Do you/did you ^really^ 'know your baby best'?

[motherinfurrierfestivehat]

I didn't. My babies were a complete bloody mystery to me. And it's an equal mystery to me when so many MNers assume that of course mothers know their babies best, and can divine their moods and their health and whether they're ready for weaning and so on and so forth. How can you tell? Or is this just one of those Maternal Instincts I seem to have mssed out on?

I pretty much guessed my way through the baby days - sometimes I was spot on sometimes I was miles off (like the time she burnt her hand on the toaster & I didn't spot it until the next day - just thought she was crying cos she was hungry )

I might not be right all the time but I think I still know her better than anyone else!

I know the cry of both my children however with them as babies it's a case of going through the list till I get it right. DD is much easier now cause she is nearly 4 and can tell me what's wrong!!!

well knew my son was autistic a good 2 years before he was diagnosed (in fact the pros told me he "definitely" wasn't- and he is severe).

I knew ds3 was stroppy from an early age (he is).

With poor DD, no I didn't have an inkling. That's why I fell on Gina F. Gina knew. Lordy, I was so grateful someone did.

DS is a bit more transparent. It's very definitely not a matter of me being more clever/intuitive.

What a relief that I'm not the only one who didn't feel able to trust her "instincts". When DS was newborn had endless contradictory advice from professionals and having told me something proscribitive e.g. he needs forumula they then told me to "follow my instincts". My instincst and their advice didn't always match. So like most new mums I muddled through. Did what I thought/felt was right, sought advice from a few trusted friends and 6 months on my boy is a delight. None of it was instant or instinctive just time, elimination and a lot of "what the hell does that mean?" moments.

Oh no, there's no instinct involved! Just by learning over time and process of elimination do you get to know your baby. It really used to p* me off in the early days when people would look at ds and say, "oooh he's got wind.." Well sorry if I haven't got a clue why he's crying, I'm damn sure you complete stranger don't! When I asked for advice about night waking, etc.. I was asked "well what kind of crying is it?" and I'm like - I don't know, it's just crying! But then I'd feel inadequate when they assumed I would know what kind of crying it was and I didn't.
8mths on I am a bit more confident that I know ds better than anybody else, and I also think that people like to look at another person's baby and be able to say what's wrong with it even though they couldn't possibly have a clue!