What's a normal age for children getting their first mobile phone?

[greencolorpack]

Ds is ten. He has a friend at school who is always on at him to get a mobile. Ds says "All the children at school have one." This has never, will never, be an argument that works on me, I need to have other factors to convince me to go down this road.

Further questioning: I said, "What do they all do with them?"
Ds: "Use them to make prank calls and play games."

I said "If we got you a mobile it would be cheap and not very good, probably no games on it at all. It would be functional. It wouldn't be like mummy's phone (my one has all the bells and whistles, internet access, games etc). If I get you a phone it won't impress your friend, the boy with an I-Phone."

Ds: (mutinous expression).
Me: "Would you take your phone to school and show your friend?"
Ds: "No. It would stay at home. But my friend would ask me all about it."
Me (pragmatic to the end) "Okay so lie to your friend that you've got a HTC Desire. He will never know. Give him my number, you can borrow the phone and chat to him whatever."
Ds: "No, I want my own phone."
Me (despairing) "If you had a mobile of your own, I'd spend my life saying "No playing with the mobile, you can have it later for twenty minutes, just like all the other technology in the house."
Ds: "No I could play with it whenever I want because it would be my phone."
Me: "You're in cloud cuckoo land if you think just because it's yours I will let you play with it whenever you like."

I cannot get ds to pretend my phone is his phone, he is getting hassled all the time by his friend and here's me and daddy being all hard as nails about him owning his own mobile. I don't like small bits of technology, my children are constantly walking off buses leaving scarves, hats, cameras behind, a mobile would be no different. And NO WAY would he get to play with it all the time. So my decision at the moment is "no" to mobiles.

So what is a good age for a mobile and what is a good phone to own? I mean a really basic cheap one? Should I say no his whole life and teach him the value of refraining from materialism? Or does he need to learn just what a hollow promise phone owning is through his own experience?

Sorry, not quite sure what your point is, Capiche?

I don't think I've ever said that life would stop turning if we didn't have mobile phones. Not sure the relevance of what you're trying to say here...?

youngjoly " what would happen to the hundreds of girls who live in my village and other local villages in our area if they did not have phones."

life would go on

Please read my sentence in full...

"I'm citing the example of what would happen to the hundreds of girls who live in my village and other local villages in our area if they did not have phones".

It was not a question, and so does not need an answer. You are misrepresenting the point I made.

I think you're all confirming my point.

Mobile phones make teen's lives more convenient. They do NOT make them safer. And I worry about this feeling that somehow a mobile phone is a magic shield against harm.

Children need to learn how to be independent, self reliant and resilient. And they won't, if they never have to think beyone mum's phone number.

Sorry, I can't agree, Seeker. You haven't yet said how walking home in quite possibly dangerous roadside conditions (such as the one I described) would be just as safe as phoning and getting a lift home.

When I asked you to do justify this, you avoided my point and talked about your daughter's journey home instead.

I'll accept your point when you can justify how walking home 5 miles in the dark, on unlit, 60mph country roads is safe.

I think I said that I don;t think there will be many people in the same position as your child. I agree that there are extreme situations where missing the bus would put a child in a dangerous position. But I really don't think there are many people like that. And EVERYBODY, wherever they live, talks about having a mobile phone for safety reasons. I wasn't avoiding the issue- but hard cases make bad law, to coin a phrase. I absolutely agree that a 5 mile walk along a dangerous road in the dark should be avoided at all costs and yes, a mobile phone does make your child safer. But so would a working pay phone at school. And most people are not in your situation.

Missing the bus would have put me in a dangerous situation at age 15/16. rehearsal finished at 9.00pm. if I was one of the first to leave and ran to the end of the street I got the 9.20pm bus into town. I then had to wait at the bus station for a bus into the next town which usually got me in at around 10.00pm. The last bus out to my estate left at 10.20pm. If I missed that then it was a walk through town to the entrance of my estate where I had to walk along a lonely canalside to get to my street.

Not having access to a phone box would have meant that my parents didn't feel it safe enough to attend rehearsals, therefore I would never have kept up my drama and would have affected my entire life as I know make a living running drama classes.

And I live in a city, not the middle of the country.

But you are not describing the normal life of a 12 year old!

Yes of COURSE there are exceptions. But i stick to my point. Having a mobile phone does not make the average teenager safer - and may, actually, make them less safe.

It does, obviously, make their lives much more convenient.

Okay what about this scenario? A girl got raped at 4 pm very very close to my DCs school, it was in a very narrow patch of woodland. My DCs to get home either have to pass that area or walk through another similar patch of woodland.

My DD has a mobile, I told her if her friends for some reason hadn't waited for her, or other circumstances meant she was walking home alone not in a group she was to phone me. There are no phone boxes near school. The school switchboard is shut by 4 ish. Without her mobile she cannot phone me, it takes 1 hour for her to walk home normally, so the school switchboard is switched off before she normally arrives home. So without her mobile I cannot contact her, and she cannot contact me.

That is just one reason she has a mobile, but it is the reason I pay for some of the top ups.

BTW we live in a town, she does have money for a bus, but that also means waiting by the woodland where the attack happened (the criminal still hasn't been caught). I also have friends whose daughters travel by train, and their mobiles help where there is a problem on the trains.

I see where Seeker is coming from. If a perpetrator is quick enough MT, your DD won't have time to get her phone out before he's over-powered her. Your DD needs to have her wits about her to spot the guy before he gets that chance. That's her number one defense.

But given that random attacks by strangers are still utterly bizarre & highly unusual, the phone can still be very useful for minor safety and coping issues. I don't see a problem with appreciating that aspect of them.

I totally agree with Lljkk and seeker there, that once a child is in a risky situation, a mobile phone won't stop a child getting raped, being abducted or whatever.

However, that is not to say that they don't add one iota to safety. In my view, they can help prevent a child being put into a risky situation. In a society where public phones are no longer readily available, mobiles can sometimes be the only way to prevent a risky situation from occurring.

For children who live around here, it would be to prevent them walking down narrow country lanes. For elpha, it would have been not walking home alone late at night, for mummytime, it would be to prevent her child walking alone over deserted scrubland. The scenarios may vary, but the essential point does not.

TBH I think the mobile phone companies use the safety angle to sell phones. One company developed a pink teddy phone aimed at toddlers, which I think they had to withdraw, but it was marketed as the concerned parent's answer to safety fears about their toddlers. Only a reckless parent would deny their toddler one.

It's a very clever marketing ploy to imply that parents who are concerned about the safety of their dc must provide them with a mobile phone.

It completely masks the fact that mobile phones probably do give children brain cancer - if they use them frequently, and for anything other than short calls.

In my post I wasn't saying the phone is for her to call me when she is being attacked. It is for her to call me if she needs to come home alone (especially in winter, and if the after school crowds have dispersed). Then she can wait at school until I can collect her or get a safe taxi to collect her. (There is somewhere to wait at school until 5, and the school itself is not deserted until much later.)

Also let be honest the way teenagers use phones is to hold them in their hands a long way from their head, most of the time.

Tram, did you see the research by mobile phone companys into use of mobile phones... and it showed that with younger teens mobile phone calls are predominantly used by children to contact their parents. At about 14, it becomes 50/50 usage - half used to contact parents, half used for socialising with friends and then as they become older teens it then becomes predominantly used for social calls.

I am interested though, why you state that mobile phones "probably give children brain cancer" when the WHO have only said there is a "Possible link". Of the 5 categories they could use - probable link is one of them, and they have rejected this category of risk. I'm not arguing here, because I don't know enough about it... but I am interested why you think it is 'probable' when the World Health Organisation says not. Is there something I don't know about...? (Genuine question btw, as I have always assumed WHO to be the most reliable source in such matters, but I may be totally mistaken in this, and if I am, I would like to know )

This is the link I read...

here

I am now also worried because it has categorised the risk the same as coffee. I drink tons of coffee. Should I be worried about that too?

You probably do know that drinking tons of coffee is bad for your health. Especially to be avoided when pregnant.

You also wouldn't give a baby coffee in its bottle. Nor would you give a young child coffee.

I often think people are kidding themselves

I don't want my children frying their brains - i won't risk that - whilst it's possible to remove that risk - i will

Glioma is not nice

There's tons of anecdotal evidence among people who've been directly affected by brain tumours that mobile phones are implicated. However, anecdotal evidence is completely discounted, and for every ten research studies showing evidence of harm, the mobile phone industry will pay for twenty to be done, and publicise only the ten which show no clear evidence of harm. Overall result: no clear evidence of harm. So no harm, then.

I agree with you, Capiche. I have seen much of the effects of brain tumours, and it's not the cancer I would choose to die of, if I had to choose one.

Is there any cancer you would choose to die of?

I got through my teenage years without a mobile - we all did - it was the 80's. We used the phone in our friend's houses. Most people still have those. Once in a while I was stuck somewhere and had to be resourceful about what to do. Mostly though I made a plan to be picked up or dropped off or meet somewhere I it all worked out. I don't have a mobile myself, I live in a rural area, so far it hasn't mattered at all. They are useful (I used to have one) but life is perfectly possible without one. Especially when you are a child.

RE walking down country lanes at night - where are they walking from? A friend's house? Either arrange to be picked up or call using the house phone. I have seen teens wandering about texting or chatting completely oblivious to things like approaching traffic - not at all convinced they make people safer. they just mean they can be less organised and parents can have a false sense of security.

But aren't you assuming that they have come from a friend's house / somewhere with a phone...? Remember, it gets dark in Winter at 4:00, so doesn't have to be late at night.
I could imagine any one of the following scenarios where a phone might be needed...

• Missed public transport home from school (if there is no school catchment bus) especially, if there is a wait for the bus, bus stop is at some distance from the school, occurs after a detention. (and so switchboard down etc)

• Missed public transport after an activity or class. If this occurs in a hired hall, and again if there is a delay in waiting for the bus or it is at some distance from the bus stop, then it is reasonable that after the activity finishes, there will be no one at the hall.

• If the child needs to get on more than one form of transport to get to school. For example, some children catch the train and then a bus to get to school. If one is delayed, it may affect the ability to catch the next form of transport.

• Due to be walking home / getting lift with friends. They leave the child behind.

• If the parent can't get to the child. Its not just about the child needing a lift, but if the child was due to be picked up from and one of the above scenarios, and a parent couldn't get to the place where they were meeting, then a child / teen could be left stranded. I'll give you a real example. A boy I know is going to Grammar School in Sept. To get there, he will be driven 1/2 hour to the bus stop and then catch the school bus for 1/2 hour journey. From the bus stop, there is no direct bus home. If the parent is late / in trouble / breaks down and can't contact the child... then...?

No - we live in a very rural area and there is no public transport here. Also minimal mobile reception so landlines more commonly used in emergencies anyway. I'm talking about primary and early teens, not older kids. I guess when your options are limited you are more careful/organised/resourceful. Only one child at the local primary school has a phone until Years 5/6 when more have them - but not all. So peer pressure less and I do think that is very significant no matter how much parents justify it for other reasons. Not saying the reasons are valid in some circumstances but certainly plenty of children have them just because everyone else does regardless of how much travelling they do alone.

I can't really say when is right for who to get a cell... when I was that age no kids had cell phones, but I do know that you can get ones that you as a parent have to program numbers into, I think its 3 or 4 numbers so that they can get ahold of mom, dad or whoever they need to. That way you know its not for social reasons, its for safety reasons. If that wasn't an option and I were to feel a child needed a cell for safety reasons I'd go pre-paid and keep it at a limit, and if they go over they have to pay for it. BUT thats only my opinion...

Vodafone UK

vodafone phone