Tips for new a mum?:)

[sarahhar]

Hi, my friend's having her first baby in October and I'm putting together a scrapbook of quirky/ fun/ unusual/ interesting tips for her baby shower. Anyone have any suggestions? Words of wisdom, to practical insider tips would be amazing. I don't have kids, so I'm clueless!

Thanks so much :)

Try to enjoy it! It goes so quickly, one minute you are lost in the depths of trying to look after your first little newborn and the next minute your oldest is at pre school and your youngest has had her first birthday and you start staring longingly at other people's babies

Oh, and remember, IT GETS EASIER!!! The actual WORK involved doesn't decrease, in fact it increases, but your confidence and capability grows and grows and grows as time goes on.

1. The harder you expect it to be, the easier it is.

1. The less you expect from your children the prouder you will be of them when they achieve something.

If in doubt, feed.

When the books say that babies feed every four hours, they lie. Either that or they don't lie, but neglect to tell you that babies like to feed for three hours and fifty-nine minutes at a time...

You will find your own way, on everything. Do what works for you.

If BF, you will spend a lot of time on the sofa and there will be times when the feeding is relentless. Record some good programmes, get some good snacks in and lots of water and enjoy it, you'll never have that time again.

It goes too fast.

The best bit of advise my mum gave me was 'nothing last forever'.

What she meant was, when things aren't going how you think they should eg. baby cries all the time or poohs all up it's back every nappy or baby is sick alot.

It also applies for good things though: You brag that your baby is sleeping through the night or your baby eats anything you give them or (for older children) they always say please and thankyou.

But when you're going through the bad stuff, remembering that 'nothing last forever' can keep you going.

The mumsnet mantra isn't 'this too shall pass' for nothing.

Take it easy for 40 days. Yes, it has to be 40 days. The law.

Parents fib about when their baby sleeps, how long they sleep for, when their baby rolls over, when it can sit etc.

When someone says to you 'sleep when the baby sleeps' and you think, 'I've got so much to do..'
...try to ignore your thoughts and SLEEEEEP!
the housework/washing/ironing/ etc. will not get worse while you sleep, but you can only function properly if you are rested.

Also, accept any help offered for as long as you can. Don't be a matyr and think you should be able to do it all, getting help does NOT make you a bad mummy! wishes I'd taken my own advice

martyr not matyr!

• listen to advice but trust your own instincts.
• don't be too had on yourself to 'get it right'.
• remember that every bad stage is just a very short phase and baby will pass through it very soon.
• try to establish a good sleep routine early on (problems otherwise!)

i won't go on............ {smile}

how do emoticons work ? (puzzled face)

is this better

yes, it worked. im going now

don't compare with how other babies are doing - their parents are lying
don't listen to what anyone else says - your way for your baby is fine
don't iron anything
accept any offers of help for anything!
sleep where and when you can - the housework can wait.
babies leak excessively from both ends but if it is crying a lot, try holding it the other way up
doing the poppers up wrong on a Babygro is not the end of the world
when you first try and trim its nails, you will draw blood. this is normal. you will cry for hours and think you are the worst mum in the world. this is also normal.
Babies are tougher than you think - they are not made of cut glass.
Finally, don't get pregnant again!!!!!

If baby is a girl, you MUST buy her a hairband and insists she wears it from day one.

If baby is a boy, you MUST put him in a babygro labelled, "Little Tyrant/Sod/B**std etc.

How well you will be received by your new chums at the NCT.

Oh, and ensure whatever pram/stroller/travel system you decide on, ensure it can be pushed with one hand, whilst the other if free for holding fag/texting/WKD.

I agree with people here, other people feel so inclined to bombard you with advice- Do it how YOU want to

I thought of another one.

Don't critisize (sp?) your dp when he does something with the baby just because it's not how you would have done it. You'll knock his confidence and different doesn't make it wrong.

If you have problems with breastfeeding contact La Leche League

They have a helpline you can ring if you need to.

Another vote for letting DP do as much as he can/wants and even more , and also, to not criticise him, as says the wise mo3d. Men do things right sometimes, and it is easy to forget it is as much his child as yours.

A feed is the answer to all crying.

Baby moon, keep baby snuggled in your bed and the milk will flow! Drag it round malls in a car seat and it won't flow as well.

Request community midwife every day, she will try to miss days but breastfeeding support is essential I think.

Go to groups too if you can for extra support.

Read up on vit k, better to be aware of it before the birth.
Enjoy this time, the last few days as a pair and the early days as a family, subsequent babies are lovely but your first is extra special!

The cuddliest babies ever are wrapped or slung babes. Visit natural mamas site and invest in a good woven wrap, better than a pram by far!

It's normal to have awful technicolour visions of terrible things happening to your baby (eg dropping it down the stairs) - don't worry, you aren't mad and it stops for the most part after about 6-9 months.

Ime it is NORMAL for babies to feed non stop. When they say a baby feeds 3 hourly this equates to;
1am: baby latches on after a while faffing. Feeds for ages
Baby poos
Baby won't settle
Baby feeds
Try to put baby down
Baby wakes
Baby feeds
Hold baby for eternity
Put baby down
Lie down
Sleep for ohhhh 10 minutes

Its 4am and baby needs fed again - yay!!

It sounds horrendous and it is to an extent and not all babies are like this BUT its wortth it and adrenaline keeps you going a lot as does just admiration and awe for the new little life you've created.

What else...
Use a dummy if you want /have to but imo try and keep it to sleep times from the start
Use infacol and if that doesn't work use colocynth granules
When changing a boy if their willy suddenly stands on end they're about to pee
If the baby has nappy rash then I find bepanthen works best
You can never wind a baby too much
Take photos - they change so fast. Videos too.
Make sure you have calpol in the house for when baby is a bit older
Try and get out as much as possible
Don't worry about germs and people (gasp) touching the baby - when I had pfb ds he was wrapped up in cotton wool - dd bless her is exposed to all ds's germs and she's ok (touch wood!!)
Always trust your instincts and if a doc makes you feel like shit for questioning something get another opinion
Don't spent a fortune on little outfits for newborns - sleepsuits and vests are the way to go

That's all, for now!

Do NOT sit up at 2am after you have finally got your baby to sleep, thinking that now you must try and express.

You will get 5 mls, have a minor breakdown about how you are failing at breastfeeding because you can't pump more than 5 mls at a time.

Expressing is NO indication of how much your baby gets whilst at the breast.

Wish I'd known this....

Sleep, sleep and sleeeeeeep when you can. Sod everything else. You can do that in 5 mins bursts while you and your baby are awake, content and rested.

Make sure you get showered and face washed/moisturised as soon as is possible. If this is 2.30pm then great. It will make you feel a bit better.

Remember, your baby is never going to be this portable agin. Pack a change bag, and keep it stocked. If your baby is screaming for no reason that you can decipher, buggy/sling and out you go. The screeching is never as lour/awful outside.