What's a normal age for children getting their first mobile phone?

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Ds is ten. He has a friend at school who is always on at him to get a mobile. Ds says "All the children at school have one." This has never, will never, be an argument that works on me, I need to have other factors to convince me to go down this road.

Further questioning: I said, "What do they all do with them?"
Ds: "Use them to make prank calls and play games."

I said "If we got you a mobile it would be cheap and not very good, probably no games on it at all. It would be functional. It wouldn't be like mummy's phone (my one has all the bells and whistles, internet access, games etc). If I get you a phone it won't impress your friend, the boy with an I-Phone."

Ds: (mutinous expression).
Me: "Would you take your phone to school and show your friend?"
Ds: "No. It would stay at home. But my friend would ask me all about it."
Me (pragmatic to the end) "Okay so lie to your friend that you've got a HTC Desire. He will never know. Give him my number, you can borrow the phone and chat to him whatever."
Ds: "No, I want my own phone."
Me (despairing) "If you had a mobile of your own, I'd spend my life saying "No playing with the mobile, you can have it later for twenty minutes, just like all the other technology in the house."
Ds: "No I could play with it whenever I want because it would be my phone."
Me: "You're in cloud cuckoo land if you think just because it's yours I will let you play with it whenever you like."

I cannot get ds to pretend my phone is his phone, he is getting hassled all the time by his friend and here's me and daddy being all hard as nails about him owning his own mobile. I don't like small bits of technology, my children are constantly walking off buses leaving scarves, hats, cameras behind, a mobile would be no different. And NO WAY would he get to play with it all the time. So my decision at the moment is "no" to mobiles.

So what is a good age for a mobile and what is a good phone to own? I mean a really basic cheap one? Should I say no his whole life and teach him the value of refraining from materialism? Or does he need to learn just what a hollow promise phone owning is through his own experience?

We are getting DS one now (he is 10 next week) because DD is starting a new school and it means my journey to collect him (after collecting DD) will be longer and I might get stuck in traffic. I know that I could call the school or another mum but we think DS is showing enough signs of maturity that I can call him directly. He knows that he will be getting a cheap £10 phone that will be on DH's work contract which means that calls to my number and dad's number will be free.

How do you all feel about the health risks?

Do you reckon:

• they don't exist
• they are negligible
• you've got to die sometime,

or what?

All three put together tramlinky

^^ wot Bella sed

DD is 10 and has started going out to friends houses/library/local shops without us. That was the trigger for me.

Really, some of you are still in the 1500's.

Get with it people!!

Mrs Guy of Gisbourne. If that had happened at my children's school the school would have called me (they provide packed lunches for trips though anyway)

Well, there are quite a lot of press reports about the risks. Likethis one.

I'm just surprised most people feel OK about ignoring them.

McKenzie - but surely he would not be allowed to have it on in school for you to call to say you are going to be late anyway.

At the dc's school they wait with a teacher until you are seenthen if you havn't arrived after 10 mins they are sent to after school care (and you are charged if you havn't already paid)

Tramlinky i am worried about the risks but then i had asbestos mats in science at school which we used to hack bits off of with a compass and play with. Similarly i worked with some pesticides in the 1980's now banned. I try and instill in my children the need to be sensible. i would sooner they text than phone as it then isnt next to their brains but the thought of an 11 year old waiting on her own in December at a rural bus stop because i have had a problem and couldnt tell her to go in her mates car doesnt bear thinking about. Why is it different now than when we were kids? Because my mum like nearly every other mum at my school in the 1960's didnt go to work and was either at the gate picking me up or waiting at home so if i was late she would come and look for me. I don't like mobiles but they are a necessary evil.

You can get her to use a headset as well, Mummymeister, and only to use the phone when essential, and then only as briefly as possible.

That's a reasonable precautionary approach, and it's not much to ask of young kids.

The mobile phone risk is often compared to asbestos, X rays, cigarettes etc. All of those used to be used willy-nilly and for fun, and it was claimed that cigarettes were good for your health. Now we know different.

My DS is 8, he won't be getting one for a long time. Too much open to abuse. Also, he can have one when he can afford to pay for the calls. I'm not paying for him to talk on the phone to friends who live round the f*ing corner. Got better things to do with my money thanks.

Totally agree tramlinky but you are mixing the useful - x rays and phones - up with the completely pointless e.g cigarettes. Asbestos was widely used in buildings up until the 80's and remains the best fire resistant material per square foot cost. However, its a balance like with phones. I do take reasonable precautions with my kids and one of those is making sure that if they are in the middle of nowhere on a winters evening that they can contact me and i can get out to help them rather than waiting for some nutter to pick them up in a car and drive them off.

Yes, it's just a comparison of things which were deemed absolutely and utterly safe - asbestos, X rays, and cigarettes - to the extent that you could shove any of them down a child's throat, as often as it amused you to do so, and it would do no harm at all.

DD1 13 has a very basic phone that goes to school (her bus can be a bit random and some times I need to get a message to her)
She wanted a posh phone, but then said she didn't want to take it to school, which defeated the point. She and DD2 therefore have iPod touches that go everywhere, but school.
DD2 10 wants a phone, but she will be silly with it and run up a bill. She is waiting till she goes to senior school, email & landline will do till then.
I am a CHP cruel heartless parent

Yes, mine have iPod touches which do most things kids do with their phones, except actually make calls.

I don't know why you are all justifying yourselves saying well dd/ds has a basic phone. If you want them to have a singing all dancing phone then so be it. It is nobody elses business.

Right, I am done with this thread as I cannot believe how many of you are on your high horses about such things.

If the research into the longterm effects of mobile phone use do prove conclusively that there is a link to increased incidence of brain tumours, then the public health consequences will be massive. It will affect all of us, including people whose dc have not been using mobile phones from an early age.

elphabadefiesgravity, DS will have to hand it in to the office manager first thing and collect it again at home time. Currently, he is allowed to call me from the office if plans change or he forgets something - I'd be happy to continue with that for school issues but if i have to call to say I'm running late, I don't think it's fair to involve the office staff for that. I don't ever intend it to be the case but I'm aware that there are bound to be some days where accidents happen on the roads that affect my journey beyond my control.

I think my DS has had one since he was around 8, needed it to say when he needed picking up from an activity in town, or on holiday when he need picking up from the kids club. Had my old Nokia then I think. After that I got another new one on contract and he had my old Samsung z400, which he still takes on a PE day (phones go in a box in changing room) now he's at high school. He feels no embarrassment about that. He's got his own touch screen phone now and wants a smart phone, but I've said to him that he never rings anyone as he always speaks on t'internet instead.

When he has more need of a better phone I will get him one. I reckon that will be when he's about 18!

Tramlinky do you drive? Do you drive your children in the car? Do you eat only organic food from sustainable sources? Do you take airplane flights. Yes, i have read the long term research and yes i am worried but it is a balance. Yes of course it will affect all of us but i don't fly and other peoples carbon usage through flights is affecting me as is there insistance on eating food flown half way around the world . But there it is - life is risky. Like bellavita i have had enough of high horses and am folding my arms.

Our DSs have only had very basic phones. Mainly for the reason that it would stop anyone from wanting to steal them. They still have the same ones and they are now 21 and 18. They are just not interested in fashion, thank goodness.

DS1 got his phone for his 11th birthday which is in November, this was with the thinking that the novelty would have worn off by the time he started secondary school the following September. When he started secondary school he definately needed it, he has a 15 mile bus journey and the bus goes through periods of being quite erratic and it is very handy to be able to text him and tell him to go straight home or get off at a different stop if I am in the area. He can also call me when the bus doesn't turn up or is very late. To the people who say to let them use phoneboxes - have you seen one recently 'cos I surely haven't!!!!

He got a very basic phone to start with and when I upgraded he got my castoff which was actually pretty funky apparently. His basic one has gone to DS2 who is 8 and he completely ignores it and has so far failed to use his £10 credit in 6 months and it just sits in his drawer.

Our school obviously has totally different systems then.

If I was running late it would be no good calling the dc on a mobile phone as until I arrive they are in the care of the school and so are not able to have a phone on.

At 3.30pm the children are taken to the entrance and parents wait outisde in a little courtyard. A teacher stands guard at the exit. After 10 minutes all uncollected children are taken back inside the school and handed over to the after school club staff who communicate via radios to reception. As far as I am aware they are not allowed phones in aftercare either and no child is allowed out without a parent/designated adult to collect them.

So no need at allto have a phone until secondary.