Gina Ford routines

[tanmu82]

Hi, I am looking for any advice/experiences from mums who have tried Gina Ford's 7am-7pm routine. my DCs are both at school full time, so when DD2 comes along, I need her to fit in with us, not us be led by her. I am thinking the 7am-7pm routine sounds like one that would work well around school hours, as well as leaving time with the DCs alone after baby has gone to bed.
Also, how easy was it to establish right from the beginning?

Any thoughts?!?

Why is a 3 hourly feeding routine incompatible with breastfeeding?!

If your baby is hungry before, you feed your baby. Otherwise, you feed before they get too hungry so you can fill up their little tummies again.

I completely agree that most people who are negative about it have not read her book!

(Quite happily using the principles of the GF routines here and breastfeeding successfully - my baby was so sleepy at the beginning that it was only by waking him every 2 hours initially that I got any milk into him. True 'demand' feeding doesn't always work.)

the book is on order from Amazon....there's no harm in giving it a go. If it really doesn't suit our lifestyle or the baby, then I don't have to continue with it. I really do hope it works though!

Thanks reallytired :)

everything, did you actually read what I said?!

I do feed at the first sign of hunger.

I don't wait for the clock.

However, my baby does not necessarily wake for food enough so a routine ensures frequent nursing and a good milk supply.

everything, your last comment is far more fair, but the OP (or anyone else here) wasn't suggesting that, and you did made a blanket statement judging all of us that do aim for a routine and coming out with false and unhelpful statements like, "any form of routine is incompatible".

Now can we all be friends and recognise that different parents parent their different children in different ways and what works for one parent might not work for another parent or another child.

I first used Gina Ford but to be onest I found it to rigid and it just didnt work for my baby.
BUT I discovered Jo Tantums book Baby secrets which is very similar to Gina but less rigid and she give you a number of routines to choose from so you pick the one best suites your life and baby. I only found this book at 10 weeks and it changed my baby over night. she now sleeps 7pm to &7 am some time 8am if im really lucky and she is six month she has been doing this since 5 months.
She also give email support if you need it which I did not need the book was so easy to use
www.babysecretsltd.com/

Why bother with a baby at all? Cats can take care of themselves from an early age.

"Why bother with a baby at all? Cats can take care of themselves from an early age."

I think that is out of order mathanxiety and I say that as someone whose parenting style could not be more different to Gina Ford.

I think that Gina Ford book shows what a typical pattern is for a bottlefed baby. Certainly my children who were breastfed chose to have their naps at similar times to what Gina recommended.

I think its best to borrow a range of baby books from the library and pick the bits to suit you.

I'm a GF fan here too and found the routines brilliant for DD1 and DD2. It think from memory (it's been about 2.5 years since I've looked at the book) it would fit well into the school run timings as the feed times don't clash with drop offs and pick ups.

It's not all or nothing with GF, you can dip in and out of the book and obviously if they need feeding earlier, well you feed them when they are asking for it.

Mine were never left to cry either.

I BF'd with GF so did everyone else I know including my SIL who is still BF'ing her 2.5 year old although I did start it between four and six weeks.

To each her own, yes. I'm not a GF fan, and tbh I don't understand the appeal of moulding babies to fit the family to the extent she seems to think is desireable.

We used GF with all 3 ds. It worked v well with ds1 but ds2 and ds3 were not as cooperative and easy to routine so we adapted it and followed it loosely. It worked in ok with school run I must say. In any case I bf all 3 and they were and still are good sleepers and eaters so I suggest you try it and if it suits you and your baby go for it. If not use the bits that work or do your own thing.
Good luck:)

My ds cried a hell of a lot more before we did GF. I didn't have a clue what I was doing before then, but I was lucky and it suited him straight away.

mathanxiety

How is adopting a routine that ensures a baby is well fed, rested and cared for not looking after it?

It is not about moulding babies. If offers suggestions on when babies will be hungry and sleepy through the day - the rest is up to mum. You cant MAKE a baby do anything, so therefore I can't see how it 'moulds' babies?

A 'gina day' (as I call it) will not suit everyone, and thats fair enough, but I relly don't think it it is on when people hint that adopting the routine is bad, or worse, neglectful, parenting.

A family moulds itself together. A healthy family balances the needs of everyone, including the mother, father, baby and any other siblings. Children don't benefit from martyr mother.

Children are moulded by their parents, whatever their parenting philosophy. I don't think its necessarily a bad thing.

If you follow the continuim concept then the baby spends its entire life in a sling and is part of adult life. The baby is moulded into tribal life. The mother works with a baby on her back and there is very little baby time. Life is hard in a South American tribe. There is no mumsnet or any conviences like running water. People also have a low life expectancy in this sort of existance.

There is a middle road between Gina and the continium concept.

I think where GF and I part company is the definition of 'needs'. Well-fed, rested and cared for I would consider just the atarters. I left it up to my babies to suggest to me when they were hungry, sleepy, etc., during the day, and also during the night, because I see baby cries as prompts for me, attempts to communicate their own needs, and I don't see the need for any kind of expert mediator and her books to interpret what babies have been doing for thousands of years when they cry, or try to suggest that thousands of years of mothers have been misguided and have made themselves into 'martyrs' by going with the flow.

Where have I said anything about neglect? And why is anything short of rigid adherence to a routine considered martyrdom? There is a middle road between continuum parenting and martyrdom.

It's healthy for older children to learn a bit of patience; most can actually benefit from the realisation that they are not the only pebble on the beach, and surely where there are two parents there can be a division of labour to some extent?

You mentioned getting a cat, because "take care of themselves from an early age."

To me that very much suggests gina mummys follow the routine because caring for thier child is a bit of a hastle, and gina's way is easier as it is less intensive. Implying neglectful.

(The rest isnt aimed at you, just part of my observations!)

To be honest, yes, I feel there are alot a mayrter mums out there. Go o pretty much any baby group and you will hear the inevitable competition about just how many times each mum has been up at night.

Each and every baby is an individual. But why is it wrong to follow a routine that helps you preempts your babys needs, as long as is works for that baby? Why oh why let a baby get to the point (as I see very often with non routine babies) that they have to cry to tell you what they want?

There are some (to me) very, very odd methods of parenting on here, but it is not for me to write them off as so many do Gina.

I didn't have any instinct with ds and floundered for about 4 weeks not having a clue what to do, and so Gina Ford really helped me to get a handle on things. It doesn't suit everyone, but I wish her critics would accept that it does suit some, and that some mums and babies really benefit from it. Her routines saved my sanity.

I hated it.

Didn't work at all for ds1 who quickly found his own routine anyway when I let him.

Not a chance of it working with ds2!

Fwiw, I also hated The Baby Whisperer and The Baby Book.

All 3 of these books contributed MAJORLY to my failure to successfully bf ds1.

If you're going to think about a routine you need to do it with some flexibility and not get cross with yourself or your baby if it doesn't go according to the book by the minute!

I vaguely followed the GF book but adapted it to my baby's natural rhythms IYSWIM. Neither of mine slept through til 7 and still don't (at 6.5yos) as they are, I believe naturally early risers, however they are both excellent at going to bed and I never left mine to cry for any length of time becasue a book said I shouldn't feed them.

Teaching a baby that her expressed needs will be met is a huge part of teaching the baby about how to communicate and how to trust, which can't happen if all the baby's needs are going to be (1) decided by the caregiver and (2) pre-empted.

The whole point about meeting the physical needs of the baby when the baby expresses the need is that the baby feels an adult will respond to expressions of need and learns to express needs and to trust the request will be met. There's a lot more to 'needs' than just the warmth, the milk, the clean nappy. The interaction and the development of the trusting relationship are huge needs, imo.

And while you do have to provide certain basic necessities for pet cats, a lot of the time you can go about your business undisturbed by them, as the OP seems to want to do with her older DCs, her lifestyle, and her 'I need her to fit in with us' approach.

Really makes me laugh when a couple of people on the thread have said the routines worked, but it took 9 months before the baby was doing what they were supposed to! The routines didn't work, the baby was just doing what it would have done anyway.

I think you have to be very careful how you post mathanxiety, otherwise you will alienate people. They will not be interested in what you write.

Most Gina mothers I have met in real life have been the type of person who is desperate to do the right thing by their baby. They want some organisation in the chaos that is motherhood. Who can blame them?

Unfortunately there is no such thing as a manual for a baby, even if various authors claim to have the answers. Baby care is an art rather than a science. No baby book is a bible.

It is not unreasonable for second children to fit in with the rest of the family. A new baby wants to fit in, but it takes time for them to learn how. There will be times when a baby wakes more, due to teeth or whatever.

The majority of babies do find a routine that fits in with the second child. Yes, the first 6 weeks are tough however you choose to parent. The baby has never experienced hunger, day or night. They need time to adapt.

I think the OP will be fine however she chooses to parent.