Does anyone else constantly run a sort of Good Parenting tally in their head?

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

Because I said this to my husband this evening and he looked at me like .

On the days when I'm at home with DD (2.5) I have this constant refrain in my head; well, we've made homemade playdoh and gone to the park and had an Educational Outing To The Post Office (o god what has my life become) but then I let her watch TV for half an hour over her allotted amount so I can play on the internet, really there's no excuse for that, how much fresh air has she had today, did the gardening include enough actual running around exercise or should we go for a walk as well and the muesli bar probably wasn't the best morning snack but I guess it had fibre in it.

I get to the end of the day with a mental report card; diet, exercise, improving activities (right proportion of crafts, life skills and imaginary play), proportion of my time spent paying attention to her and encouraging her appropriately vs telling her to hurry up/calm down/be careful/oh for goodness sake child.

Am I entirely insane or do all mums do this? I'm feeling entirely insane, reading this back.

Yep I do this lol!

Cat98, my DD just leaked the information that they do watch TV at daycare (also 2 days a week) and more than I knew about. Which, dammit, is going to mean that I have to cut TV out entirely on those two days, and down on the others.

Kveta - you are entitled to as many complaining sessions as you like, that sounds absolutely exhausting. I have a mostly angel child - doesn't take physical risks, doesn't throw tantrums, responds to reasoned explanations why she has to/can't do something, and sleeps through the night, and I am still exhausted after an entire day with her.

Doitnicely, that's the three things I mostly balance, but does that mean they should be doing one or the other all the time?

Does chocolate count as one of their five a day ? - It does contain cocoa
How about fruit juice lollies ? - or fruit shoots ?

not thought to tally up the good stuff but i definitely mark my imaginary report card if dd watches loads of telly/i give her ice cream/let her eat something not at the table.

my tally today would be excellent; no tv whatsover, park, got dd to eat all her dinner, no junk only fruit and 3 story books chosen by her after which she went to bed with no problrm - HA! this was a nursery day!!

I don't tally up anything!!

BUT they must laugh - real belly laugh- every day.

Oh and they must be told every day how gorgeous and loved they are - don't have to tally it up - I'd lose count. :)

Gosh, I'm feeling inadequate. It genuinely hadn't crossed my mind to even think about most of this stuff. Generally if I'm looking after my DC (I work PT so it's not always me doing the caring), I just go about my business, they come too, and we try to fit in some fun stuff like visiting the park or playing with friends. I hadn't thought to try scoring it all.

I noticed my youngest has just started taking an interest in the telly (he's 16 months). I thought it was sweet when he was banging on the glass, noticing the pinky ponk thing (or is it a ninky nonk?), gawd, I now know that this is a manifestation of my failure.

I did this a lot with my first, but eased off with 2nd, and now don't have time to think with my 3rd, so don't do it anymore! I do think mothers put too much pressure on ourselves, and we should all do our best to relax (as much as we possibly can!)

I do this.

And it means I go to bed every night feeling like a Bad Mother because I didn't do enough.

Today DD2 watched Peppa Pig nearly all morning because I had to do the housework.

I am a failure.

Oh, fabulous, my neuroses are on Discussions of the Day. Thanks, MNHQ.

Heartened to know it's not just me, though.

I do this - food, sleep, TV etc etc

i imagine this like Bridget Jones diary:

fags:0
fruit shoots:2
tantrums:none so far.

doing v. well, shame about the fruit shoots at this time of morning.

Eggy, that's fantastic, that's dead on.

"Minutes in fresh air: 35 (good)
Minutes of cBeebies: 60 (v bad, am turning into lazy couch-bound Jeremy Kyle-type-person)"

I do this as well, although with 4 dc's and a chronic illness I'm just glad if they've been fed, watered, have homework and practice done, are clean and in bed at the right time.

Whatever you do, don't read 'how not to fuck them up'

Mine are older so no I don't worry so much. I do get annoyed if I shout too much but I always apologise. I'd suggest having another dc if you can, you don't have time to worry so much

I do this too. For me, it keeps me going during bouts of depression. I have a tally for me too which makes sure I eat properly and exercise.

I've just gone through today's in my head and I had no idea I obsessed so much! It doesn't really take me any effort, it just keeps me from sliding into ready meals and constant TV. I don't feel guilty about the less good stuff I just try to balance it with crafty/educational/going out.

Probably did similar when ds1 was a baby but not now. I just do what I can to get through the days! Have 2 under 4 and they must get out in the fresh air by 10am or will be driving me crazy - its this fact rather than guilt that propels us to the park, soft play whatever. I also know that they must be tired out by bed or wont go down well. This motivates me to do afternoon activities. Other than that I dont analyse it. Just dont have time to!

I do a lot of this too, must be fuelled by guilt in my case as I work full time... reluctantly...
However, things got a lot better recently when we had our first parents evening and we were told by DS's carer that he is doing really really well. We asked if there's anything we should do more of / different at home (ie. reading etc) and we were told "no, whatever you're doing at home is perfect just keep doing it, he's a brilliant little boy"

Still beaming with joy since then - it was a couple of weeks ago! :)

Well, I am officially the biggest loon on MN.

I Write my tally down.

Its on a whiteboard in the kitchen, not quite a spreadsheet but a list with five bar gate tallys. it get wiped on a sunday to start again

it currently reads

1. COOK MEALS IIII

5 a day iiii protein ii calcium iiii

1. DD1 (nearly 3yo)

OUTSIDE ACTIVITY I CREATIVE ACTIVITY III STORIES/ MUSIC TIME IIIII 1-1 WITH MAM IIII POTTY SUCCESS - WEES= POOS=

3.DD2 (24 weeks)
TUMMY TIME I
EXPRESS MILK IIII
1-1 WITH MAM II
NAPS 111

1. HOUSE

HOOVER III DISHES II KITCHEN FLOOR I WASH DRY CLOTHES II BEDS BATHROON 1=I 2= II BINS I

I know its crazy but it really makes me feel a sense of achievement. if i have done loads it shows and i feel better. I wasnt like this before dd2 though- i was very relaxed, but having a 2nd brought feeling of guilt that im not doing enough with the 1st and I found i was exhausted and the end of days an d couldnt figure out why because i hadnt DONE anything. the chart is there and i can ssee that in fact i have. I'll have to wean dd2 soon so goodness knows how many more sub-heading that will bring

God no. I worry about their education and the future almost constantly though! Mine are 3 and 6 and I am already obsessed about secondary schools. I can't seem to just enjoy them.

I totally used to keep the tally thing, but now I work and DH is stay at home dad and, you know what - he doesn't worry about this stuff. I'll say 'what did you do today?' and if it's been a crp day, he'll just say they did nothing or kids watched tv . so, now I try not to ask coz I feel guilty that he doesn't feel guilty and that kids aren't getting enough 'quality interaction' or I feel guilty that I'm nagging him when he's doing his best...so no-win situation
Then I watch stuff on TV where parents don't seem to give a dan, so I think, maybe I shouldn't beat myself (or DH) up about this and should just chill coz we do our best

Completely sums it up for me.

Dh doesn't do this though I am sure and yet I often think he is a better parent than I am.

Tortoise, sorry, but you are now officially my mothering guru. Recently, my days have been measured by the time of day at which I COMPLETELY LOSE MY SHIT and today, I am sorry to say that it was before 6am. But I'm going to count that as a do-over and move on and see if I can do one or maybe even two positive things to reflect upon by the end of the day. Although I should note that today is a nursery day so it is cheating a bit.

Kveta I feel your pain, mine's two as well and has a massive tantrum every hour on the hour. Close your eye and say with me "This too shall pass, this too shall pass" And good luck with the bathroom floor. We've just redone our house and it's hard work but it is so nice at the end.

oh god yeah!! making sure she has her 5 a day, fresh air, and enough mummy daughter time every day is my main priorities but she's 6 and doesnt really want to spend time with me so im always on a guilt trip for that one from myself. im always asking what she had at school so i can work out whether to give her the 80 percent fruit jelly sweeties or a bag of apples and grapes then reminding her the twins across the road are playing out and would she like to play with them then come in lets play connect 4/jim rummy/jenga and am mentally ticking them off as i go!!

so glad im not the only nutterbutter