DD2 cries so much,don't know what to do.

[Mirage]

I need a shoulder to cry on.I'm really struggling with DD2,she is 5 months & seems so unhappy all the time & unless she is eating or sleeping,is very unsettled & cries nearly all day.I know she would like more attention,but I have a two year old dd1 to cope with too,so can't sit & hold her for hours.She seems a very bright baby & is frantically trying to roll over & crawl,so she may be crying from boredom/frustration-I just don't know anymore.

She gets very tired & fights sleep like you wouldn't believe.I have stayed in in an attempt to get her to nap for more than half an hour,but it has only worked a few times & isn't fair on dd1.

DD1 has become very whiney & has started doing a sort of 'pretend' crying to get my attention.I am sure that she's doing it because she sees me trying to calm down dd2 when she cries & wants my attention to.If I ask her why she's crying,she doesn't answer or says that shes sad.

Our walls are very thin & I know that our neighbours can hear us.DH was away all day on Saturday & after 12 hours of trying to entertain them both & listening to one or the other of them crying all day,I lost it & shouted at dd2.She is only a baby & I felt awful-she is trying to tell me something is wrong,but I don't know what it is.

I am going back to work next week & am actually looking forward to it.But I feel guilty that I can't cope with my girls to the extent that I am looking forward to not being with them.

Please someone,tell me that it won't always be like this?

Mirage - remember that HVs and GP have no training in child psychology. Most of what they preach is based on old Victorian attitudes with no evidence base.

Hi again,
Fimac1,dd1 goes to pre school 1 morning a week & seems to like it.If I could afford to send her for another morning,I probably would,but as she is only just 2,she won't get funding until next Christmas.I'm self employed & work outside,so this time of year is tough for me financially-theres not much work about until spring.I think she does get bored,she is a very bright little girl.

We do go to playgroups twice a week,plus trips to the library & she loves it when the mobile library comes around too.DH takes her swimming when he has a day off in the week,so she gets some time on her own with him.

Strangely & miraculously enough,dd2 has improved no end since Wednesday.She doesn't cry nearly so much & has spent a fair bit of time amusing herself by rolling around the carpet & watching dd1.It is fantastic to actually be able to put her down without the instant screaming we used to get.She suddenly seems to have started interacting with us all a lot better & can be reduced to giggles quite easily.Its quite remarkable & I really hope it lasts.

Highlander-a very true point.One HV told me that a 18wk old baby shouldn't need feeding through the night & to try controlled crying to stop her crying for a feed.

Mirage - great news! Hope things continue to improve - its a pain waiting for them to get the vouchers isn't it? Thats why ds was at home with me until 3 getting bored. I don't think your problems sound the same as the ones my dd had - hers were sleep related only which was cured with co, it sounds like the problem is that she is very bright (ds has turned out to be that way, in his school marks/sats results) but it does mean they get bored easier!