Arghhh! - I screwed up, what SHOULD I do??? Sorry long

[SpaGlorytoBlog]

My DD has just started going to ballet. She had a couple of lessons and said she really enjoyed it. I took her in the day after her 4th birthday and DS ran in after her. I caught up with him to find her crying.
I asked what was wrong and she said she wanted a hug. I gave her a hug and she kept crying. The teacher asked what was wrong but DD clammed up.
She eventually said she had a headache and we went home.

On the way home we stopped at a supermarket and she was dancing and prancing about - headache mysteriously gone...No matter how much I asked her, she wouldn't tell me what had upset her. I just got a load of silly excuses (ie her hands were cold)

DD is an outgoing and independent sort of girl, we have never experienced this before. We decided that she was still overtired from her party.

However, we went today and she walked into the room and her face crumpled at the sight of the teacher and said she wanted to go home.

I asked her why and she wouldn't tell me. I got her shoes on and we left. Another mum told me to keep perservering, but I can't see why I should drive out to this village to get DD dressed for a class she wont do.

I got angry with her in the car as she still wouldn't tell me why she had cried. I am afraid I snapped and said that I would sell the ballet stuff on ebay since she didn't want to do ballet

How should I treat this? Why won't she talk to me?

Thats it Bobbybob. If she considers being told to be quiet mean, then she's always going to get upset.
I think the teacher seemed nice
Taking her to ballet is a bit of a luxury as we a financially in a bad place right now.
I can't afford to pay for classes, drive out to this village and have her refuse to go in.
I guess I will wait until next yr and maybe look for nearer classes.

don't understand what you've screwed up at tbh

personally I'd find an alternative dance class. ... maybe one that is more for fun than actual teaching .. the local leisure centre ones tend to be pretty good I believe

she's going to find it hard (school etc) if she's upset every time someone asks her to be quiet in not-quite-the-way-she'd-like. It can be a matter of tone though, dd1's ballet teacher gets the girls to "hand over their chatterboxes" and treats them light heartedly until it really disrupts things, then she gets a bit tougher

Curmugeonlett, I screwed up the way I dealt with her. I got angry and told her that I was going to sell her stuff on ebay - made her cry - I was just unnecessarily nasty to her.

I asked at school today whether she gets upset if the teachers tell her off, they were surprised and said no. Only if a child is horrible to her.

I was glad to hear that, I think I would like to find a dance class where I can stay in the room really. Apart from anything else, I want to watch!

oh ok .. see what you mean .. yes we all do that .. I have previously threatened to throw DS in the bin

Spag-is it the classes in my village?

LOL! I threaten to throw DS in the bin when DD says she hates him. She soon starts panicking and saying that she loves him really. I am just a nasty piece of work

Fimbo, no. That is even further away from us now. This one is in Poringland.
How are you anyway!?

When dd gets upset over something ds has done (dared to touch a pen or something in her room) then I ask her if she wants me to take him back to the hospital and she can be an "only" again - then its "no, no, I love my baby brother". Bad bad mummy.
Spag I am fine thanks for asking. Where are you living now then? On the ballet front, does the room have big mirrors? There was a little girl who started ballet at the same time as my dd and she refused to go in the hall, I think it was because of the mirrors - it gives the impression that there are loads of pupils. My dd is not overly fond of the mirrors as she doesn't like looking at herself.
Don't beat yourself up - we all do it.

Nope, no mirrors.
We have moved to Lakenham...A socially deprived area according to the ACORN classification
LOL
Although DD is down to go to Mulbarton next year

I didn't realise you lived so (relatively) close to me...

Where are you Zebra? Although I think you've told me before!

I'm in north norfolk... my first British boyf. lived in Lakenham in Norwich (all those years ago...).