What "bad" behaviour do you let your children get away with ?

[sparkle1977]

Just out of interest I am wondering what "bad" behaviour you let your children get away with ??

What I mean is that my MIL thinks its very terrible that sometimes my boys (2.5yo and 4yo) sometimes resort to silly language between themselves and start saying "willy, poohead etc etc" to each other and us all. MIL is very prudish in the extreme and regards any talk mentioning genital parts etc as inappropriate. Whereas I on the other hand am not particularly bothered by this sort of thing and think its just a stage and there are bigger battles to be fought than that sort of thing.

What doesn't bother you in terms of behaviour that may bother others ?

Pretty much same:

Poohead etc all commonplace in our home but not at table

Snacks on sofa - yes

Climb on sofa - yes

Jump on my bed - yes but only with specific permission

Raspberry blowing - yes

Play Orphan Annie (empty 1 x clothes drawer onto floor and sing 'it's a hard knock life' whilst throwing clothes around room' - Yes

Get away with bad mad manners - no

Be unkind/rude/answer back - no

Eat after brushing teeth at night - sometimes no

bad - not mad!

Don't allow DS to say OMG and also to get down from the table without asking. Oh yes must always look someone in the eye when addressing them, and always acknowledge someone you know.

Realised another one today.

My dcs call each other "stupid" and "idiot" quite a bit when they're squabbling. No one seems upset by it or they would come and tell me, so I've given up fighting that battle. I wouldn't let them say it to anyone else, but actually they don't anyway.

Lots of people have said on this thread that they don't allow these words though. My lot fight quite a bit and I'd be forever having to get involved, which I can't be bothered to do unless someone really needs me.

Mine are teenagers and I have always taken the stance that swearing is allowed underextremecircumstances

So they do not do the whole f this and that in general conversation but DD has been known to utter the odd s* under extreme circumstances.

No rudeness,backchat or physical violence in this house tho .

My mine one is that I allow DD2 who is 7 to go around barefoot, I get lots of hassle from my DM. While most people don't mind they go on about glass, dirt and dog poo but as long as she watches where she goes it is not a problem. Went to a cavalry today and the people at the next table were whispering to each other that the little girl has no shoes

I do not see why people find it strange?

DD1 (11) and DD2 often call themselves stupid, pig and other things.

Eating things off the floor, yes

Bedtime is flexible

Being silly to a point is fine

I demand they are well behaved outside the house

Gosh, I thought everyone lets their kids get mucky, eat things off the floor, eat with their hands sometimes and use silly language! I now feel positively liberated, a hippy-dippy mum and not at all a nazi disciplinarian my MIL describes me as. :)

I really don't mind if a small child doesn't want to say 'bye bye' on command. Get very uncomfortable when people hassle a reluctant toddler on my behalf. They aren't performing seals and they are too little to understand social niceties!

I also allow climbing on the sofa (within reason), bouncing on the bed (ditto, but not when I'm trying to do my ruddy make-up STOP IT NOW please), and walking along the tops of walls (as long as it's not a garden wall that is v. close to their windows).

Oh, and we have a three-second rule for eating off the floor. If it's still there once you've counted to three, it's too dirty to eat. Mind you, I'm not terribly good about mopping the kitchen floor so am reluctant to be lax about eating off it...

just to say i have so loved finding you all... and what a wonderful resource you all are... I am not alone! I love finding topical facts and soup recipes and lots of laughter.... thankyou... i don't know where i've put this.... but hello... and i'm happy i've made it!!!!!xxxx

just to say i have so loved finding you all... and what a wonderful resource you all are... I am not alone! I love finding topical facts and soup recipes and lots of laughter.... thankyou... i don't know where i've put this.... but hello... and i'm happy i've made it!!!!!xxxx

Jumping, generally lolling all over various bits of the sofa. Never had one when I was young, really wanted one!

Bouncing on the bed together since dd was tiny. It's good exercise isn't it!?

Getting muddy, filthy outside. But only puddles if got wellies on. Our village isn't over provided with puddles sadly.

And I encourage walking on walls - my fave thing when I was little. DP does not I discovered . But I do not let her run over people's gardens where there is no fence/wall - I think that is really rude!

DD is generally quite well behaved (I think!), and mostly sensible with roads/dogs/climbing out of windows etc. If she had been one of those escape artist types I might have come down a bit harder on her (and she might not have fallen out the camper van window that time ).

I'm such a sloven...

My kids often eat on the sofa (although I do insist on meal times at the table with all of us...unless we're having a takeaway)

Bouncing on the bed is one of their favourite games, especially when I push and shove them over Our bed is super springy despite being eighty years old, and I remember bouncing on it as a child.

They regularly makes dens in the living room, with my help.

Walking on walls is encouraged.

Three second rule for food on the floor.

Bedtime is flexible, although DS is a night owl and we do have to get cross with him most nights.

Muddy puddles are fun, apparently (Peppa Pig has a lot to answer for, I feel).

Silly bum bum talk isn't appreciated, but I try not to make a big deal about it, whilst making it clear that I disapprove. Calling someone 'fat' 'stupid' 'ugly' etc, is not tolerated.

I do insist on 'please' and 'thank you', as well as acknowledging people when they arrive/leave, even if it's just a hello and goodbye. Both DCs are great with animals as a result of being around them lots from birth.

But essentially, I'm still a slobby mum.

I am very strict about some things (politeness in public, handwashing before meals, bedtimes, consequences for bad behaviour) but not at all about others. In fact I suspect I am an odd mix of hippy disciplinarian.

They may:

draw on their own bedroom walls
eat in the living room (at weekends and when we have pizza)
get down from the table before everyone has finished
get covered in mud
swear, as long as they only do it appropriately (ie not TO their parents, in front of teachers, grandparents, other adults etc)
eat off the floor

They may not:

hit each other
be rude/nasty to each other or us
jump on the sofa (or the beds, since DS2 went through the slats of his cabin bed )
draw on any walls anywhere else in the house
run off in front of me when we're next to the road
go to bed later than their bedtime unless it's a special occasion

i was also made to hug or kiss family members and i hated it it, i still feel akward now when i meet new people because im thinking should i hug/kiss them do they want me too is it rude not too? its a minefield and i am really not a huggy kissy person (except with dh and ds)it also leads to a lot of head bumping ear kissing and once with my friend shoulder kissing he still laughs about it now.

I guess my rules can be pretty much summed up with:

Is it going to kill/seriously injure you?
Is it annoying someone else?
Is it going to damage something irreparably?
Is it wasting things (food, paper etc)?

No? Then it's probably ok and you can use your own judgement.

However I do try to keep to a rough routine as DS is terrible if I'm not really strict with this. Problem is I'm terrible at keeping in the routine. So often there's a clash over this and that is annoying.

Oh yes, poohead, bumbumhead, pee, poo and everything related suddenly became hugely funny with my DS at age 2 or so. To top it he regularly met 2 friends who were similarly minded - we couldn't take them out in public anymore when these three came together, they were mad but enjoying themselves hugely. Stopping it was impossible, it would just make it worse. I then just ignored it but made clear to him that other people don't like that and I stopped it at the dinner table.

Now they are all 5/6 and at school, DS still likes that sort of talk at times and being silly, and he has used some rude words, which I don't want to hear (what he does with his friends in school I can't stop anyway). Also he has a little sister (2) who is picking it up as well - but she is not so fussed about 'poo' language.

I think it's a stage for many children, they will get over it, and you just have to do what feels right for you.

Im fairly easy going my rules are not to strict I dont think;

jumping ok sofa ok if nobody is sat on it
sitting on the sofa to eat while watching tv ok in this house on a friday and satuday
eating with fingers is ok within reason
can leave the table before others have finished providing they ask first
muddy puddles are ok if they have wellies on
tree climbing/ wall walking/running is fine
eating off floor ok
silly talk is fine but not at the table

No jumping on beds (bunk beds so not appropriate anyway
toys must be cleared away before bed
please and thank you absolute must
must say hello when we see people we know or they come to the house and as we are in france a kiss on the cheek is expected to

at the end of the day we all do things our own way and allow stuff that others may consider naughty but non of us want to think that others are saying what brats our children are behind our backs, on the other hand also dont want them to be the child everyone considers strange one poor child we know still slept in a cot bed in his parents room at almost 5 and was not allowed to go upstairs on his own there were no reasons for this other than a very overprotective neurotic mother

I got rid of my dining table because it was just a crap dump and never got used for meals. We eat on the sofa all the time, I'm totally not bothered at all. They know how to behave when we eat out so that's all that matters.

I am a stickler for language, as dd is autistic and echolaic, so I avoid bad language in front of her so she doesn't copy me, but I swear all the time otherwise. DS is 19 and I still 'OI!' at him if I hear him swearing, but I know he swears when he's with his mates, doesn't bother me. I see it as being respectful and knowing when and where swearing is acceptable. My friend's son was allowed to swear all the time and doesn't know when to stop now, I just find it annoying, especially when every other word is profanity and not just in context.

Bumbum willy head smelly poo doesn't bother me, it's a bit of silly fun

I don't allow damage to furniture, walls etc, simply because it really depresses me to see my home looking scruffy and I can't afford to repair and redecorate all the time. I stay out of the kids' bedrooms on the whole, ds is 19 so can deal with his own space without me invading his privacy, and dd likes her things to be 'just so' so I don't like to go in there messing up what she spends a lot of time organising in her own way.

Please and thankyou are mandatory, it's the most basic manners and takes no effort so I don't think there is any excuse tbh, unless your child is so disabled they simply can't do it.

I was never too bothered about allowing DS to watch 15 movies and restricted games once he got to about 12, and 18s from about 14-15, although most of the films he likes aren't too offensive anyway, mostly comedy with rather puerile themes

dd is now too big to jump on beds/sofas without breaking them so that's out. I was fine with it when she was younger.

I am not bothered about table manners or niceties or anything much. At home is where she can relax. I put up with the occasional strop. I am quite strict about other things and if I was as strict about everything, it would be like living in prison.

allowed to get muddy, get clothes stained/ripped/torn - it isn't Armani. She could always choose what she wore from about 2 on (at that age though I'd just give her a choice between 2 things - this tshirt or that one), now at 10 obviously I am not involved in it -and I don't mind if a room gets turned into a viking settlement or some such thing. It can also stay like that for a while. We just move around it. I try not to look around when I go in her room but at times I despair. So much clutter , so much mess. Iti s starting to change (thank goodness)

I don't let her eat anything that has fallen on the floor though. Mind you as yet she is not showing a huge enthusiasm for doing that.

My DD1 has always been a little lady and hated getting her clothes dirty, DD2 will often get her clothes dirty and sometimes damaged, which is OK, but I hate it when she does it deliberately, whipping her hands on them for instance. Although don't mind if she gets wet deliberately example rolling down a hill into a muddy ditch, which was this mornings activity with our neighbours DD whose mother was furious

DD1 refuses to wear a coat or jacket when it is freezing or raining insisting on going out in just a blouse or dress, then freezes or get soaked, while DD1 hates shoes

OK done it again wiping not whipping her hands

Sory

I let 2.4yo DD have a full scale tantrum lying on the dining room table. It did feel wrong to ignore it but I knew if I told her off and put her in time out she would do it again. Time out seems to be a big game to her.

She hasn't done it since .

I don't make the DC's kiss or hug people either.

I'm okay with oh my god, even though i'm religious.

I don't have children yet, though.

I said Crap to my junior chorister (8yo) yesterday and he looked (but with an impressed smile) he said "that's naughty" (or something like that) - i said if you behave yourself, I will swear again for you. if you don't, I will just be horrid and mean.