initiative to safeguard children from Facebook

[timetoask]

My 4.5 and 6 year old use our iPAD often, and so I am starting to investigate about ways to ensure they don't access something inappropriate by accident.
I came across this mums net thread, and I am horrified:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/child_internet_safety/1128657-do-not-let-your-children-use-this-website

Shouldn't the owners of FACEBOOK by held accountable for checking what people are showing on their site? You cannot expect parents to keen just a close guard on every single page that their children access?

I would love to contact Facebook to know what active steps they are taking to ensure children are safe. Would love mums net to start a campaign.

Does anyone know if there is an initiative of this sort yet?

"You cannot expect parents to keen just a close guard on every single page that their children access?"

Yes you can - especially if your children are as young as yours.

WTF?

Facebook is for over 13s

Children should not access internet unsupervised

Netnannies abound - set the parameters as high as you can

Children should not access internet unsupervised (oh I said that - well it's worth repeating)

Yes you should be responsible for what your children are viewing at all times, give them a separate, age-protected log in, supervise them closely or don't let them have access if you can't.
You are their parent, stop passing off the responsibility for their well-being to others.

Your DC are 4.5 and 6, why would they be anywhere near Facebook?

DC2 (4) is the only one of my DC who uses my laptop (DC1 not interested). SHe goes on CBeebies or NickJr sites only. Dont think she even knows what Facebook is. She is only allowed on for half an hour a day, and only if I'm there. Usually she sits in the kitchen with me while I prep dinner, playing Dora the Explorer games.

Are you talking about internet safely in general or just facebook ?

If facebook then they will turn aorund and say that you have to be 13 yrs plus to access /sign up for it , therefore not relevant to your children and you shouldn't have any conerns about your children as they are too young so that would be down to parents.

there are a few companies that go round schools and give internet safety talks -my DS school had one last term but they are at Junior school so this may not be happening with your DC.

Children should not be using facebook.
Children as young as yours should not be using the internet unsupervised.
It is not rocket science.

So no campaign from MN then I feel ?

Your children are very young, but I am more bothered that you feel elements of their basic safety and well-being are already something you can delegate to others.
'You cannot expect parents to keen just a close guard'
Yes I can, and not just on the internet.
It is not a responsible attitude for a parent to have, IMO, if you are to keep them safe and happy.

activate, I think your WTF response was uncalled for, really.

Let me clarify a few things:
1- Ofcourse my small children do not have Facebook access. I am thinking long term here. When they time comes that they have access to such sites, I want to make sure they will not come to see inappropriate things by accident.
Even when they are 15, I do not want them coming into wrong scenes by accident.

2- I would love to know how parents can check 100% of the content of a site being accessed and block it. IF there is a way please let me know. I believe you can ensure that they are accessing only certain sites, etc. But for example, the parent on the thread I linked to couldn't have stopped her children from clicking on that tiny chat link. This is what I mean by keeping an eye. This type of link should be controlled by someone from source.

3- The site we look at with my kids is utube for kids videos. I am worried that a video not suitable may come up. It has not happened yet, but it worries me to the point that I have disabled the internet from my iPad so now they can only use it to see our pictures.

I gather from your responses, that clearly you don't think it is necessary to ask the providers of such sites to ensure the protection of children (and young adults), but it should be 100% up to the parent. That is very interesting.

is it Facebook or U tube for kids that you have an issue with ?

You say you want to contact Facebook so posters have replied to that . Make up your mind who / what you want to protect.

You need at do alot more research I feel before calling for a campaign

Hi Avantia:
In answer to your question:

1. This little thread I have started was with regards to Facebook, because I am in total shock after reading that thread I linked to above and would like to ensure that when the time comes for my children to access it (I WILL delay it until they are 25 if possible!!!!), they are safe, even it it's 10 years away. I just don't want my children exposed to things they should not see.

2. How did I come across the thread I linked to?: because I was looking for ways to make my iPAD safer for my kids to look at utube in. I have therefore been reading the threads in this section of mums net.

I hope that clarifies? No I am not asking about how to make utube safe, that should be easy enough to find out and internet is blocked until said time.

Your DCs are very young-it is your job to supervise.

If you wnat a campaign you need to back it up with facts and figures not just I 'linked to a thread'.

and in words of Dragons Den ' I'm out'

Good luck

exoticfruits. what about if your kids are not very young? Is it still only up to the parent?

Facts and figures. Who can I contact to do this type of research? I certainly don't have the skills but would love to have this sort of data in order to start a campaign.

Of course it is. You protect your DC when they go out, warn them about stranger danger, what to do in certain situations etc. The internet is the same. I am astounded by people who let their DCs have their own laptop in the bedroom and then have no idea what is happening. Much better to have a family computer in a shared room, put blocks on it, check the history.Let them know that you are keeping tabs.

There are several iPad parental control apps available, including a free version of the K9 software and one from AVG. Some of them restrict by their own filter lists, others allow access only to sites/content that parents have pre-approved. I suggest you have a look at some of them - most have their own websites which explain how their controls operate.

I'm not clear on what exactly you want FB and other websites to do - the incident described in the thread you link to was presumably the result of someone misusing/hacking the tiny chat app.
If it was someone misusing the login of one of the child's friends, then there is nothing FB can do except to ban video chat apps completely. If it was a hack, then maybe their security needs to be looked at, but to be honest, Internet security is always going to be playing catch-up to the hackers; there will always be someone who is one jump ahead.

When your children are older?
School will teach them the basics of internet safety, both in primary and secondary, and they will have protected internet access at school. Which is not completely perfect, but better than unsupervised and unrestricted at home. Parents are often offered sessions and advice on internet safety from schools, which a few come to.
Children will have to learn to assess risk themselves, not click on dubious links and withdraw from an activity the second it becomes obvious that it isn't an appropriate site. The internet is not a safe place and never will be.
All you can do is monitor closely and discuss the whys and wherefores with your children as they get older, so that they see the dangers and avoid them.
However, many parents fail at even the basics, such as letting children have open profiles on FB. So the onus is on you to learn.

It is your job, as a parent, to protect your children. Facebook has something like a trillion users. There is no way for FB to patrol them all.

This responsibility continues right up until you feel they are responsible enough to make good decisions on their own, whether that is 13 or 25.

Be a parent. Don't expect the rest of us to be a parent for you.

The thing that I find most shocking is the number of children that have Facebook accounts at a very young age (DS is 6...several of his friends are on Facebook, and have sent me friend requests). But that is completely down to the parents, allowing children to lie about their age and date of birth.

DS's (Infant) school did several sessions on internet safety last year, after parents complained about the 'no photography at school events' rule. The one I went to was attended by no other parents and I understand that out of 350 children, 4 sets of parents attended the sessions.

Might be better to campaign to raise parents awareness of the dangers of the internet...DS's 6 year oldfriend has an open profile on Facebook and constantly updates where he is and who with, eg 'Billy is at [insert name of park] with Joe and Matt (other 6yos) Can't believe his mother is stupid enough to allow him to do it .

going to pool now... thanks for the latest replies will read when I come back.
Interested to hear your opinions.

Just to clarify: I will NEVER allow my children to have a Facebook account at least until they turn 13 or 14, but I still believe teenagers are very vulnerable and need protection.

The fact is families have laptops in our days, and asking the parent to sit next to their young teenager whilst viewing is not possible.

Predators are getting more and more savvy about how to get to young people, despite parents being vigilant.

My two are 20 and 16, DS has Asperger's.
I am aware that it takes time, effort and education to keep my children safe. It is tricky, but I still think that it is a parent's job.

People are over protective about their DC going out and relaxed about the internet because they are 'safe' at home.
There have been threads where people wouldn't let their 10yr old DC go to the cinema with friends, even though the parent takes and collects and yet the internet is far more dangerous than anyone they might sit next to in the cinema at a family film on a Saturday afternoon!

I agree.

I think it helps to think of the internet as a place, let's say the library. The library is a wonderful source of information and entertainment.

When they are little, you take them there, stay with them and help them choose what to look at/look at it with them.

When they get a little bit older you might take them there and let them choose on their own.

Eventually you have to just let them go there, choose and come home. You would only do this when you know that they are aware of strangers and able to choose something appropriate to read. You give them all the information you can and have to trust them.

You can't expect the librarians to pick them up, choose a book for them and drop them off, and you wouldn't want to stop them going all together. You can't control who they talk to and what they see, but you have to try to give them the tools to deal with it appropriately.

It's hard, but as parents that's our job.