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Original poster

how many of you have never had your DC looked after over night?

125 replies

alwayswantedamrfrosty99 · 02/12/2011 16:43

my DS is nearly 20 months old,he has never been looked after over night by anyone

my parents have him 2 days a week while me and OH are at work,my OH works 7 days a week at the min so i have DS 5 days a week

all i hear off other mums is,my mums got my LO this sat night so i can go out,or my parents have asked if they can have my LO for the weekend,my mum will babysit,she comes to our house but we have to be home by 11

how much help do you get with your LO s? do your parents offer to have them or do u have to ask

just curious

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exoticfruits · 02/12/2011 17:58

8 is the age where they should be going on cub camp etc-so much easier if they have stayed with family.

Bucharest · 02/12/2011 18:31
Hmm
leftmymistletoeatthedoor · 02/12/2011 18:37

When I was having ds stayed at home and my mum came and stayed. He is almost 5. That's the only time.

When he is at school is the longest I've been away from him.

Dd has never been looked after by anyone but dh or me (she is 14m) and ds hasn't been looked after by anyone else since she was born.

We don't have anyone nearby so that's that really.

Its normally ok but one or the other (or now both in a special double whammy) have been ill for 6 weeks and I am beyond exchausted.

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guiltyguilty · 02/12/2011 18:38

My dcs stayed overnight with MIL in April for the first time - they were 5 and 2.6. It was my best friend's wedding and although we came home that night it was too late to collect the dcs.

Am thinking of a night away with DH over Christmas and will ask MIL to take them again. It is not something I wanted to do when they were smaller (breastfeeding and co-sleeping so it would have been difficult) but I would be willing to leave them more regularly now but don't want to ask too much from MIL.

lljkk · 02/12/2011 18:39

DD went to (6 nights) Brownies camp a bit before her 8th birthday, having never been away from us before. Was historically a quiet shy child, too.
Had a blast, loved it, didn't want to go home!

I'm sure it's preferable to have them spend some nights away before that age/point, but if no one offers then you don't get to do the ideal thing, just gotta muddle thru instead.

lisad123 · 02/12/2011 18:44

Well if anyone would like to have mine, I would happily ship them with PJs Grin

LalasMama · 02/12/2011 18:49

My DD (nearly 2) goes to MIL overnight one night a week. They both love it. My DS (6months) goes every 6 weeks or so.
I sound terrible compared to you lot Blush

ssd · 02/12/2011 18:57

3 times - both of them have had sleepovers at friends AT THE SAME TIME!! -

in 13 years Sad

we have no family help, no one to take the kids overnight, and they are good, nice, well behaved kids too

any family near isnt interested in them at all the bastards

or way too old to have them

hurts when I read all the above "gran takes them once a week posts", but am used to it now

still crap though

ssd · 02/12/2011 18:59

LOL pippi, come rant with me Grin

headfairy · 02/12/2011 19:01

my ds didn't spend a full night away from me until I went in to hospital to have dd - he was 2.3.

DD has had two nights away from me in the 23 months of her life. Once for my 40th birthday, and once a couple of weeks ago for a party dh and I were going to.

ssd · 02/12/2011 19:02

exoticfruits, stick this patronising post where the sun don't shine, will you

"It is so hard for them when they get to school residential visits and they have never been allowed away from mum"

what about if mum has no one to take them? did that ever occur to you?

thought not Hmm

MudAndGlitter · 02/12/2011 19:07

Once every 6 weeks or so if I have a tutorial or need to sort out the flat. Or if my PND is really bad and I'm worried about shouting too much at them Blush

exoticfruits · 02/12/2011 19:09

I wasn't talking about those who had no family-I was talking about the ones who have family but won't let go.I am still remember the poor 11yr old who was in a real state about the school residential because as she kept saying 'I haven't even had a sleepover' and she happened to have family-just a very possessive mother.

SummerRain · 02/12/2011 19:10

other than the births of ds1 which was during the night...... never... and dp did get home at 2am that night so not sure it really counts. They're 2, 5 and almost 7.

Although ds2 did have 2 nights in SCBU after I was discharged and there was no parental accom so I had to go to my parents to sleep for a few hours overnight.... Does that count?

InmaculadaConcepcion · 02/12/2011 19:11

Not so far in the 22 months of DD's life. But her GPs put her to bed for the first time a couple of weeks ago (they stayed at ours) while DH and I went out and that went well. They adore her and DD loves spending time with them, so I feel quite comfortable at the thought of leaving her with them for a night. But so far the need hasn't arisen.

SummerRain · 02/12/2011 19:12

Forgot to add reasons...

My parents don't want to, dp's parents we don't want to, dp's sister hasn't ever offered, dp's brother has never even met the two yongest.

No other family.

ssd · 02/12/2011 19:14

ok, sorry

my ds is going on a residential visit soon and I know he'll be homesick, he's a real homebody

I'd absolutely love for him to have sleepovers regularly at grans/ inlaws and be a bit more au fait with being away from us, but they are either dead/uninterested in him/500 miles away so it wont happen

I hate hearing how mums get so much help then sneer at those of us who have none, but I appreciate you werent doing that

GrimmaTheNome · 02/12/2011 19:15

Never 'looked after' while DD was little - grandparents old and live far away.
First time away from us overnight was a school residential in yr5 IIRC. She had absolutely no problem with that at all, exotic Grin

Just about the only thing in the world I'm truly envious of is young-enough, near-enough GPs.

Ragwort · 02/12/2011 19:20

I would always ask friends if they would have DS overnight (and then we would recipricate of course) - we don't have family nearby either but have got friends who are happy to help out, DS was going to 'sleepovers' from about 4. I would rather have other people's children staying overnight than babysit at someone's house. My parents will come and stay but they live an incredibly long way away Grin. ILs dead.

exoticfruits · 02/12/2011 19:24

Sorry ssd-I get so used to people who won't have a night away from their DDs and are always fighting grandparents who ask to have them- that I forget those who would love it but don't have the opportunity.
They are all different-DS2 was still a homebody, despite overnights with grandparents.

MoChan · 02/12/2011 19:35

My DD is 4 and a quarter and I've never spent a night away from her. Both sets of grandparents live several hours away, and just after she was born I moved to a place where I basically knew no-one. So I've never really had people around much to do this with. She's never even been put to bed by someone that wasn't me or DH, and never been left with a babysitter!

flowerytaleofNewYork · 02/12/2011 19:40

"Just about the only thing in the world I'm truly envious of is young-enough, near-enough GPs."

Ditto! Although in my case it's just the near-enough bit that's missing.

exoticfruits · 02/12/2011 22:03

You can find babysitters! Join a circle, start a circle, ask at the local 6th form, advertise. I was a single parent without family near-I managed to get babysitters-other people are responsible and can cope with your DC.

ssd · 02/12/2011 22:22

flowery, ditto here too!

I don't mind folk being richer, thinner, better qualified, better job, better looking than me, BUT those with willing helpful gp's nearby have a whole different life to those of us with no support at all for years and years AND I am mightily jealous of them!

GroovyRach · 02/12/2011 23:56

Eh, after reading all these threads, is it wrong that I left DD alone with my mum for the night when she was 8 wks old...? I am a single parent and had a close friends birthday night out. No other option than to leave her with my mum (her dad lives to far away). I would have went back to my mums to stay as well, but she said she was happy to watch her and allow me to go home to my own house and have a full nights un-interupted sleep!!!

I did miss her, but happy to spend night away from her Grin