What "bad" behaviour do you let your children get away with ?

[sparkle1977]

Just out of interest I am wondering what "bad" behaviour you let your children get away with ??

What I mean is that my MIL thinks its very terrible that sometimes my boys (2.5yo and 4yo) sometimes resort to silly language between themselves and start saying "willy, poohead etc etc" to each other and us all. MIL is very prudish in the extreme and regards any talk mentioning genital parts etc as inappropriate. Whereas I on the other hand am not particularly bothered by this sort of thing and think its just a stage and there are bigger battles to be fought than that sort of thing.

What doesn't bother you in terms of behaviour that may bother others ?

Laughing a lot at these. DDs 1 and 2 and DS all did pretty much everything mentioned above up to about the age of 6, however since then (now 18, 17 and 15) they have been well mannered (both generally and at the table) and never got ill from picking up food from the floor to eat. DS3 who is almost two insists on eating EVERYTHING with a fork except spaghetti, (she uses her hands and is not impressed if it's cut up) and for a small person has table manners seemingly sussed. However she is possible the dirtiest child possible as if there's a muddy puddle to be had, she gets it. Mostly all over her.

She won't wear dresses and I just go with it.

Bounces on the bed every day and thinks the bathroom is a wetroom.

I'm quite sure that before long she'll be indulging in potty talk too!

With all of mine, if the need arose and I said a stern 'NO' (maybe shouted possibly...) they knew I damn well meant it and didn't argue!!

They are small for so short a time that quite frankly if they're are otherwise polite and well behaved in situations that demand it, you're doing the right things.

Too many people I know have revolting teenagers who grew up with mine being told off at every little thing and as a result have spent the entire time defying their parents, while their parents tut tutted at my, I suppose, quite blasé attitude to silly things, and said parents can't quite get used to the idea that I am having totally trouble free teenage years with them!! Karma I think!

or even DD3 in case anyone wondered why she won't wear dresses, as I've just seen I put DS3, and I don't have a DS2 anyway!!!

nose picking. think its actually my fault for constantly clearing her nose as a baby. can't stand bats in caves.

playing with food (as long as she's eating too). i see it as experimenting and showing an interest. don't want there to be negative associations with food or for meal times to be miserable.

I am very half hearted when dd says 'fuck'. She said it on her own, in frustration at her homework earlier.

I didn't even blink. I know she didn't think I heard her so I know she wasn't looking for a reaction.

i agree. my 2 year old told my 1 year old to 'bugger off' i know this is wrong but let it go. mainly because it has obviously come from me...

Hee Hee! Have loved reading this as it has reassured me about my lot! DS1 (10) says 'shit' when he thinks I can't hear him and DS3 (7) has been known to call his older brothers 'Fuckers' or 'Buggers' and has been told off and threatened with having his mouth washed out with soap! Poobum,stinky, weepants etc are very much part of all their vocabularies but with 5 kids in the house (6 including OH who is just as bad) I think I'd be more surprised if they didn't say that stuff.
Not bothered about dirt, would rather have them outside playing in the fresh air than spotless and glued to computer/nintendos all day.
I'm seriously strict on please and thankyou, but I think this may have been exacerbated by the fact that where we live in Spain nobody says it and the lack of manners/consideration for others really pisses me off (we're hoping to move back to UK soon!) Same with table manners, people here tend to eat with just a fork, mushing, stabbing and scooping at their food with it in their right hand. Grrrr!!! and the kids tend to pick this up when eating their school lunches so I tend to come down on that pretty hard too.

Thankyou letters AAARRGGH!! I don't make mine write them as I remember having to and it seeming interminably dull. MIL has a berzerker about it following every birthday and Christmas - I just make sure I'm not the one to answer the phone when she calls

I let them drink wine but not spirits and I don't mind smoking tobacco but draw the line at crack. I am rather strict though.

AtYourCervix - ha ha!

I'm pretty much the same as the rest of you. They can get as dirty as they like providing it's not their best clothes.

They choose their own clothes.

They can eat things off the floor providing it's not totally disgusting (once saw DS1 eating a piece of pear that the dog had tried and spat out!)

They can climb on the sofa (although cutting down on that now that they're getting bigger)

Potty talk is fine, but have recently banned it from the dinner table. Think I may have gone along with their potty talk just to annoy my mum

Haven't had to deal with swearing yet, but think i'll going to try and show them that there is a time and a place for it (ie if they swear at ME I'll be going berserk!)

I have a suspiscion that the other mums at school aren't too impressed with me letting them run by themselves until they come to where we need to cross the road, whereupon they'll sit themselves down on the pavement and wait for me. Mind you, neither is my OH!

DS (3) has no fixed bedtime but is usually asleep by 9:30; however the upside of this is that he rarely wakes before 8am, which suits me

I don't mind him:
blowing raspberries, we do it for fun;
bouncing on the bed or the sofa (unless he gets too out of hand and looks like he's about to fall off) - will probably curb this as he gets bigger;
eating with his fingers so long as the food is appropriate for that;
talking about poo (when he's done one, we sing "smelly poobag baby" and have done since he was tiny, to the tune of "fluffy little bunnies").

OTOH - he is NOT allowed to:
run by himself on the pavements or anywhere near roads/carparks (paranoid PFB, don't care what anyone else thinks, he's my boy);
call anyone stupid;
swear, say Oh My God, or Jee-zus (thanks DH!)

I'm sure there are other things.

I only let DS swear when he is playing COD

He has been warned about his smoking..i definately dont let him get away with that...
under any circumstance

My daughter is almost 10 and my son is 11.

They are both classed as gifted children, so any backchat is guaranteed to be clever and sly and engineered to make me laugh, and it does. My boyfriend laughs at me for being useless at disciplining them because I always giggle, but I can't help it.

I also let them get away with messy bedrooms, but make them clear away their things from shared living spaces.

I don't cook them things they dislike (they are very good, healthy eaters, but like all kids there are things they don't like), but if it's something new or something prepared in a different way, they must try it. If they hate it, they don't have to eat it again.

They're not angels all the time at home, by any means, but because I'm fairly easy-going with them they always know they've pushed me too far when I actually get cross. I am constantly complimented on their behaviour at school and outside. So I think I'm probably doing ok!

I let DD1, aged 10, bring her 'fart machine' which makes rude noises to the shops with us.

Tis very funny!

I allow a fair bit of silliness with my 6 yr old and 2 yr old, especially at home. I am more a stickler in other people's homes, as I like them to get used to following others people's rules when necessary.

I let both of my DSs (6 and 3) read on the loo. It's a good way of keeping them in one place for a few minutes, and besides DH and I both do it too, so can't complain

DD2 eats her bogeys, with lots of enjoyment.

Both DDs eat in front of the TV at weekends. And they love talking about poo, farts, pee etc.

What we do not allow is name calling, chanting, and calling someone 'stupid'.

Which is confusing when they visit DD1's best friend's house: friend is not allowed to say poo, bum and fart but her parents call her rat and stupid doughnut (in what they would see as a loving way, obv).

All kids think those words are hilarious and it's no big deal, it's just parts of the body and bodily functions at the end of the day.
I think bad manners and cheek is far worse

When my DSs were about 1 and 3 they were eating yoghurts and getting very giddy. They were smearing themselves with yoghurt, fingers in the pot and then wiping it all over themselves while screaming with laughter.

My usual response would be to tell them not to mess about with food but for some reason I just laughed at them. I got the camera out and have some treasured photos that bring back the memory of when they were little.

(They are now 12 and 15).

Bouncing on the bed - in fact this is encouraged when we change the beds, both children love this.

climbing over sofas.

silly talk, but like limburgse no use of the word stupid, nasty or that kind of thing, but poo/bum/fart/smelly breath whatever is fine in jest. But not in anger.

Getting muddy

Staying up past bedtime once a week

Having pudding if they have not eaten all their dinner.

I grew up with a mum who had (and still does have) a horror of mud.

My favourite hobby BC was gardening, and I still wander in from garden/allotment covered in mud when I get the chance.

DS is thus allowed to jump in puddles, stick his hands in the soil, and such like. But just not when Nana is watching!

I also let him bounce on our bed, but on the proviso that someone is with him at the time as he could hit his head on the overhead cupboards or bounce off, knowing him... He's not allowed to bounce on any other furniture as most of it is knackered on its last legs.

We also get the silly bum talk, though it seems endemic among the 3-year-olds at nursery.

Manners on the other hand are mandatory. I expect proper pleases, thankyous and pardon mes. And he'll get a rocket if caught barging or snatching.

i have 2dd's (12 & 13) and 1 ds (15) i gave up telling them of for swearing it just made them swear more.
their definately not angels but are good when they go to other peoples houses and know to be polite.
at school dd2 & ds are mostly well behaved (ds has adhd & asd) but dd1 is always in trouble.
i know most of her teachers on a first name basis but i cant help but think at least i'm not the only 1 she picks on

We think burping and farting is never-endingly hilarious in our house though we're trying to teach dd (4) that it's only acceptable when she's at home and with us.

I don't mind the DC using their fingers to eat or the silly name banter thing, though DS, 2.5, can only say 'bum' anyway and from him it sounds quite, well, cute!

I don't make them clear their plates, so long as they've eaten a good amount they're allowed pud.

Getting dirty, if you can't dirty as a child when can you?

One thing I do pull them both up on all the time is manners, I cannot abide it when people don't say please, thank you etc so that's one thing I am very strict about.

Oh gosh I feel terrible now, I am forever going 'stop it!' 'enough now' to my 2 bays (6&4) who spend hours at a time with will/pooh/bum talk.

I don't think I will bother now.

I am really laid back. The silly potty-talk never even occurred to me that people might not let their children say those things, how strange.

DS is allowed to climb on things as long as we're at home or somewhere meant for climbing like a park etc. He's been climbing stairs unsupervised since I felt he was competent - about 21 months? Whereas other parents I know still panic when their children climb stairs at 2+ - but then perhaps their children are less cautious than DS.

He's also allowed to use a (butter) knife, and use pens with me only half paying attention. He's pretty good at staying on the paper etc although he has drawn on a fair amount of his toys and books. Sometimes it's just anything to keep him quiet.

I also let him eat stuff off the floor, as long as the floor is mostly clean. I am baffled as to why some parents are so phobic about perfectly good food which has fallen on the floor for 2 seconds.

And yes getting messy. He can get as messy as he wants, if the clothes don't wash they weren't really fit for purpose. I've let him walk through puddles in normal shoes as well.

I don't insist he says sorry, but he usually does anyway. I tend to remind him to say please and thank you, but TBH again he usually says them anyway, because I've always said them to him. I don't do the witholding the thing until he says please/thank you thing.

I let him walk along on the pavement without holding hands, but I'm aware I can only do this because he's an only child (so has 100% attention) and not a bolter!

I used to let him eat whenever he was hungry but have decided to stop this now and he's eating his meals a lot better.

I let them have a snack on the sofa occasionally as a treat, when DH isn't around

Using proper words like fart instead of ridiculous euphemisms like fluff, bogey as well is fine.

We are atheists but don't condone Oh My God as it offends many.

Poo, bum, etc all fine. Not "idiot" though. Its funny, there are just some words that push your buttons.

DS plays ball in the hall. I'm a poet.