as the urge to procreate is stronger than any fears i have or have had so sadly i will probably be TTC forever i hope you are ok and are taking care of yourself

marbles thanks for your words of wisdom I think I've lost my broodiness I hope its just temporary but with E being crap with sleep again me being poorly I just feel a bit low. Kick me up the arse and I'm sure I'll be fine

It'll be worth the sickness Buddha I'm sure!
I can't imagine having any more. I get broody now and again but J is such hard work. Another one like him would finish me off!

Just back from a run and knackered but craving naughty sweet stuff again. Need to knock it on the head big time.

I had my jabs this morning for my holibobs in April. I was all brave and everything! Now my arms feel like they've been battered. Will this pain ever go away?! Jeeez. Still, it's soooo worth it. 10 whole nights sans enfants. Just me and my mate Jealous much?

Hello
Sorry, I've been awol too recently, I don't know where the time goes sometimes.
Murray Glad the book arrived safely and hope you're finding it helpful. So pleased things are getting back on track with ov, that is great news I would definitely have acupuncture anyway just to help things along and support a new pg. As for the needles, they are nothing like the medical needles used for injections etc. They're so fine you honestly barely feel them going in and once they're in you don't feel them at all.
Frazzle Well done you with your new PB, what a great feeling Sorry you've not heard back from Spam, but you did the decent thing in trying to stay friends and if he's not prepared to meet you half-way then you're better off without him in your life, in any guise. It's very hard though, especially when you share a common interest and if you know you might bump into him at races etc. Not jealous at all of your 10 days away sans enfants
Buddha So sorry you've been so ill, sounds horrendous When you feel run-down and exhausted then you're bound to focus on all the negatives of being pg/having a new baby. Lack of sleep is a real killer, I shoud know Give it a few days and you'll be feeling more positive. If you really are having a wobble then maybe take some time out from ttc as Marbles suggested and really think about what you want. It's such a personal decision and even once you've made it you'll still have "what if" moments. I know I do about having DC2. I know in my heart of hearts that I don't want another, but I do occasionally think about it and wonder and probably always will.
However, any lingering thoughts of DC2 I might have at times are quickly dismissed since I'm having a bit of a nightmare with E at the moment. I'm finding it bad enough dealing with one, never mind two! We're having strops, full-blown tantrums, defiance, not listening... the list goes on and it's doing my head in! She'll refuse to obey a simple request (such as put her coat on to go out) and then it all goes into meltdown and nothing is then right - she doesn't want to put her coat on but doesn't want to go out without it either. I've tried all the obvious tricks but it's doing my head in, especially by the end of the day. DH and I are pretty relaxed with her and don't have many rules, she's pretty free to do as she pleases, but there are some non-negotiables, such as cleaning teeth or getting ready for bed for example and I'm getting fed up with the battles. It's not just at home either, she's doing it at nursery too. Yesterday she didn't get her morning good behaviour star there as apparently she refused to wash her hands before lunch when asked and ended up throwing herself on the floor screaming. So she didn't get a sticker at the end of the day. Not that she was that bothered! I've started telling her that she has three books before bed and if she acts up during the day they will be taken away. I give her ample warning of this but to no avail. Yesterday she was down to 2 books by bed-time (after the incident at nursery) and today she had none after kicking off at swimming, then in the supermarket and then round at my mum's. She loves her books at bed-time and gets upset if she loses even one book but doesn't seem to make the link between her behaviour and the fact that she's going to lose a book. We do read together during the day btw, it's not as though bed-time is the only time we sit down to read, but it's the only thing that seems to work. Time out doesn't work with her, she refuses to stay in the corner and just laughs. And if, for example, I say "If you don't put your coat on then we're not going out" then she's quite happy to stay at home. And this doesn't work if I actually need to get her out of the house for nursery or something. For really bad behaviour (such as spitting which she's also started doing after picking it up from nursery) she immediately gets sent to her room, but I don't want to use that punishment too often and I also don't want her having negative associations with her room as we have enough trouble with her sleeping as it is! Any suggestions, I'm fed up with this! I know it's probably just a phase but it's wearing me down at the moment and I spend my day just dreading the next battle
On a brighter note, I've decided that I want to celebrate my 40th in Paris so DH, DD and I will be heading there at the end of June How about you Buddha, any plans for yours? When is it exactly?
Hope everyone else is OK.
PS. Nemo Do fill us in on Valentine's Day, we're desperate to hear all about it!

Impala we too are having some downright horrible behaviour along with the spitting too time out for E doesn't have much effect so we've been putting toys on time out specifically those he's playing with before he has a meltdown and that seems to be working for us. It's horrible when they are having 'episodes' and I hover over him when we go anywhere waiting for something to happen which makes him worse but I can't seem to stop it No plans for my 40th we're going away the week before I'm kinda hoping to be pg so I can hide away

Would a reward chart work for E? I've not done that yet as I feel Ewan's too young but E is that bit older so it may work?

evening ladies

impala lovely to see you m'dear sounds like E is really testing her boundaries with you!! S has phases like this and the thing that has worked up until now is taking away priviledges. For S it is TV, swimming, her favourite doll and her ipod ATM. The things that can be, are put ontop of the tall wardrobe in my bedroom where she cant get them and she goes straight to bed and to sleep, no negotiation. She also has to apologise and mean it (no attitude in the apology) and she has to earn her things back with good girl points (sticker chart to begin with, now its more time she has been "good" IYSWIM)

She has also had the "not wearing a coat" thing, i decided to pick my battles as if she is cold she will learn to wear her coat. I just take a fold away jacket with me when we are out so she wont stay cold It is mainly attitude and getting dressed for school that is our battle now but her HT is having words as i have informed the school of this as she is late a few days a week (a few minutes but still late) They have asked recently why she is late and I told them in front of her! She is 6 now so needs to learn it isnt acceptable.

i hope somewhere in that mammoth ramble i have made some suggestions that may be of some help
Im spending my 30th in paris with my sister in may you have family in paris do you not? we are going for the sights (and child-free girls break)

buddha sorry E has been playing up too! kids eh!! sounds like you are doing similar to what we are as we didnt really get very far with naughty step etc either! S just gets up and messes around like its a game or sobs like im murdering her we havent done time out for S for AGES for that reason and i think she getting a bit old for it now too! hope you are feeling better xx

hi to everyone else

Impala You should meet Jack. You will think E is the perfect angel, trust me. He is Mr Defiance. Everything is "NO!" But said in a really spoilt brat way. He's been like this forever and I can't see him changing.
There's nothing I can say to you except sympathise! Deep breaths, deeeeeeeep breaths......

Oooh Marbles!! A childfree trip to Paris! That is truly awesome and you bloody well deserve it too!

Hello ladies so sorry I've been away for so long. I've been thinking about you lots (and feeling guilty for my absence...) Unfortunately this isn't a proper catch up as I have LOADS of work I need to (and prob won't) do today and I'm still in bed! been awake off and on since 4.30 so was really hoping to catch up on some much needed sleep, but apparently not. Sigh. DD was up at 4.30 as we (stupidly) managed to leave the only toy she really cares about (apart from baby) in Kent with the friends we were staying with this weekend.., it's a blanket my sister gave her when she was first born and she needs/wants it for bedtime and naps. Idiot parents. She's been waking early a LOT lately so I've succumbed in desperation and have a kidsleep clock on order from jojo as I had a 15% discount code. Have any of you tried then? It the gro clocks?

I'm sorry for the me me me post, I promise to come back tonight to try to catch up with everyone properly. Have loved hearing everyone's news, even though it's not all positive... But Murray whoop whoop for ov!!

Ps REALLY need some boys name suggestions if you can bear to turn your minds to it... Current front runners are Jude and (hopefully Mummy won't mind) Noah, but not totally sure about either. Have 3 months to go so no rush, but it's praying on my mind - you know his I love to have something to worry about! Oh, and speaking of which, saw consultant last week to check cervix length again, is still ok but had shortened 10mm since last check 4 weeks before so I have to go back in a fortnight.... Am so crap at being pregnant, it's just one thing after another... But please don't think I don't know how lucky we are, am not really moaning (promise) just venting. Right. That's enough about ME. Will be back for a less selfish post later xxxx

Ooh Nemo My fave boys names are:

Jude (fer shizzle)
Samuel (I know, I know... but was top of my boys list waaaaay before I met the spam)
Joseph
Sebastian
Milo
Arthur
Albert (Albie)
Henry
Benjamin
Thomas
Oliver
Dexter

I'll be back with more no doubt!
BTW I hope the clock works... J has rabbits from Jojo which I have lots of spares of!

Frazzle thanks for the list, I think you and I have quite similar taste! Sorry to hear about the email situation, fwiw it sounds like EXACTLY the sort of thing I would have done (and probably regretted...) but it's so hard once they're in your head, and it must have been especially tough when it related to something you used to do together.... But, on a more positive note, bloomin well done on your new pb!! That's FANTASTIC! You should be very proud of yourself madam. And re an earlier post, I think you'd make a fab blogger too How are your arms now?

Impala sorry to hear you're having such a tough time with E. I think the only piece of advice I can give is "this too shall pass". T hasn't ever really got on well with the naughty step/corner either, we used it for a bit but pretty quickly she'd run over to it by herself, laughing, when she'd done something naughty. Little cow. Good luck, I hope it's not too stressful....

Marbles glad to hear about all the SWI, and the trip to Paris, that sounds AMAZING!!!! Thalia has the same 'not wearing her coat' thing, these days I figure if she's cold she's cold, she's not likely to get hypothermia. Or at least I hope not! I keep remembering the Toddler Taming book, about picking your battles, it's just a shame that sometimes there are so many to choose from!

Buddha I can totally understand your thoughts about ttc having been so ill. It was nothing compared to what you've been through but I picked up a bit of a bug while we were on holiday and felt v sick, and just couldn't imagine feeling that way day in day out and having to cope with DD. But in the event, although I felt sick pretty much from 5.5 weeks to 20 weeks, I really don't think DD even noticed the difference. She just watched rather more Peppa Pig than I would like, although still significantly less than she would have liked!

Just been told by my laptop that it's almost out of juice, so will post this and come back once I have a charger....

Hello ladies,
Sorry for not coming back to thank Frazzle, Marbles and Buddha for your helpful suggestions re E's behaviour last week, you had some good ideas. I've thought about the sticker chart but I'm a bit loathe to reward her for what I consider ought to be normal behaviour IYSWIM. Or am I being too harsh? (must be the French side in me ) Frazzle I don't know how you cope with J being like this all the time, it would drive me nuts. Marbles we may try confiscating toys if the threat not to read stories wears off. DH has threatened to put toys in the bin before now and that does tend to work quite well Hope the HT's words had some effect on S and you have less of a battle on your hands in the morning. One of my friends has a 9 year-old DD and she says it's a nightmare getting her off to school. Can't wait! Fortunately E was much better over the weekend thank goodness, I think lots of time spent playing with Daddy helped. I think she's going into a Daddy phase which is great for me, so far she's always clung to me but I might get a bit of breathing space at last! DH is happy too after too many months of "not want you, want mummy" Today she was fine at nursery. She played up in the supermarket after I picked her up as she really didn't want to go, but she was tired by then. And , she's had a sore toe since Friday. I thought it was her shoes getting too small as it's on her largest foot and that they'd really rubbed when we spent 3 hours walking around the zoo on Friday afternoon. No, it turns out it's an infected toenail So after getting the pharmacist to check her over and him asking me how long she'd had it for and looking askance at me when I said since Friday , we then had to go to the walk-in centre this evening to get ABs for her, poor thing. So we I now have the joy of trying to get those down her 4 times a day. Honestly, it's one thing after another - last weekend she had an unexplained temperature which didn't turn into anything, this week it's an infected toenail... It's just one thing after another at the moment!
Marbles Ooh, Paris for your 30th too, great minds think alike! Where are you staying? We're looking at renting an apartment as it works out cheaper than a hotel and as we'll have E it's a bit more flexible. We went to Rome last new year (2010/11) and rented an apartment there and it worked really well. Looking at apartments on the Left Bank at the moment. Sadly my family doesn't live in Paris anymore although we do have friends in the suburbs.
Buddha Fingers crossed you get pg before your 40th, the week away sounds lovely. Part of me does want to hide away and forget it's happening (which is why I don't want a big party!) but on the other hand I wanted to do something a bit special.
Nemo Lovely to see you, although it sounds as though you're having a bit of a stressful time what with work, forgetting DD's blanket and her waking early. E went through a phase of that last year and it was a killer (and I wasn't pg!) I would end up just sticking a DVD on for her and trying to shut my eyes but it didn't always work. Haven't tried a Gro clock yet as E invariably wakes most nights so I end up sleeping next to her. But friends who have them say they're great. Sorry to hear about your pg worries but it sounds as though you're being closely monitored which is good.
Right, boy's names... I like Jude and Noah and also all of Frazzle's suggestions, Samuel, Thomas and Benjamin in particular. I also like Oscar, Alfie, Alexander (Alex) and Jack. Although we knew E was a girl very early on (at 12 week scan and then confirmed by 4D scan at 24 weeks), we also had Aaron as a back-up until we were 100% sure, i.e. when she was actually born!
Hope everyone else is OK!

X-posted with Nemo! Yes, "this too shall pass" has been my mantra recently, but when?? Hopefully not too much longer... Is it a girl thing with the naughty step? I have friends with boys who sit where they're told without any problems We had to physically stop E from running away from the corner when we tried that as a punishment so we stopped as it seemed pointless. I have caught her sending her toys to the corner though, so funny! She's also pretty good at imitating me saying "ça suffit!" (that's enough!) too

Am back

Have just had to remove my (mat) jeans as they were trying to kill me..... Am SO fat! I blew up like a balloon with DD as well, so at least I know I can lose it again, but JEEZ! It's my own fault for being a greedy cow, but surely a girl has got to have some pleasures in life?!? But honestly, my legs and arse are revolting, and I literally have cellulite down to my KNEES. I know I shouldn't be outgrowing mat clothes with over 3 months to go, and yet I don't seem to have either the will power or the energy to do anything about it....

aaarggh! Just had a text from the woman we stayed with this weekend about T's blanket, was REALLY hoping she'd posted it today and it's be here tomorrow, but she's just said she's hoping to get to the post office tomorrow, or if not definitely WEDNESDAY!!! WTF?!?!?! Is that really over the top of me to have hoped that once she knew how much it meant to DD she would have gone to the post officer today?!?!? I know it's our fault for forgetting it in the first place, but given the fact that she has 2 kids I thought she'd understand how important it was.... Bugger.

Anyways, the Valentines day disaster by the way, really wasn't all that dramatic, although I was bloody angry about it for a fair while afterwards. DH was meant to be going up to london to see his ex-boss for lunch. It was vaguely work related but mainly just a jolly, which was fair enough cos he's been working bloody hard. We don't bother with valentines day much, but after he missed my 20week scan I was feeling a bit taken for granted etc so a card would have been nice... I mentioned to him that I'd heard rumours that they had shops in London, that sold nice things but FFS there's a M&S at Waterloo come to that.... I was meant to collect him late afternooon with DD who was SUPER excitied about collecting daddy from the choo choo train. But.... He got so drunk he a) left the v nice (and not cheap) brief case I gave him christmas 2010 in a bar, containing his brand new laptop b) he didn't get back til gone 8pm so I had to ask a friend to come in to watch DD (who was asleep by then) so I could collect him from the station c) he was so drunk he couldn't work out which train he was on. His phone was running out of juice so he was just using texts, and he kept texting me details of which train he was on, none of which existed according to the internet and d) when I did finally collect him he had not so much as a bunch of tulips. Not so much as a card. e) in the car on the way home, he asked what the friend who had some to watch T was doing for the rest of the evening, when I told him he said "I'm sorry it hasn't worked out that way for us" - I'll let you imagine the reaction he got to that one! Suffice it to say, I slept in the spare room that night! I don't really care about valentines day normally, I just felt totally taken for granted and unappreciated, and I'm still waiting for him to do something to make up for it Good luck with that one!!

We're starting potty training tomorrow.... Really not sure DD's ready, though she's pretty bright so I would have thought she would be. Ordered some pants and a potty for her baby on amazon this morning, and dolly's nappies have all been packed away, we'll be a nappy free zone before you can say 'wet patch'. Or maybe not.... Wish me luck please ladies!!

hi nemo lovely to see you lovey il have a think of fave boy names and get back to you

hope every one is doing well

so news from me...not TTC related though i get made redundant in april (cant remember whether i have told you guys this info) and i have been applying for loads of jobs etc. well i was told i have a job and then last week they emailed me to say they had a recruitment freeze and rescinded my offer anywho...i had a call from them today sayiong they have lifted the freeze and want me to start on monday moore money, better hours and easier job good eh!!

ooo x-posted with impala

we are stying in district 8 in paris i think...my sister bhas booked most of it as shes paying removing of toys/priviledges really does work for S so maybe try that.

nemo at your DH! have you told him how he has made you feel? FWIW i would be furious too and im clearly not preggers so not hormonal etc! i am a little on your behalf...

I have just spent half an hour typing up a mammoth post, then thanks to DP's stupid MacBook (possibly my fault for being a PC !) I have just lost the entire bloody thing - will be back once I have been for a SCREAM arrgghhhh.......

Right cut-down version of lost post:

impala I feel for you with your toddler trials. E turned into a textbook 2 year old a few weeks after his 2nd birthday but has been way better more recently so hopefully you will have light at the end of your 'toddler tunnel' soon too. He responded well to the naughty corner but it is useless now as he just cheekily sits in it by his own request and then fake cries - arrghhh !

Marbles does that mean you get redundancy money as well as a new a better job ?! What a stroke of luck ! Hopefully some BFP luck coming your way soon too

Buddha where are you in your cycle, are you feeling more up to TTC now ? Maybe we'll be TTC buddies

Nemo Grr at DH and his drunkeness, sounds just like the kind of thing my DP would do - so bloody annoying .
Love the boys names that have been mentioned, esp Jude (top 5 for me). I also like Finlay (Finn), Fraser, Ewan, Lewis, Arran - all very Scottish which is ironic as we ended up picking a Welsh name for E !
Clocks - we have Onaroo which is the best £40 I have ever spent - seriously fantastic ! E waits religiously until the clock turns green before he gets up - plus I set it a bit later at the weekend which is bliss ! I found that he was waking during the night and unsure whether it was morning as it was dark (and also dark at 7am when he gets up) so the clock allows him to know when it is morning - joy !
Potty training - what an 'interesting' stage that is ! My only advice is not to give up if there are lots of accidents initially - I think my expectations were too high at the outset. The first few days were more of a miss than a hit and I was beginning to think he was too young and not ready then all of a sudden we had more hits than misses and within a week he was pretty much dry (and clean !) I believe that they have to have the accidents to help them fully understand the consequence of not going to the potty. We did have a few nights of holding poos until nappy went on at bedtime but that passed quickly. Then a few weeks in he regressed with poos which was a nightmare (possibly my lowest parenting week yet) but again it passed when he decided to conform again. The whole stage was far less demanding that I had imagined but I do know friends who have had a really tough time (mainly boys though). We used a Potette for out and about which was a life saver as you can't always be within a minute or 2 of a loo in the early stages GOOD LUCK !!
Oh and embrace your PG-fat - I hated it when people kept telling me I was tiny as I approached 20 weeks as I suspected I was too small which is not good - far better to be a great big hiefer with a healthy baby - like you said you can lose it afterwards and given you'll have T to run after as well as a newborn you'll lose it in no time !

Nowt to report from here - AF due then I'm counting down the days until TTC - yippeeee ! Start acupuncture on Sat - am hoping it isn't so successful that it gives me a 28 day cycle as DP will be away at the crucial stage - arrghhh ! Am hoping for a slightly elongated cycle - a wee 31-dayer would suit !!!

Where is everyone?

Hope all is well for all...

I have decided to turn the job down as I went for a meeting with the HR people and it turns out the recruitment woman wildly exaggerated the job description, wages and potential of the job I decided that rather than go for a crap job just to have a job, I will stick where I am and keep applying for something better DH want too pleased but he loves his job and sat on his arse for 9 months until he found it so a bit of understanding would be good...

I'm here! Going to have a good read through at lunchtime. Been feeling rather weak and dizzy after this stupid fad three day diet. I might say some weird things.....

Hello ladies - where are you all ?...

Marbles hope you are ok missus, sounds like you made the right decision, even if you DH is not being very supportive. When do you finish up ?

frazzle what crazy diet are you doing ? Surely you really don't need to ?...

Well it is all go here. AF arrived rather suddenly on Thu - unfortunately I had E with me and had to take him with my into the loo as we were about to go into his swimming lesson - I tried to be descreet but Mr nosey just had to have a look in the loo The poor boy just turned to me in complete shock and said "what kind of pee pee did you do mummy ?" eeek ! I have probably scarred him for life !!! I managed to distract him quite successfully but am still waiitng for him to announce to someone that mummy did a red pee !!!
Anyway, first post-MC AF has been and gone - hurray ! So a few practise days then we are up and running finally TTC - whopppeee !
I also had my first acupuncture session on Saturday - it was all good apart fro me finding the Chinese Dr very tricky to understand (some hilarious misunderstandings did occur !) I found the whole thing far more relaxing than I'd expected - not unpleasant atall. However the same cannot be said for the 'raw herbs' that he 'prescribed' me to boil and drink - absolutely disgusting, they make me gag but apaprently they are "preapring my body for pregnancy" so I'm persevering ! Not only that but the herbs cost as much as the acupuncture so I'll be bankrupt by the time I conceive !

afternoon!!

murray nice to see you and so glad Af has been and gone... GL with TTC im thinking of trying acupuncture...im devising a way to hide the charges from DH...

i myself have TTCed like mad, got a BFP saturday afternoon (CD27)and then Af arrived (early!) on sunday morning i am choosing to ignore the BFP part as if i had been patient and waited until Af was due (tomorrow incidentally) i would have been none the wiser... hey ho...i will have to sex up DH this cycle and im thinking of trying agnus castus too...anyone tried it?

Hi Marbles So sorry you are having another messed up month - have you tried the baby asprin ? I believe that it is used for clotting issues which can cause implantation issues ..? Are you planning to report this to the hospital/consultant/whoever is dealing with your lupus and its effects on TTC ?.. It is all very strange that you seem to have no problem fertilising an egg but it just won't stick. As for agnus castus - I tried it when I started TTC and had my longest cycle EVER - about 50-60 days if my memory serves me correctly - it was awful as was convinced was PG due to lateness of AF and body doing funny PG things like tingly boobs - I'd definitely be very wary of it unless you are sure it is right for your issues.
You are sounding very positive though missus, good on you xx

murray i take the 75mg asprin for the lupus treatment already but i was told that taking this pre-implantation can cause implantation defect so im balancing up the benefits of taking it for lupus and not taking it for the last 2 weeks of my cycle to aid implantation...dunno yet though...