Tips for new a mum?:)

[sarahhar]

Hi, my friend's having her first baby in October and I'm putting together a scrapbook of quirky/ fun/ unusual/ interesting tips for her baby shower. Anyone have any suggestions? Words of wisdom, to practical insider tips would be amazing. I don't have kids, so I'm clueless!

Thanks so much :)

every mum will probably at some point end up sitting on the kitchen floor with a crying baby, surrounded by sick, and crying herself. This is normal, nothing to be embarassed about, and something you should share with your other mum friends who will assure you this is ok to do. It doesn't mean you're necessarily Post Natally depressed - but more that you've just realised what a huge responsibility it is and that's ok. it's an adjustment process. x

A radio tuned to static makes white noise - cheaper than a CD or running the hoover. This didn't occur to me until after I had the CD delivered on a next day service due to desperation for sleep. It works wonders though.

A boy with long eyelashes will be mistaken for a girl.
When willies get cold they spray like an uncontrolled hosepipe. Let air get to the willie, cover with nappy, wait afew moments, then change.
After the bath, dry bum, put nappy in place, cream bum, do up nappy, then dry all over!

Just remembered my ds1 went through a phase of only falling asleep to mtv.

Ear plugs. Dh and I took turns on the night shift.

The night feeds seem to last forever and it feels like a living hell, but they are over so quickly. I sometimes miss that quiet, fuzzy time with only the sound of their breathing and noise of milk being swallowed. Also feeling pleased when I heard the sound of a large burp! My babies are 7 and 4 so I do look back fondly.

Don't listen when people tell you that if you feed them to sleep now they'll never go to sleep on their own. I fed DS to sleep until 15 months, then gave him a bottle before bed, then nothing (by his own choice). Now just story, song, 'night night' and shut the door. He's going to sleep on his own as I type! :)

IME they do things when they're ready. That doesn't mean you can't steer them in the right direction, but worrying about what I 'should do' took up WAY too much of my time. Advise your friend to just go with the flow for as long as she can - that would be my advice. It's hard but worrying about it makes it 10 times worse. And ENJOY! It's amazing. Tough (probably) but brilliant.

If it's really cold put on socks before putting on a babygro. I would never have thought of this if someone hadn't suggested it to me.

Also, tights are really good for baby boys too in icy weather, under their trews! (and they don't fall off!)

Tiny babies like to be held, invest in a sling or baby carrier. My baby bjorn was a lifesaver, you can do everything with your baby attached, even go to the loo!!

Oh and if breastfeeding, make sure you have put your boob away before leaving the house or answering the door

If you're going to get a sling (a great suggestion!) go for a wrap sling, they're much better for your body and - importantly - your baby's body, as they spread the weight evenly.

Strappy ones like Baby Bjorns on the other hand put a lot of pressure on your shoulders, which can hurt as your baby gets bigger. Also they support your baby by balancing them on their crotch, which isn't great for growing bones.

I used to love my Baby Bjorn too until it started to hurt, I learnt about the crotch thing, and I tried a wrap sling, soooo much more comfortable!

Sorry to jump on the Baby Bjorn thing but I'm really anti-them now as the company must know they're not the best design ergonomically, and could be bad for your baby's bones but they keep on selling the same design as it makes them money. It makes me cross!

Repeat the mantra "these things will pass, these things will pass" ad infinitum, even if it's through gritted teeth.

Try really hard to relax as much as you possibly can.

Trust your instincts. Pay attention to your body and your baby. Do what feels right.

Housework is for losers.

you need to learn the im listening face as you ignore steadfastly
most people talk mince and want to impose their preferences upon you.feel free to ignore and discount

plan going back to work.dont be a mummy martyr
get out daily
buy best pram you can afford

online grocery shopping and get them carry it into kitchen for you
order take away once week
sleep when you can

relax, try and enhoy it as much as poss, and you will learn everything you need to know as you go along.

Buy a bottle of lactulose. For you. Have some asap after giving birth. That first post labour poo hurts like buggery. (I would imagine )

Oh I wish I had read some of this advice before I had my baby! It makes me sad reading this that I will never be doing this for the first time again. It's such a special time.

threefeethigh, I would add to that that you need to make sure you're using the wrap sling correctly. I carried my baby in a Kari-Me for months with his legs dangling out the bottom, and it wasn't until I went to a sling meet (and was told he was far too big for a stretchy wrap which was why my back ached) that I discovered the material should go from knee pit to knee pit to support him properly. I had been crotch dangling and yet feeling all smug about now using a baby bjorn...

Forget the lactulose, makes you fart, get a good magnesium supplement instead, it's an excellent laxative.

Persevere was breast feeding if you can (it's far easier and cheaper), but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work.
If you have a brain find your local NCT bumps and babies (of course you have a brain you joined MN ). You need some adult conversation and even tiny babies seem to like a change of scenery.
Toddler groups are nerve wracking with your PFB two year olds look huge.

Learn to breastfeed lying down, and co-sleep! That saved my sanity and meant I started getting lots more sleep as I didn't have to physically get out of bed / sit up to feed the baby. I now just put the boob in his mouth when when he starts looking for the boob and he never fully wakes up / cries, and I usually doze off too. My DS is 4 months, and feeds several times in the night, but this way I get almost a full nights sleep and feel rested in the morning. My DH now sleeps through the night too (!)

Wash their bums in the sink when they've done a poo! A lot less faff than cleaning up a massive BF baby poo with wipes and getting poo all over your hands / the mat / your clothes / their feet etc. Also better for their skin!

When changing a wet nappy (for boys especially), put on a clean nappy underneath the current one (as though you are putting on two nappies for your baby), and then once you whip the old one off, you can do a quick wipe and the clean nappy is ready to be put on. It's also there as a quick shield to prevent getting a spray of wee in your face / hair / baby's face / the walls / the sheets / the floor.

Take a baby moon! We didn't have any visitors (except grandparents) for the first 2 weeks. If you have family close by, make full use of them. My mum came over during the day for the first 3 months, and it meant she could watch DS while I had a shower / ran out to the shops, and I felt a lot more normal and could enjoy the baby a lot more. And it was nice having some adult company too!

It's never too early to start reading books to your baby, but colourful board books are more sensible than elaborate stories. My DS at 4 months prefers his books to any of the toys he has. I would have never thought of getting him board books, and was suprised how fascinated he was by them at just a couple of months.

Enjoy this time! They grow so fast. My DS seems to be learning a new skill every day and I already can't remember the days then his tiny baby clothes were too big for him!

Ooh one more thing I would have done different is to get bamboo nappy cloths (just like the old terry cloths) instead of muslin cloths. A lot more absorbent and softer on their skin.

And when co-sleeping, get small fleece blankets to put baby on, so your sheets stay clean despite the puke / pools of drool. You can then wash the blankets regularly so baby gets a clean place to sleep every time. They also dry very quick.

If having a CS I would strongly suggest taking 200mg of nurofen every 2hrs during the day rather than the 600mg every 6hrs. After they help you out of bed have someone spot you while you get up and down at least half a dozen times. It hurts like hell but my obn had me do it to help move gas around. First 'solid' food was activa yoghurt (again obn advice) and it helped move things along. Drinking lots of warm water with lemon also helps.

Keep your camera charged up.

Keep a swash bucket to put stained baby clothes in to soak. Much harder to get dried stains out...

I have learnt in the past 48 hours...

You may feel like the happy contented and smiley baby you gave birth to and held for 48 hours in hospital, who everyone commented upon her calmness is NOT the same baby you bought home with you!

She has to get used to her new environment and your home timescales...BUT she will learn and eventually you might get more than two hours sleep in one go

Kampa you are lucky to be getting 2hrs of sleep at a clip in the first week. I was getting 20mins at a clip as baby wanted to eat every 2hrs due to my lack of milk production. Now on formula and able to get 1hr at a clip. On the start of day 10 now and I am eagerly awaiting the day DD goes 3hrs between feeds.

What knockedupmell said. The co-sleeping and bf lying down is a lifesaver, and laying them on their own little sheet is helpful to as babies are messy!!

All this teensy baby chat is making me broody again and DS2 is only 7 months old - look out DH

Oh and just thought of another - use Mumsnet and chat to others in the same situation as you. There is always someone getting less sleep etc than you and it makes you feel soooo much better!!

Don't try to be perfect, it doesn't work as a medium or long term strategy. Be yourself, not supermum, your baby will love you for it.