Searching for fellow PhD students

[youngblowfish]

Hello,

I find myself badly in need of company as a newly pregnant PhD student. I am about to start my second year and, all being well, I should be 12 weeks by the beginning of October.

Are there any pregnant/parents PhD students out there? I could really do with a thesis writing support thread and it would be lovely to chat to people who are in a similar position.

I am much more lowly than a PhD student I'm afraid but I have a third year dissertation to write this year, with the 'help' of my 19 month old daughter. It might make you feel better to laugh hollowly at my meagre word count target. What's your subject? Mine comes under the heading of 'arts'...

So does mine :). Dissertations are not easy at the best of times, how are you managing with a LO? The worst thing for me about doing a PhD is having virtually no peer group, I hope you are luckier than me with your dissertation, as it is really lovely to have partners in crime.

It is a fairly lonely business, this last semester (Jan-May) I didn't go into uni at all but studied from home, because I didn't have childcare. It worked out OK from an academic point of view, but I missed talking to adults and also just being in a university setting. (Though I tend to get tetchy with the other undergrads, all of whom are a good 10 years younger than me, because they do all the things I did when I was an undergrad the first time round - turn up late and hungover, not do the work and bluff, etc ). Next semester I'm actually physically there one day a week, and to be honest I can't wait!

The good thing is that DD now naps reliably for at least two hours during the day, so I spend the morning thinking about what I want to write (while providing a high quality childcare experience for DD, obviously ), two hours writing, and the rest of the day mentally revising it. It's surprisingly productive!

How's your PhD going to date, are you still enthusiastic about it or do you find yourself distracted by all things baby?

That sounds great! I am really impressed by your writing system, it seems very effective. Did you know that even at professional writing retreats for academics, they don't do more writing than just 4 hours a day? Apparently, it is better to work in short but effective bouts than to drivel on endlessly in an unproductive manner (my current style).

My own PhD is still very exciting. The subject itself is fascinating and hopefully quite innovative. I am also fully funded, which probably makes me one of the luckiest people out there. Still, there are drawbacks. The main one is lack of company and, to be fair, lack of people in general who understand the permanent limbo of writing a PhD (imagine writing your dissertation for three long years with no structured contact hours). Lonely business indeed. There is also a lot of fiddling about with details and correcting your own work over and over again. My coursework used to be 60% inspiration and 40% hard work, now it is 10% inspiration, 90% hard graft. All things baby are not more interesting as such, but much easier to share with people. Is it wrong that part of my motivation for wanting to be a mother was my need for company?

I really appreciate that you came on to talk to me. It made me feel a lot better already and I am now strangely optimistic about getting more work done in short but effective bouts :). What made you go back to do another course at university?

Glad you're feeling better! Yes, my approach used to be endless procrastination and lots of 'staring out of the window' time, but one thing a baby teaches you is to make the absolute most of every free minute. I'm studying classics, it's something I've always wanted to do but I needed to learn the languages, hence starting at undergraduate level. I'd love to do a masters next, but it's difficult to plan that far ahead.

Your PhD sounds brilliant, getting funding for an arts subject is nigh on impossible I understand, so that's amazing. Do you have research seminars and such like to get together with fellow students, or are you doing any teaching?

One brilliant thing about having a baby is that suddenly you have something in common with loads of people. It's amazing how nice people are when you're pregnant/have a small baby - seats are given up, prams are carried up steps, it's great! And you're certainly rarely alone with a baby/small child, which is a mixed blessing, but in general they're great company .

Are you planning to take some time out when the baby arrives? Not sure whether it's necessary to formally take a break, or whether it can all generally get wrapped up into writing up time.

That does sound lovely. I am sure that studying with a child has its own challenges, but your experience does cheer me up a lot!

I really admire your choice to go back and learn the languages to study classics. It was one of my options when I was choosing my first undergraduate course and part of me is still a little sad I never ended up going for it. I have so many intellectual regrets, it is quite incredible I actually ended up committing to one project for any length of time :). Studying classics has another advantage - a lot of institutions, especially older, more established ones, will have brilliant teaching facilities and plenty of funding specifically for students studying classics. There are endowments earmarked particularly for them and, if supervisors can see potential and commitment in their prospective postgraduates, they often offer very flexible terms that are not necessarily spelt out in the prospectus (such as starting out immediately as a PhD and skipping the MA altogether, going part-time with funding, etc). I probably have completely jumped the gun here, but I have a feeling you must be quite committed to the subject, which I really admire. I guess what I am trying to say is that HE can be a surprisingly flexible sector.

As for my solitary confinement, I have seminars once a term and go out to an occasional conference. I write mainly on Latin American cultural studies. I am still waiting for the college to sort out my teaching for next academic year, as I am quite eager to see people every now and then :). I think I completely underestimated my need for social interaction - it turned out I am not a natural recluse, after all.

In terms of practicalities, the funding is quite amazing and offers proper maternity pay, should I need it. I really have no reason to complain.

youngblowfish Fancy seeing you here. I'm still on the bus, but was also in need of support on my dissertation. Perhaps I'll pop back over to this thread when I hop off the bus. Until then, I'm working on a conference proposal and MN is my primary form of procrastination.

You're right, I am very committed to my subject - partly having invested a lot to get here, I went part time at work before I had DD to accommodate my studies, so that was a sacrifice in career and salary terms. It would be great to be able to take it further, I feel very encouraged by the flexibility you describe. Here's hoping some of it's available when I get to that stage!

It's interesting what you say about isolation, I think that's something a lot of new mums feel as well - suddenly you're cut off from the world of adults, and can't just pick up and go out in the same way. It's great when you start to get your baby-oriented social circle together, though. I think I have the ideal balance at the moment, I spend most of my time with DD, who is (by and large) terrific company, but also get to do some academic work to keep my brain going.

Before DD was born, I was worried that my priorities would completely change and I'd have no interest in studying any more. That didn't happen, but it did take me a while to come out of the 'babymoon' - about nine months, though I think for a lot of people it happens much quicker. You might want to build in some down time for the first few months, when it's all a bit overwhelming!

Does your work mean you need to take lots of research trips to Latin America? That would be a real bonus!

hi youngblowfish, just wanted to say hi. I'm doing my phd in psychology and terminal illness but had my dd last november, part way into my second year! It is do-able and best time in terms of flexibility to look after dc (i also have an 11 year old ds) but it is very lonely and your ability to just pop into uni/library/coffee shop is severly affected!

Good luck xx

Not a fellow-PhD student I'm afraid - I'm an academic so a few years on from the PhD - but just wanted to say that several of my friends had babies during their PhDs - difficult, but definitely doable, and actually I noticed that it meant they brought an extra sort of focus to their work and each of them finished in good time even though their work had to be fitted in around the baby - they said when they did work, they were much more focused. I think more than the research itself, something to keep an eye on is the more social side - not just for your own sake, but also because if you want to carry on, being known in the field can be important.

And very well done on the funding - is that AHRC?

Thank you for all your replies and sorry for disappearing off the thread - I had some internet issues, which actually helped me to finish revising a chapter far more efficiently :).

OverThePond, best of luck with both the conference proposal and the bus journey. I really hope it works out. It is also nice to know that I am not the only student out there who decided to actively TTC :).

Bousy, Latin American research trips are certainly on the cards! I really hope that my child will take to travelling at an early age, I do like to idea of hauling him/her around the world. But I am getting ahead of myself here.

arionater, thank you for the words of encouragement. I am definitely going to try to be more social before the baby gets here, I think it will make me a lot happier. My funding is college based, but as far as I am aware, terms and conditions are identical to AHRC.

notremotelyintofootie, what a splendid name! :) Thank you for your message!

Hi all, lurking with intent here as I'm about to start my 2nd year of a PhD and also am looking to TTC over the next year. It's interesting to hear from other people how they have fitted the two together.

youngblowfish, I am in a similar funding situation to you, but can't find anywhere on uni website any detailed terms of my award which make any reference to maternity leave, which I know you get with AHRC. Do you know if you're entitled to it (and if so how did you find out?) or are you intending not to take 'leave'? I'd be buggered if I don't get it, to be frank, but can't quite work out how I find out where I stand.

Perfectly happy to be in the thesis support gang btw! I'm arts too. I already have to do short effective bursts as I'm still heavily involved in the arts company I co-run too. Have absolutely no idea how I'd juggle that, the PhD AND a baby.

Quodlibet, I simply asked somebody during induction at the beginning of my first year. We had a chance to submit questions anonymously, which was great as nobody knew I was the one inquiring about maternity leave before even starting my PhD . I was told at the time that PhD students with college funding fall under the same rules as academic staff when it comes to maternity leave. Their attitude was actually really encouraging - they commented that from their view point one does not 'want' maternity leave, one needs it.

I don't actually have the terms and conditions of my funding either. Once I have my 12 week scan and can get properly excited about being pregnant, I will just simply call the graduate office and find out all the details.

One of my petty pregnant struggles at the moment is trying to write using just the safe amount of caffeine, which is roughly a quarter of my normal intake. Short, creative bursts is the only way I can manage :).

Ah yes, the crucial link between coffee and writing. I actually found decaf fine when I'd got used to it, but it did take me a while to scale down from my previous habit

Quodlibet you're clearly already adept at juggling! At the moment I feel like I could manage work and baby, or study and baby, or work and study (which is what I used to do), but would struggle to fit in all three (and still spend any time at all with my husband). But it's amazing what you can fit in when it comes to it.

I'm lurking quietly here as well as I'll be starting a PhD this autumn and also hoping to to have a baby in the next few years so there's a good chance the two will coincide.

I think it's fortunately quite normal to get some paid maternity leave if you have research council funding (I checked EPSRC who are providing my funding), you do hear some horror stories about supervisors having issues with it but hopefully that's rare!

May I join? Am in my 6th year of a PhD over in America, and DS is 4 weeks old. I'm about to start teaching a rather intensive course (next week. Eeek!) and, erm, I really haven't written my dissertation yet. The average phD takes 6 years, I've told my advisor it's going to take me 7 cos of DS....

I'm going to need a support group, I think :)

Hi, I'm another! Just starting 2nd year PhD, have a 2 year old and just pregnant with next one. Managed first year fine with dd as had lots of help from family and part time childcare. Am slightly worried everyone will think I'm crazy for having another before I'm finished but I really didn't want to wait. Am currently really hoping supervisors will understand... Particularly as they got me the funding, don't want to seem ungrateful. But I'm sure all will be well. Will definitely need support when it comes to writing up. Speaking of which, youngblowfish, how are you writing chapters at the end of first year? I haven't collected any data yet!! And why are you waiting for 12 weeks before enquiring about maternity leave? I was hoping to have everything sorted before I tell my supervisors at about 12 weeks. Then I can explain how everything is going to be fine and that I will complete even if it might possibly take me a bit longer than planned!

hi!
i just started my phd when i found out i was pregnant.its good to see there are other phd-mums who can manage to juggle it all! i;m on maternity leave at the moment (LO is 3 months) and i dont know how we will manage when i go back in january, we havn't got any family nearby who can help...

hi miski, i went back when dd was about 5 months old and we don't have family support and trying to juggle everything.... Its hard! I'm still trying to sort my study as we moved the day i started back too!

Good luck! I'm currently 'hiding' from my supervisors! Lol...

notremotelyintofootie your name showed up on the main page as notremotel and I thought oh interesting, someone with a French user name who's a hotelier...

hi notremotely, my supervisor gets back from brazil soon (hes been there since before baby was born) so i'll have to go meet him and talk about the phd again, which will be amusing. know what you mean about hiding!

Hello! I start my PhD in 3 weeks, and have two DDs of 5 and 2.5.

I'm kinda cheating though, since I'm doing it through work so apart from working in a new department and having more flexible hours, I'm not expecting things to change too much.

And I won't have the loneliness issue, since I'm a virologist and my PhD will be very much research-based and I'll be in the lab more often than out. I'm really hoping for some work-from-home reading/writing time though.

All very exciting!!

Hi all

I'm another one. My DD is nearly 5 mo and I start a PhD in October. It's fully funded which is great but also means I'm going to have to produce good work on time!

I'm glad others are in the same boat. I'm slightly nervous about using my rusty brain again. On the bright side, I've heard lots of people say that having a baby and doing a PhD is very doable.

Me too. I am starting next month - AHRC funding, very lucky. I have 2 DDs - 5 and 3. The sensible part of me thinks that this is my chance to get my brain back in gear, put the baby phase behind me and make the most of the flexibility the PhD will offer around school hours etc. There's another bit of me that would love another baby and is quite tempted by the prospect of a year's maternity leave between years 2 and 3. Should put it to one side for now and focus on the project in hand. I am very lucky in that I am a freelance consultant (arts-related field) and have a project to work on this month which is closely related to my PhD topic, so am starting to get my brain headed in the right direction, I hope. Excited and scared. Feel a bit like I did last autumn when DD1 started school!

So, I'm not the crazy one! I have a nearly 2-year old and a full-time job and will be starting a part-time PhD in October. Frankly, if the funding were available, I'd like to ditch the job and do the PhD full-time, but it doesn't look very likely.

I'm feeling a bit ambivalent, because on the one hand I'm excited about my area of research, and on the other hand, I wonder what I'm doing it for. I currently work in a university, in a job that mixes a bit of admin and a bit of academic work, and it looks to me like the hours worked by the "real" academics are just crazy. Do I really want that?

Can I ask why all of you are doing PhDs? Do you want to be academics?