what are the reasons for NO smacking?

[hermykne]

I AM CURIOUS to know, folling the other thread, as my dd is so bold at the moment nothing gets thru to her, even putting her in a time out room for 2/3mins, shes 3. she will keep on screaming and then hit something or push something over.
can last 40mins and no matter how you go over the matter with her when shes calm, she doesnt seem to learn anything,
and i suppose smacking will not make her understand either...
but what does smacking create or instill in behavourial patterns in yours opinions?

Sorry - whether it is "controlled" or "un-controlled" I still believe smacking is physical abuse.

In some ways it's worse if it's controlled (pre-meditated)- then it's a case of "well I'm going to hurt you and you deserve it" rather than "oh god, sorry, I just lost it for a minute, I would never deliberately hurt you".

I can't believe this is still going. Smacking is not abuse any more than taking toys away is theft.

Like I said WAAAAAAAAAY down this thread....

People are getting a hysterical about this. I would say having a child circumcised non-medically is categorical abuse.... Much worse than smacking..... but ho hum.

And "withdrawing affection/attention" can be defined as emotional abuse. Isn't that wrong too?

Any "punishemnt" is designed to "teach" the child - and they do also upset the child.

I know my onw ds used to get extremely distressed by being sent to the hallway (our version of the nuaghty step - he went on to the steps if still didn't behave).

And I will still defend the use of a tap - the purpose is not to hurt but to shock. Have you never "tapped" someone's fingers away who is stealing, say, the chopped carrots you are preparing - or, worse, your last Rolo! If you were the cuplrit, you wouldn't wali that you had been beaten - you would snatch your fingers away as you knew you were doing something wrong.

And one final point: the "pro-smackers" have made mention of the suitable age - most have said that stop around 5-ish (I know I have), as other forms of discipline are now more effective.

And ds has never been hurt by a smack (I've just given myself a smack of the type I gave him and no, it doesn't hurt: I can feel it, but that is all) - I've probably "hurt" him far more on those occasions (again when he was younger) when I had to hold his hand in a vice like grip to stop him running away in a shop, and he was wriggling hard to escape.

I agree PB the 'tap' I have given or smack since I have done it on the leg/bottom is more for schock value than to hurt. That is all.

My kids are shocked by it, but not hurt. Others have said the phyical holding of their hand could hurt more. It is NOT about hurting them, it is about shocking them, in our house it has never been about humiliation that others have mentioned.

Like a number of us have said, we have used it as part of a bigger picture, we have all also said that beating/clouting/hitting hard is worng.

And please don't bring up cicumsision as a form of child abuse that is a subject too far (I am jewish as are others on this site, I will direct you a previous thread where it was all thrashed out) so please can we agree to disagree on this one. Thanks

Crunchie - Just don't understand why its acceptable on MN to accuse parents of abusing their child if they slap the back of their hand to discipline!

Regardless of whether it offends people or not.... this site doesn't seem to give shit about my feelings.... why should I pussyfoot around any issue!

Many subjects have been thrashed out here many times..... doesn't mean they are banned.

Just hypocracy pisses me right off.

Not for this thread... but the C word distresses me as much as smacking is distressing some people on here.

Its all a bit hysterical and taken too far IMHO.

I have slapped The Little Demon's hands only this morning (aged 23 months) because he was pulling on the gas pipe that connects our oven to the gas bottle, and I slapped them to make him let go. The same when he is pulling his sister's hair with a vice-like grip, I slap his hand to make him let go.

This is as far as I'll go. Usually I only have to raise my voice to make them stop dead in their tracks (I can be very scary! ).

I teach my kids not to hit people, so I don't hit them as a kind of example to them. I also want to show them that not everything is resolved with smacking or hitting people.

Sackache I am not saying we should ban a subject, I can cope with being called a child abuser on this thread as can the others posting, as we are quite confident we are not abusing our kids. I know that the c word is close to your heart too, and your feelings are clear on that one (you were M2T weren't you?) but I also remember the real upset that thread caused. Like I say please can we agree to disagree on that subject, that's all.

BTW it is not acceptable to say us pro-smackers are child abusers tbh, yes there are some out there who are, but they are not posting here. There are also some child abusers who don't smack - see examples on this thread already

Can I just bring some love and happiness in at this point?
C'mon everyone, hold hands and let's sing!
"Chriiiiistmas time! Mistletoe and wiiiiiine!
Children singing Chriiiiiistian rhyme!
With logs by the fire and gifts on the treeee
It's time to rejoice and have a cup of teeeeea!"

Thankyouverymuch!

This thread is causing upset too though. As does the Breast v Bottle..... SAHM v WOHM..... they still happen. Don't really see why that should be any different..... but then like I said before.... thats for another thread.

lol Cliff. I love that song.

Personally I feel that few anti-smackers would fail to agree that CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell deserves a damn good smack for beinging that song into it.

Yeah I'm wiiiiiiirred for soooouuuuund!

cliffrichardsuckseggsinhell you really are a
devil woman

Sackache I know what you mean, but I think all the pro-smackers here are not really getting too upset tbh, just frustrated that people are not seeing the difference between abuse and what we are doing.

Like you say, it's for another thread and is TOTALLY my PARP subject that I will NOT post on

Can I just ask: what does "PARP" mean?

It means "I feel very strongly about this and it really raises my blood pressure BUT I've posted loads on this topic before and offended lots of people and I'm just not going to go there again so instead I'm going to PARP!"

ie sound a hooter
not fart

Or been offended by others veiws, hence for me circumsision is such a PARP subject

wow I still I'm still (along with others) being called a child abuser...... !

so you condemn all jewish people then sackache?

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPppAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaarp

PAAAAAAAAAARP
Enid... yes... and I feel sad when a Jewish boy is born. Said it all before as Crunchie said.

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP

Crunchie, I think most people can see the difference between using smacking as part of a discipline strategy and abuse, can't they? They're just saying they wouldn't/ don't want to use it because that doesn't work for them.