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Parenting

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Original poster

how many of you have never had your DC looked after over night?

125 replies

alwayswantedamrfrosty99 · 02/12/2011 16:43

my DS is nearly 20 months old,he has never been looked after over night by anyone

my parents have him 2 days a week while me and OH are at work,my OH works 7 days a week at the min so i have DS 5 days a week

all i hear off other mums is,my mums got my LO this sat night so i can go out,or my parents have asked if they can have my LO for the weekend,my mum will babysit,she comes to our house but we have to be home by 11

how much help do you get with your LO s? do your parents offer to have them or do u have to ask

just curious

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BurntToffee · 04/12/2011 12:54

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exoticfruits · 04/12/2011 13:19

you felt you had to toughen up your kids a bit to deal on their own with adults without you; for people like me though, it would just seem like rather unnecessary

I don't think that is quite how I put it!!
You don't have to advertise for a babysitting circle-you find out if there is an existing one and if not sound out neighbours. I wouldn't advertise for a circle-I advertised for a teen babysitter.

CultureMix · 05/12/2011 00:16

First time ever last night! DSs are 4.5 and 2.5.

This was for my husband's Christmas work do, has been planned for weeks - dear MIL took the train over from Scotland and stayed for the weekend. She has offered to do this previously but the logistics are complex and not something we'd do just to go catch a film! (am saving up requests in case of something like chickenpox). Was worried as DS2 still tends to wake up at night but fortunately slept through . MIL has other commitments so cannot just drop everything and come over nor would I expect her to.

My own parents are abroad so we are on our own, as with previous posters I am very envious of those with PILs on tap who don't appear to appreciate / realise their incredible good luck.

We've had a babysitter maybe 4-5 times to date for special events but are always back home around 11-12pm, this was our first overnight stay and was great! but fully expect this will remain a 'once in a blue moon' thing.

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Alicious · 05/12/2011 02:31

In 4 loooong years we have never left DS 1 and 2 overnight-had the opportunity on Friday-free hotel for a work Christmas do, but decided to come home as DS2 is struggling with teething atm. It is in fact the first time that we have left them to go out as a couple in 4 years! Did I say 4 years?!

I am quite jealous of people who have 'valid' parents and in-laws or handy family members nearby. But I also have a friend whose MIL really pushes her to leave her DS to go on holiday for as long as 2 weeks on a couple of occasions, supported by the boy's father. Tbh I feel sorry for her and her DS who doesn't seem to cope too well with his very full-on grandma looking after him.

I couldn't be without mine for 2 weeks while they are little!

halcyondays · 05/12/2011 16:08

Never and we don't have anyone to babysit in the evening either, unfortunately.
I would bloody love to have somebody who could take them for a weekend but it will never happen. I never stayed overnight anywhere as a child until I went on residential trips with school and I was absolutely fine, I wasn't homesick at all. So not staying away overnight with family doesn't necessarily mean that children will be unable to cope with school trips.

ssd · 06/12/2011 22:43

lljkk, couldn't agree more

PattySimcox · 06/12/2011 22:46

13 and 8. Once for DS before DD was born. That is it

PattySimcox · 06/12/2011 22:48

Should add that as they get older you kind of get a break as they get invited to sleepovers. The flip side is you have to reciprocate and it usually doesn't involve much sleep

Flisspaps · 06/12/2011 22:50

Mine's never stayed away overnight (21mo) - there's never been a need for her to, nor have I had any desire to go out for a night. I like my own bed, she seems rather fond of hers!

Thefoxsbrush · 06/12/2011 22:53

Mine are 1, 2.5 and 5. I'm v lucky as they stay out once every 3 weeks-Alternating between my mums and in-laws. I love it, kids love it, grandparents love it. It works well for us but every family is different

ssd · 06/12/2011 23:10

can I ask - is there anyone here who has children that stay the night elsewhere regularly AND DOESNT HAVE free family support, by that I mean grans/grandads/in laws/other relatives that take the kids for them?

I mean someone who has no support and still has regular childfree nights?

like every other thread about childcare, this thread is divided into those that have family support and get childfree nights and those that have no support and dont, barring the very odd sleepover/residential trip

Pancakeflipper · 07/12/2011 00:02

I can get my nextdoor neighbour to baby sit from 7.45pm until 11pm... that's about it but I bloody love it when it happens. Oh and she won't accept money.

hardboiledpossum · 07/12/2011 12:56

I have left DS (9 months) with DP for a handful of times over night to have girly nights away. DP and I have never had a whole night away, infact since DS turned 6 months we have only been out once together for about an hour. DS screamed for that entire hour and he was with my mum who he knows very well. He also wakes up about 5 times a night still. I don't think anyone would want to take him overnight and even if they did I wouldn't feel comfortable with it at the moment knowing how distressed DS gets.

aubergineinautumn · 07/12/2011 13:28

Ds probably 3/4 months, left him for whole weekend at 9m. Dd prob about the same.

This kind of thing makes me think being a mum is much harder now than previous generations.

peppajay · 07/12/2011 14:15

Never. Grand parents have their own life and are always busy doing something. Hopefully when they slow down a bit as they get older DC's will be able to stay over but now they have no kids at home they are always so so busy doing their own thing, having a 5 and 3 yr old overnight would be too much like hard work for them. They have said when kids are a bit more self reliant they would love to have them over. I get alot of stick as I can never go out on hen weekends or anything as have no help. But in their defence my childhood was fantastic as they always did so much with us and now it is their time to have their time!!!

Tibbo81 · 07/12/2011 19:56

I feel a tad guilty now having read the above postings.
I regularly leave my 6 mth old ds with his grandparents, in fact his going to stay with his gp's on Saturday till Wednesday as myself and dh are going to stay with friends in Prague.

I know I'm really lucky, in that we have lots of family who love having ds. Although i have to admit this will be longest ive been away from him since his been born and i know i will miss him like hell.

discrete · 07/12/2011 19:58

My dc have never been away from me overnight, the eldest is almost 5.

Don't get any help with los whatsoever. My mum probably would help, but she lives very far away.

Ragwort · 07/12/2011 20:38

ssd - yes, I do have fairly regular nights out as my DS goes to sleepovers with friends and I have them back (a bit like an informal babysitting circle but sleeping over rather than the adult going to the other family's house). I don't have any family locally at all and have had to come to this arrangement with friends - obviously you have to get on well to do this but so far it has worked well . He has been doing this since he was about 4 (now aged 10) and loves sleeping over at friends' houses .......... no doubt because they have all the latest tech. gadgets that we don't !

midnightexpress · 07/12/2011 20:46

We don't have family nearby (both DM and DMIL are about 400 miles away). DS1 was once looked after all night by DMIL, but that was in our house, when I was in hospital having DS2. DS2 has never spent a night without one of us being there, although both of us have spent nights separately away from them. Our mums are also in their mid-70s so it's not something we feel we should be asking them to do very often, even if we could.

ssd · 07/12/2011 21:37

ragwort, I have 2 ds's and they have loads of sleepovers but rarely on the same night

pigleychez · 08/12/2011 12:12

Girls are 3.5 and 18mths and havent been left with anyone for more than a few hours and thats only family.

No family nearby so no help at all, let alone babysitting!

Ragwort · 08/12/2011 14:29

That's sad ssd - do you live anywhere near me ? (guess it helps that I have an 'only').

Perhaps we should organise a MN sleepover circle !

ssd · 08/12/2011 17:34

good idea

Beamur · 08/12/2011 17:39

DD is nearly 5 and has only ever been looked after overnight by me or DP. My Mum lives nearby and will stay at my house if we want to go out, but she usually stays one night a week anyway and DP's parents live a long way away - so if we go and see them, we all go.

LauraShigihara · 08/12/2011 17:55

DS2 has been left overnight but that is at our home with his older brother or sister taking care of him. That happens perhaps once a year (usually when we have to go to some dreary party and treat ourselves to a hotel stay)

No inlaws to ask, my brother and his wife would never cope with an extra child and my mother isn't interested in having him. He would love a sleepover but it ain't gonna happen anytime soon.

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