Tips for new a mum?:)

[sarahhar]

Hi, my friend's having her first baby in October and I'm putting together a scrapbook of quirky/ fun/ unusual/ interesting tips for her baby shower. Anyone have any suggestions? Words of wisdom, to practical insider tips would be amazing. I don't have kids, so I'm clueless!

Thanks so much :)

Oh and forget all this nonsense about stocking up on frozen meals. Bleurgh. Do you like eating frozen curry now? No. Exactly.
Just get lots of Kettle's Chips in.

And what AliGrylls said:

1. The harder you expect it to be, the easier it is.

1. The less you expect from your children the prouder you will be of them when they achieve something.

Get your dp to make sandwitches for you to eat in the day.
Have some mugs ready with tea/ coffee/ hot choc + suger waiting on the side. This way, all you have to do is boil the kettle

If they're crying, they're probably hungry, if you're sure they're not hungry and they haven't got a dirty nappy then they're tired and need to sleep. Dummies are good! If overtired stick them in the baby bjorn or the buggy and try not to get them used to sleeping on you (unless you want to of course).
You can quite easily give them a bottle very early on (all three of mine had a bottle from a week old) and express from v early on.

Find out when parent+baby groups are locally beforehand. Also all sources of breastfeeding advice especially drop-in places, and any other sources of support like baby weighing clinics - the books are often wrong when they say 'you will get regular visits from a MW' - in London it's one if you're lucky!

Do an internet shop pre-baby. This means you can later simply hit 'repeat order' or 'favourites' and do the shopping in under 5 minutes. Quiches are good no-effort meals.

Sleep as much as possible. Sod the housework, it can't look any worse after a while.

Keep wipes, nappies, baggies and spare clothes in the pushchair. Then you're ready to chuck baby in and go at a moment's notice. Doesn't matter where you go, but cafes with old people to coo over your baby are nice.

Even if you are planning to breastfeed 24/7, buy a tin of formula, bottles and sterilising equipment and learn how to make formula up correctly and how to use the sterilising equipment.

It's easy to work out when you have your head together... you don't want to be doing it for the first time at 2am when it all goes very wrong and you have a screaming infant on your hands. Hopefully this won't happen, but be prepared.

Having formula in your cupboard won't jinx your breast feeding attempts. That's a myth.

Oh, and if BF, don't leave it too late till you try a bottle of expressed breast milk or formula or mixed or you may have problems getting little one onto one later on, and a bottle gives you a break.

Newborns don't need elaborate clothes. Both my DS wore sleepsuits for 3 months :)

A white noise CD, the hoover or a hairdryer are great tools for getting an overtired baby to finally fall asleep.

Get out for a walk at least once a day, fresh air is good for you both and the exercise will help you too. Being at home with a newborn can get lonely so get yourself out the house.

Trust yourself, and enjoy spending the early days just getting to know your baby. You will both be happier and more relaxed for it.

Muslins are your friend.

You may well think you have gone mad - you haven't. All new mums border on insanity, and the ones who say they didn't are lying.

Expect to feel guilty about EVERYthing.

Muslin squares. Muslin squares. Muslin squares.

Grandparents will drive you up the wall with advice, be kind and listen but don't let them take over. It's your baby.

Eat well and sleep when you can.

Give breastfeeding a shot ;)

That breastfed babies don't have spaced out 'feeds' in the early days, the first few weeks are one big long feed- but it won't stay like that forever.

The ultimate though - is not to stress about much, as everything they do is just a phase. Am telling myself this constantly today as dd2 is a shit sleeper- yawn!

Imprint some special memories in your mind. I'll always remember my first night with ds1 in hospital where I sneaked him out of cot and cuddled him all night (even though it was my second sleepless night).

Keep little treasures like the hospital band he wears and make an imprint of his tiny hand and foot when he is still tiny (I waited till my kids were 2 and it's not really the same!).

Give BF a go. It is hard work but definitely worth it. Make sure you have a feeding bra that is supportive and you can work easily and try and get a reasonably pretty one if possible so that you still feel a bit womanly! Oh and try and get washed and dressed - it does wonders for your self esteem.

I agree with Smilsey - and would add buy as many breastfeeding bras as you can afford. It can be a messy business.

1. Borrow lots of DVD box sets or buy a digital video recorder. Babies can breastfeed for HOURS at a time. This is normal. If you don't do this, you'll end up watching international donkey wrestling in the middle of the night. Even more scary your brain will be so mushy from lack of sleep that you'll find deal or no deal fascinating.

1. Sleep whenever you can.

1. If you start to find deal or no deal fascinating. It's time to GO OUT. This is stupidly scary. It will take you hours to get all the baby's shit together. And then you will find yourself sauntering down the street on a hot june day with DC in 3 layers and a fleece snowsuit. And no sun hat. That's OK as you'll do it better next time. Don't forget to take a photo.

1. Sleep whenever you can.

1. Never buy baby clothes that do up at the back. The psychos that design them must really hate parents.

1. Sleep whenever you can.

1. It's OK to let your DH/DP spoonfeed you while you do one of the hours-long breastfeeds, but watch out he doesn't drop bolognese in the baby's ear. Ditto cake crumbs in one of the huge number of new coffee shops you are about to discover with your baby pals. I've often wondered how many hearing problems are caused by bits of rotting food.

1. Housework can wait. A bit of dust never hurt a baby, in fact it's probably good for their immune systems. And housework gets in the way of.... you've guessed it... sleep. Ditto thankyou cards. People will be completely happy to get thankyou cards three months later. After you've had some sleep.

1. Dawn is lovely. Make sure you point that out to your DC because by the time they are old enough to really appreciate it they won't be awake at dawn every day any more.

10. Don't beat yourself up for not enjoying it as much as you thought you were supposed to. It's bloomin hard. But very very lovely!

Remember that EVERYTHING is a phase, good & bad.
And 4 hour cycles of feed, play, sleep for a baby (and repeat ad infinitum..)

In a similar vein to above post: get some photos of them 'in context' to show how tint they are like in the middle of the bed with the whole bed, or with their head on your hand. You forget just how tiny they are when they're strapping 5 yr olds!

erm... I meant TINY

Find out where your local breastfeeding support group is and visit it BEFORE you have your baby. They are warm friendly places where you can share a laugh & experiences - not just for problems.

If you have never held a baby before, try to find one to practice on. Gets your hormones heading in the right direction. (Visiting local bf group can help with this!)

My best tip: Baby Gap socks are the only ones that will stay on a small baby.

"And 4 hour cycles of feed, play, sleep for a baby (and repeat ad infinitum..)"

But if your baby wants to sleep not play after eating (like so many of them) then go with it, this is absolutely fine!

Just mentioning as aftereight is referring to the baby whisper book who advocates this 4 hour cycle, which works for some, but not for others, especially if you baby wants to sleep after eating. There are some strong sleep hormones in that there milk you know!)

Do what works for you, basically. You are NOT a failure if your baby doesn't want to follow a routine from a book. S/he has not read any of the books!

Mornings are for snoozing, cuddling, snuggling, nuzzling and breakfast in bed (for you and your baby). And maybe a nice soak in the bath. NEVER plan anything or try to leave the house before midday for at least a few months.

Don't worry if you don't get everything right - the baby's not going to tell anyone is he/she?!

Nobody has written a book about you and your baby.

Never get to despondent or too smug, whatever your baby is doing, it's just a phase.

Keep some cereal bars next to your bed, for when you are starving hungry but too tired to move.

Go to every mum and baby activity going. You can always choose not to go again, but you need friends and you never know where you'll find them.

If you are planning on going back to work, book into childcare asap! You are not a bad mother if you want or need to work.

New friends with children the same age as yours are as valuable old friends. (I have mummy friends who range in age from 24 to 43, and we all get on well - common denominator, 2.5 year olds!)

Before baba is born, find out where you can buy nappies locally. And get the numbers of local BF counsellors and/or NCT breastfeeding line.

Visitors only welcome if they come with pie and/or cook a meal.

Invest in a good push chair and make it a priority to get out of the house with the baby, sometimes even when you don't feel up to it. Made a massive difference to my PND.

Give breastfeeding a decent shot. It may seem impossible and cause a lot of discomfort in the early days, but it becomes second nature very soon.

Record important milestones somewhere. Your foggy pregnancy brain may cause you to forget many over the years.

Don't feel inadequate when you see other mums (celebrity and non celebrity) who seem to have it all together. You'll get there very soon. Be kind to yourself!

Vests go down as well as up. Very useful after a poo explosion when you don't want to take the vest off over the baby's head. An extension to this is don't use any vests that don't go down or those will be the ones your baby will wear when the poo-splosion happens!

I'm on DS No2 ans I had never thought of that

*If anyone tells you what you are doing "wrong" with baby, justsmile sweetly and say "It's always easier to raise other people's children"