What's a normal age for children getting their first mobile phone?

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Ds is ten. He has a friend at school who is always on at him to get a mobile. Ds says "All the children at school have one." This has never, will never, be an argument that works on me, I need to have other factors to convince me to go down this road.

Further questioning: I said, "What do they all do with them?"
Ds: "Use them to make prank calls and play games."

I said "If we got you a mobile it would be cheap and not very good, probably no games on it at all. It would be functional. It wouldn't be like mummy's phone (my one has all the bells and whistles, internet access, games etc). If I get you a phone it won't impress your friend, the boy with an I-Phone."

Ds: (mutinous expression).
Me: "Would you take your phone to school and show your friend?"
Ds: "No. It would stay at home. But my friend would ask me all about it."
Me (pragmatic to the end) "Okay so lie to your friend that you've got a HTC Desire. He will never know. Give him my number, you can borrow the phone and chat to him whatever."
Ds: "No, I want my own phone."
Me (despairing) "If you had a mobile of your own, I'd spend my life saying "No playing with the mobile, you can have it later for twenty minutes, just like all the other technology in the house."
Ds: "No I could play with it whenever I want because it would be my phone."
Me: "You're in cloud cuckoo land if you think just because it's yours I will let you play with it whenever you like."

I cannot get ds to pretend my phone is his phone, he is getting hassled all the time by his friend and here's me and daddy being all hard as nails about him owning his own mobile. I don't like small bits of technology, my children are constantly walking off buses leaving scarves, hats, cameras behind, a mobile would be no different. And NO WAY would he get to play with it all the time. So my decision at the moment is "no" to mobiles.

So what is a good age for a mobile and what is a good phone to own? I mean a really basic cheap one? Should I say no his whole life and teach him the value of refraining from materialism? Or does he need to learn just what a hollow promise phone owning is through his own experience?

No, not joking at all. Not talking Iphone or Blackberry. But a decent, nice looking phone with a camera. 20/30 quid's worth.

Why would I be joking?

If he's going to be using it to make prank calls he certainly doesn't need it. I would be furious if I was spending money for one of mine to harass people.

All mine got them about 11ish.

Mine's 10. She was given an old phone of my husband's when her friend, also 10, got a phone for when she went away to Germany without her folks. She has not exactly taken to having a mobile. She hasn't come close to using up her initial £15 credit. She's never got it with her and she doesn't make a fuss about it...bit like her mum really :) Another girl in the class is obsessed by her phone, but she lives apart from her dad, he doesn't speak to her mum, so the phone is a tool that keeps them connected. If he wasn't such a tool, she wouldn't need a phone!

I think they need a phone when they start going out alone.

My DD (7) has one. But round here, lots of children go out to play. Children are fluid and whilst DD might go to the park with friends, they might decide to go on elsewhere... This used to leave DD in a dilemma - to go off with friends (not allowed) or to stay at park / walk home alone (also not allowed). Now, if friends change their plans (which they are allowed to do - DD is not), then she can call me and check. She does use it to call me, and see if she is allowed to go to Xs house with friends / go to a friends for tea / Go to the park / stay out later etc. She has never used it to call anyone else. She has a £10 phone, but it is pink so she is happy.

If she didn't go out to play, then she wouldn't have one. But on a typical play day here, she could go out at 10am, eat lunch at a friend's house and rock home at about 4pm. Throughout this time, she would keep in touch via her phone. The downside is when I get chosen to host lunch and 4 kids turn up wanting their lunch .

I don't mind though, as it is a proper 1970s childhood, with the freedom that I had as a child - just with a safety check included!

Becasue seeker when i was at school and caught the bus to cross town to get to my piano lesson which was round the corner from my grandparents house if anythng happened (missed/late bus etc) there would be a phone box I could call my parents to update them so they would know where I was.

Have you tried finding a working phone box recently - I have.

DD1 got hers four days before she started secondary school. Didn't even contemplate giving her one earlier than that.

Seeker I was one of those who used the bus as an example of why my DD has a phone. You're quite right that we managed without them when we were kids as did generations before us but that doesn't mean having one is a bad thing (I was against it but for different reasons). Having a phone lets my DD have her freedom (within reason) without me having to worry about where she is and who she's with. Why wouldn't you take advantage of that once they're at an appropriate age?

youngjoly - why does the phone make her safer?

MissRead - how does the phone lwt you know who she's with?

Oh seeker you are picking holes now in what people are saying.

I'm not picking holes!

I'm just curious. My children have mobile phones and, while it makes my life easier because we live in the country and it means I know when to pick them up from the station I don't for a single moment think that they are safer because they have phones!

In fact I would be prepared to argue that they make them less safe - simply becuase they give an illusion of safety. They don't make plans, or really think about where they're going or what they are doing becaue they've got a phone.

How many times have you heard a teenager say "Don;t worry, I've got my phone"? What does that actually mean?

I don't think children should have phones, I am only 28 so when I was at school mobile phones were only just getting common, not many of us had internet at home and Facebook was a glint in the creators eye. I lived in the countryside and if I wanted to speak to my friends outside of school I begged my mum to use the landline. I had a horse too and would go off riding for hours with just a 20p in my pocket if I got into trouble. Now I cannot believe that things are really all too different today (apart from there being no coin pay phones).

Also the bullying aspect of it too, my mum could not afford to pay for an iPhone or Blackberry and TBH I don't find the need for one now so have no idea what a child needs one for. As for Ipads - come on, I dread in someways if I ever have a family as there is so much now that we are expected to provide for them that we never had or needed.

I can only agree with it where DC is at a school a bus ride away from home, my bus ride was an hour and bus regularly did not turn up and all the teachers just left us there stranded. Then a cheap PAYG and when the credit has gone then chores for credit. If they want a better phone they save for it. I am horrified at friends who's DC ask to use their CC to pay for stuff over the internet as though it is their god given right to have these things. Not to mention how poor teachers cope with mobile phones in schools.

Seeker, It makes her safer because...

1. If a stranger tries telling her that I have called her home, she knows that is not true. I always phone / send a text - never send messages with people. She knows all strangers would be lying, full stop.

1. It allows her to implement the other rules that we have... to always check with me when and where she is going. Some of her friends are older and have more freedom than she has got. So, it stops her being left alone. She can phone and check. If she can't go with them, I can go and collect her. I remember when I was in her situation, I used to just go off anyway.

1. If she is in a situation and she doesn't know what to do, she can call immediately and ask for help (and indeed she has done).

1. She will never be left alone - if she is, I can go and get her and she can stay on the phone to me until she is in sight, if the situation needed it (although I doubt it, as we do live in a very safe rural community).

1. If she is in a situation where she is feeling uncomfortable or needs help, she can call for help immediately. For example, when her bike broke a few weeks back and she couldn't push it home very easily, she phoned and I went to get her.

Now, yes she could come home - but we do live 3/4 mins from the park (which is why she is only allowed there with friends), so for her to come home and get me doubles the time I could be there.

The main thing for me, is that she doesn't get left alone. Studies consistently show that children are more at risk on their own, than in groups... so I would rather that she stayed in the group than on her own. But at the same time, I don't want her going off where I don't know where she is. However, at the same time, I cannot control what other children do and where they are allowed to go. This way, I can try to keep my child with the other children (statistically safer), know where she is (statistically safer) and have a method of her being able to contact me if she needs to. Interestingly, I remember doing a child protection course and the issue of an older child being left alone was raised. The key question we were told- could the child get help if needed? That changed my view on Mobile phones. My answer to that is yes, via a phone. Not so easily if not.

And yes, I do remember years ago getting by without mobile phones, but I also remember sitting at the station for over an hour at a time because the train my husband was on was delayed and he had no method of contacting me. We survived before them, but that's not to say that life was better for not having them. After all, we survived for years without dishwashers and washing machines, not sure I'd like to go back to not having one now though!

"In fact I would be prepared to argue that they make them less safe - simply becuase they give an illusion of safety. They don't make plans, or really think about where they're going or what they are doing becaue they've got a phone.

How many times have you heard a teenager say "Don;t worry, I've got my phone"? What does that actually mean?"

Although don't assume a false dichotomy, here.

We have a phone as an added safety measure, not instead of. As well as having a mobile, DD also has boundaries, safe houses, password system (for known people only, and only when she hasn't got her phone), check in times, rules for who she is / is not allowed to go out with and so on...

The Dept of Health advice is that children under 16 should only use mobile phones for essential calls, and only for very short calls. Like it or not, there is research going on into possible links to brain tumours. A precautionary approach is only sensible; but the govt makes so much money in taxes from the mobile industry, it won't publicise its own advice.

Still, parents should be aware of it.

Although, it also advises that cordless phones as they also present the same risks... that's not advertised either. (A link someone posted to earlier said mobiles had 5x risk of tumors, cordless house phones 4x the risk)

DDs mobile is only used for emergency calls... it is actually the cordless house phone that I worry more about as DD does spend time talking to grandparents on that.

Who has a cordless phone though...?

who has a corded phone though...?

We do, because we know the risks.

"Oh, and Tesco basic is fine - my dd has friends who are genuine friends, not people who judge on what a person or their phone looks like ." . Long may this continue!!

I think that the health worries are less of a concern now becauae kids actually make very few phone calls - so the phones are rarely anywhere near their heads. Repetitive strain injury to the thumbs possibly.........

They shouldn't carry them in pockets near important body parts (eg testicles) while they're switched on. Easy enough to have them switched off, though.

This thread is a terrible admission of the pressure parents are under (me being one of them). DS13 wants/needs a Sony Xperia Play phone. It's ONLY about £45 pounds a month on contract, what's the problem?

So far, he is still using his present one which is adequate for the purpose. I will not give in to bells and whistles until he gets a job and pays for it himself. BTW I have no bells and whistles (well, a whistle for the kids).

Whatever happened to tin cans and string

or smoke signals.

dd went out for day out with friends, despite me texting to say text me, she doesnt.
or she texts me from school to say can she stay later, when i am at work and am not picking her up

a mobile is only as reliable as the person who uses it.

however i get mine there mobiles when they start secondary.
dd3 has my old one if she is out, so i can ring her to say come home now.

can anyone advise me on contract phones? are they are good idea.?

I have two children between 13 & 16 .. phones are both a god send and a chore, because you buy them thinking you can contact them and tbh they only pick up if they want to be contacted anyway! .. but at least you know that if something happened they do have a little more chance of contacting some help..

Having an "amazing" phone is what they want but can be good and bad .. yes they fit in (probably for all the wrong reasons) and secondly they are obviously objects of desire so people (i know in my childrens school anyway) have gone about stealing them from people.

I can't understand why anyone would buy their kids an iphone just to fit in.. life isn't always rosey and we can't always have what we want.. thats how the world of debt has got so big!

I've been wondering the same thing, dd is 6 but does two activities a week where I leave her and go off so it might be no bad thing for her to have one in case there's an emergency or I'm late collecting her.

I have a spare (cheap) mobile that I bought dp from my network for the free calls but he never bothered switching his number over. It could be a good idea to give it to her with hardly any credit but part of me thinks she's too young to be starting with phones already.