What "bad" behaviour do you let your children get away with ?

[sparkle1977]

Just out of interest I am wondering what "bad" behaviour you let your children get away with ??

What I mean is that my MIL thinks its very terrible that sometimes my boys (2.5yo and 4yo) sometimes resort to silly language between themselves and start saying "willy, poohead etc etc" to each other and us all. MIL is very prudish in the extreme and regards any talk mentioning genital parts etc as inappropriate. Whereas I on the other hand am not particularly bothered by this sort of thing and think its just a stage and there are bigger battles to be fought than that sort of thing.

What doesn't bother you in terms of behaviour that may bother others ?

I wouldn't call potty mouthing bad language!! I insist on politeness please/thankyou but still have to remind DS at times. No insistance in on talking to people here either. If its something he doesn't want to discuss I'm encouraging him to say 'I don't want to talk about it' then actually saying from there ignoring is OK.

No hitting, swearing, jumping on furniture though. (altho hes jumping across cushions on the floor copying the big red balls as I type!)

sorry paooty mouthing bad behaviour!!

Wow, so many people on here just soooo laid back!
I allow the silly talk. Ok, I sometimes initiate it as I have the sense of humour of a five year old.

I am not so convinced about a lot of people on here saying they don't "make" their dc's do thank you letters or speak back to grown ups when spoken to.

I definitely think thank you letters are important, if just to knowledge that someone has got you a gift.
It is hardly going to traumatise your kids to get them to do something they don't like.
Also, they should be encouraged (not forced) to speak to people who speak to them.

Someone said that children can't be expected to observe social niceties. Er...why not?
They are going to have to engage with society at some point so why not start em young?

Clearly I am a Nazi disciplinarian. Out and Proud

It might have been me.

I see a difference between politeness and etiquette. And it depends on age of course. I wouldn't expect my 9 year old to not want to answer a question from a stranger. But I would be surprised if my 4 year old wanted to, and a bit irritated if the person kept pushing when it was obvious the child was uncomfortable. But many people do that, often saying things like "have you lost your tongue?" Ugh.

I am quite a laid back immature parent. My DCs are 14 and 11. I don't allow bad manners, being insulting, putting yourself in danger or wrecking things. Swearing is severely frowned upon. I swear a bit, but in this it's 'do as I say, not as I do'!
DS14, who is three inches taller than me, have a new game, where we play fight, and slap each others faces. The slapping is loud but painless and strictly forbidden against anyone else! I trust DS who is very placid to stick to the rules.
My mother was quite strict and an OCD clean freak, so I'm kind of rebelling! IMO a dirty barefoot kid is a happy kid!

aggghhh - I cant stand kids jumping on my sofa but no wonder if so many of you let them do it at home. It's cute when they are 2 but when ds's mates come round and I find hulking great 14 year olds doing it I know who to blame now don't I - YOU LOT!

Yeah aligator purse, pushy folk can be a bit obnoxious.
I guess it is something you can expect as the kids get older.

I have no qualms about dirt either, but I am really strict about My Things (make -up, clothes, cd's etc) and will have no truck with them being messed about with.

I won't allow jumping on the sofa either, cos when our sofa gives out, there is no money to buy a new one and we will have to sit on the floor!

Fine:
bed or sofa jumping
silly/potty talk (usually initiated by DS1 or DH)
muck or dirt

Not fine:
swearing or blaspheming including bloody, crap & oh my god - I'm not religious just don't like it in children
eating with fingers except picnics or at a push pizza
not writing thank you letters (previously me but this year DS1 (nearly 5) had his first year of writing them. VPMM
Ignoring /not answering someone when they ask a question. DH does it sometimes so I know where DS1 gets it & it really bugs me

I'm embarrassed to admit this (even anonymously on the interweb!) but I let my dd drink the milk out of her cereal bowl, but she knows that she's NEVER to do it in front of anyone - not even me (I go out of the room!) and especially not Grandma!

Flippin hell... Compared to some of you I am positively raising dd to be a complete heathen!

She is allowed to:

Jump on the beds,

Get muddy- as long as in scruffy clothes/wellies

Drink from her cereal bowl- actually encouraged!

Lick the yoghurt lid,

Eat with fingers- if appropriate,

Get tons of toys out- as long as she tidies,

Talk silly poo poo language and call us silly names (dh and I actually join in)

Fart/burp (and laugh about it)!

run in the house,

Ride her scooter up and down the hall,

Jump down the stairs and off the furniture,

Say "Oh my God!" (and get a laugh as she's only little)

Sneak toys to school in her pockets (while I turn a blind eye)

Say not nice things about some of the kids at school (well she's just being honest!)

God!

On the other hand I do not allow,

Jumping on my setees,
Swearing,
Drawing on walls or furniture,
Breaking anything,
Not saying please and thank you,
Not doing as you are told,
Being greedy,
Treating others unkindly,
Playing with food,
Not trying your best!

That Bunny is about my list of don'ts too!! I always say to DS if he's respectful/ tidies he can pretty much do as he wants. If he can't then I'll have to put strict rules in place.

whatagradeA I'm absolutely confuddled why you feel so strongly about drinking the milk out of a breakfast bowl! What is so wrong with that?

Both of us feel as though we never stop going on at our kids to follow about 5 basic rules and they take no notice at all!
Interrupting/obliterating adult communication (wouldn't go so far as to describe it as conversation usually!)
Fighting
Taking food into the front room and leaving sweet wrappers/crisp packets on the floor
Leaving wet towel on the bed/everything everywhere (dd)
Lights out at specified time
Other than that we would be quite laid-back. But we are always stressed out!

SAggy, I had a little :) at your post - my best friend was brought up as a mucky barefoot child by a hippy-style mum who was somewhat housework-averse - she hated it!
Not so much the mucky bit, although she is a bit fastidious now, but the housework-averseness - she couldn't do too much about the rest of the house on her own (she tried but it was like King Canute and the waves) so rebelled by keeping her bedroom spotless.

Missque - my mum would have a fit! We were never allowed to do it (hence NEVER EVER tell grandma!) Must be ingrained!

Yes I encourage the milk from cereal bowl thing too! Always happy to see them drinking milk as they are not that keen on it and wouldn't ever ask for a glass of milk so if they want it with bits of cornflakes in that's fine by me!

I like this thread.

My DC do most (read ALL) of the above, and I am fine with it.

I know my mum disapproves of a lot of it, and I have wondered in the past if I am just a lazy, useless mother.

The fact that my children are polite, kind and (very importantly) happy makes me realise that actually I am NOT shit. I just have different standards of what constitutes "bad" than my mum.

I take quite relaxed approach to primary school homework. They do it - but only to keep things happy at school. I can't say we're rigourous or committed about it and sometimes take short cuts.

They do very well at school, no problems at all. I can't see that religiuosly filling in a book diary will make you love books nor learning a list of random spellings (that they seem to forget in a couple of weeks anyway) will make you good at spelling.

Thumb, this is what my mum says too! Her mum was a a slattern! So she went the other way. It definitely doesn't apply to my DCs though, they're both untidy little buggers!
Mind you, they are also polite and well behaved when in public and wouldn't dream of being grotty when they are out so I don't really mind!

Other than that I think we're pretty much on a par with BunnyWunny with the do's and donts.

Sadly our hall isn't long enough for scootering but ds does a mean slide down the bannister to make up for it. I tell him not to, but I don't mean it really, and he ignores me anyway

MUD[ smile]

blowing raspberries through straws. i let DD, DH doesn't. this morning, DD was doing it and I said 'stop that please' and she said 'why?' and I thought about it, unable to give a real reason 'because it is rude' 'why?' and that got me, why was it rude? no-one else present, so I said 'you know what? its ok by me!'

My DS (4) drinks his cereal milk through a straw I wanted him to finish his milk but as his coordination/fine motor are not up to the job of drinkin it from the bowl I offered an alternative - DM horrified!

He also still likes to randomly take his clothes off (at home) and often pulls his trousers down on the way to the loo, which my inlaws are really uncomfortable with when they stay with us. As far as I am concerned it is his house not theirs and as long as he remains clothed in public I am not fussed.

My DS is not allowed to climb on furniture, or call any sort of names. He is very literal (ASD) and we have to avoid all possibility of misunderstanding in terms of appropriate behaviour.

It's more what they don't do than what they do do.

My two younger ones greatest fear as that they might have done slightly (infinitesimally) more chores than their sibling.

Eldest one is Apergers so as long as he thinks its reasonable he will do it.