Mumsnet Talk

my son aged 13 was talking on a website called tiny chat which you access via facebook.
now his 8 year old sister was in his room with him saying hello to my sons friend for a minute. when all of a sudden the chat screen changed and an asian male appeared on screen. he was masturbating and asked my son to do the same. my little girl started screaming that there was bad man on aarons computor,
i have notified the police etc and facebook and my son is now banned from facebook.

i also informed the school as so many of the kids there use that site the headteacher called an urgent assembly regarding it.
now all this happened last night around 6.30pm.
please be aware.
it is called tiny chat and is accessed by an application on facebook. check your kids fb accounts and if you see this app please remove and block it.
it was absolutely awful and a very frightening experience for all of us especially my little girl.

Oh not good

There really are some screwed up people out there are'nt there?!

I doubt it will have any lasting effects on your DD so would'nt worry too much about this but it is horrible to think that there are websites like this.

FWIW and I know it's hind sight but you should never add any FB applications even the stupid questionnaire and Farmville things etc as these can all easily be manipulated to gain access to your computer/control your computer or plant a virus. There are also apps out there which enter your photo's and can distribute them to some rather nasty people!

I only know this as I have a friend wo s a police officer and has seen all of this many, many times.

he isnt allowed t ouse fb anymore. i have told him if i catch him on it again i will remove his computer permanantly.

Oh I'm really sorry to hear that. must have been traumatising

you've taken all the right action

That's absolutely awful

That sounds terrible . Hope your DD is okay.

However, if your DS is 13, are you sure that banning him from Facebook is the best way forward? Wouldn't it be better to remove Tinychat and talk to him about not adding programmes like this, and what to do if he sees something inappropriate online? You need to make sure that he feels safe enough to come and talk to you about it if something similar ever happens again, and threatening to remove his computer if you ever find him on FB again sounds like the perfect way to ensure he tries to keep his online access a secret.

Agree with Bramshott.. Everyone, children and adults, are using facebook --- so many people communicate with their friends through FB it is very unlikely he will just stop using it.. He will just start using it in secret and that will create a barrier between you and your son.. Its not good to encourage dishonesty and if its easier to hide it from mum then it will be this and other things he will hide for an easy life..

Good luck with dealing with it!

If yo'u're set on telling your kids no, for goodness sake tell your kids why. If you don't tell them how dangerous it can be until they're ready, then they'll just want to do it more.

I let my kids have a Facebook account, but I walk them through what they can and can't post (like the internet and general) and I use Iglu software www.iceio.com. They can browse age-appropriate webspaces and I can limit the time they go onto Facebook till when I'm home.

soccermom
i do talk to my kids and i do tell them why they cant do certain things, he has not used fb since that incident so no i dont think he will be sneaking onto it.
i know he hasnt used it because i check his pc everyday, his account is deleted.
i can trust my kids 100%. none of them have ever lied to me regarding anything. my son has autism and is incapable of telling lies. i have never ever known a more honest child. if he is caught doing something he shouldnt be, he admits it straight away, if i suspect he has done something he will admit it straight away and if he has done something he knows he shouldnt have done that i am not aware of, he comes and sits with me and tells me.
we have a rule in our house that liars will be punished but telling the truth will not get you into trouble. consquently, our kids are extremely honest and upfront with us. a few of our friends ask us what our secret is.
also all our children (and their friends) come to us to talk about anything and everything freely, as they know they will not be met with hostility or judgment, we have a very open and honest relationship between us.

i received a call from my daughters school a week or so after the incident informing me that several other parents had had the same issue with this app on fb. some of the children who had viewed it were as young as 5. now what a 5 year old is doing with a fb account is beyond me but they viewed it. the police were notified again and as a result of some brilliant teamwork between the school, my son and daughter, and a group of parents including myself we managed to get the man in question caught and taken to court.
we received a letter several weeks later to inform us that he was part of a ring that were targeting children on fb and through the tinychat app also.
he is now spending time at her majesties leisure along with 6 other people.

i would appeal to anyone with children to not allow them to use fb at all and to encourage them to get out in the real world and play and meet up with their friends face to face, a lady that gave a talk at my sons school told us that she know of quite a few kids that are on fb from the time they arrive home from school to 11 or 12 at night! surely that isnt good for them? what about kicking a ball about or meeting friends, or going swimming?
where has real life gone?

I have just copied and pasted the OP on to my facebook page. I have seen my cousins posting a message on FB re tiny-chat so I hope their mum reads it.

Wow.

They worked fast to have the man in prison already if it only happened last night!

I do wonder why you felt the need to state that the man was Asian in your OP though, and if you are a foster parent you might want to get the name of your child deleted

The OP was written in January, 6 months have passed. It didn't happen last night.

Holy crap how awful

I know, but I think a lot of parents are not aware of what could happen, and it still could happen with some-one else. I wanted to make my friends aware of the dangers.