Searching for fellow PhD students

[youngblowfish]

Hello,

I find myself badly in need of company as a newly pregnant PhD student. I am about to start my second year and, all being well, I should be 12 weeks by the beginning of October.

Are there any pregnant/parents PhD students out there? I could really do with a thesis writing support thread and it would be lovely to chat to people who are in a similar position.

I agree with Nickname - you've made a fantastic start Dotty! I'm still ploughing through the reading and haven't written a word yet. And yes, don't worry about the comments. Your supervisor is unlikely to be delighted with a first draft of anything - it would be worrying if he/she was.

By the way, totally sympathise re. end of honeymoon period. My baby, nearly 7 mo, has been sleeping 12 hours a night or more since she was very tiny. But the last couple of weeks we've had the first bad cold, teething, tummy problems with solids and night time has been badly disrupted. I've been feeling knackered and finding it hard to focus....which would be ok-ish in a normal job but makes me feel really anxious because I know I need my brain to be sharp and alert.

How many days/hours a week are you all working on the PhD?

hi all - hopefully i am in final stages of writing but have been saying that for the last year!

Dolster i am currently working 3 days a week which has gradually moved from 2 half days when she was about 5 months to 2 days and only recently to 3 days. DD is 2 now but I found that progress was incredibly slow and very difficult before i managed to get 3 full days. By the time i got back into the chapter/reading i was working on it was time to stop and then the process started again the following week! How are you finding it? How much time are you spending?

hi sunsplash - luckily I have a full four days a week (my daughter is in childcare from 8.30 - 5.30 Mon-Thurs). So I feel like that's a good amount of time but I do feel like it takes a while to warm up at the beginning of the week.

What stage were you at when you had your baby?

i finished my fieldwork/interviews while i was pregnant so she was born in my writing up stage so to speak and in my naivetey i thought i would write while she slept! I essentially ended up taking a full year off (although registered) and i am now in year 5 but should be submitting my first draft to my committee this month so i feel as though there is light at the end of the tunnel and now i just want it finished!

NNT and Dolster - thank you for the kind reassurance. Am seeing him again this week, and planning on writing something shorter and more focused and we'll see what he has to say about that. It was not so much criticism that I was disheartened by as lack of any real comment at all - almost as if it was too bad for it to be worth engaging with. But I know it's a mistake to read too much (indeed anything, really) into silence.

I have 3 full days at the moment, Monday - Weds, 9 till late. I have DD2 at home on Thursday and Friday, but think I might put her into nursery for a short day on Friday as could do with not so much more time, as a shorter gap between finishing on Weds and starting again on Monday (tho have been reading bits and pieces in the evenings). Will have 5 school-length days next year, when DD2 starts school, and hope after school care for one or two of those.

Have a good week, everyone.

ooh what a great thread! I just googled and found this.

I've just started a full time funded PhD. have two girls aged 2 & 4, eldest at school. Finding it a bit overwhelming and full on at the moment, not least because i've still got some part time work on the boil too. Why did I say yes to that?! Oh and my uni is 2+hours away, so getting there is hard and exhausting and my research site is even further away.

Anyway, hope to hang around here some more and get some handy hints from mums in the same boat :)

Hello Miffy - are you me? My uni is a trek too, around 2 hours. And I also have some freelance work on the go, but have mostly put it out of my mind since starting. Not good plan, though, as have quite a big project with a Jan deadline and don't want to spend all Christmas doing it. Do hang around and let us all know how it's going. I've been home alone the last 2 days trying to write and have not seen a soul apart from the postman from 9 til 6 and am wondering why I thought doing a PhD would be less isolating than freelancing - at least then I had clients!

Am still trying to finished my shorter more focused piece which has turned into another rambly epic. And 2 hours to go before self-imposed deadline time (don't want to spend all evening on it).

Hi all and welcome Miffy! I hope everyone's doing well. I have finally started writing and am hoping to have completed my first chapter by xmas, which is only a month away.... I also feel pretty lonely Dotty, I'm lucky enough to be in the same city as my University but in some ways would love the chance to work from home. Being in London makes the commute to the library pretty hellish and exhausting but working at home isn't an option because my little one is there with the nanny and the two other babies we share the nanny with. It's mayhem....

Hello, can I join? Am 29 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and halfway through my MA dissertation - really want to complete at least a full draft of it before the baby arrives... Studying Applied linguistics part-time/distance learning, which also means I have 'normal' work to do too - work freelance from home so am with you on the isolated feelings! Right, one more article to finish reading, then toasted teacakes as a reward!!

Hello everyone and welcome geeky giraffe. How's it going this week? Had a better meeting with my supervisor this week and feeling newly enthused. Unfortunately, have a piece of freelance work (hang over from before the PhD) to finish today, and have got the builders in, so suspect not much work will get done. Dolster - yep, can see that that would be too much distraction. Suspect that two builders knocking out a chimney are less noisy than 3 babies!

Hello!

Very excited to have stumbled on this part of the forum and this thread!

I'm a full-time PhD student, currently 9 months in and 19 weeks pregnant.

Hi everyone, it's been ages since I posted but the good news is I'm no longer 'hiding' from my supervisor I submitted some writing, Burnett bullet and met with her today! It wasn't as bad as I expected and I have reasonable deadlines for chapters etc! I should have finished my data collection end of jan and then I have a year to analyse and write up!

I managed to persuade dh to let md put Dd who is now 1 into nursery but we can only afford the minimum of 3 afternoons and tbh I'm not sure we can afford that but needs must!! I would love more normal time to work but am having to fit my 35 hours a week in where I can... Arghhhh! I can't see behaving anytime off at Xmas and in fact have 8 interviews to do between Xmas and new year but at least once those are done it'll be easier to fit my work around me!

How is everyone else doing?

Been a bit disrupted this week with the snow and DDs off school/nursery and have had some marking (for my department's masters course) to do too. But they're both back today and I have until 3 to make some progress - better crack on. How are the rest of you?

hi everyone. had a bit of a set back because my daughter, seven months, was diagnosed with bronchitis last week. We've also had tube strikes and snow in London so getting into the library has been hard work. Otherwise not too bad. I'm not sure i'll make my first deadline (intro and lit review by xmas) but i feel fairly confident about my progress. I guess my only real worry is that I just can't get involved in the activities that my department has on offer eg. really useful seminars etc which are always in the evening. I think dotty and I have lamented this before... I just feel very isolated from other students and I know i'd really benefit from getting involved a bit more in the wider program.

How's everyone doing? Sorry to hear about your daughter, dolster - hope she's on the mend. This is my last week before school Christmas holidays and I'm seeing my supervisor on Weds. Supposed to be writing now. I've had 4 weeks since I last saw him, and feel I haven't made very much progress - lots of snow disruption, days off school etc and work distractions too. Will be pleased when my current freelance project's out of the way and full-time can mean (more like) full-time. Oh - and missing the Christmas dinner because of rearranged nativity play. Never mind.

Hi everyone, just stumbled across this thread. I'm in the third year of my PhD in Cultural Geography and currently six months pregnant with my first child.

God knows how it will all work out, but I am blessed with two fantastic supervisors. They're both male, 35 and 65, and so supportive. The younger supervisor has a young child, and we often have long chats about balancing childcare with work/writing. I feel VERY lucky to have this relationship with him - I think that just a few decades ago, female students would feel very uncomfortable discussing this stuff with a male supervisor!

I have done SO much work (five field trips, interviewed 111 people, 80,000 words of interview transcripts) but have SO much work to go... bleaugh... it gets me down sometimes, but I know I'll get there in the end. I just need to stop procrastinating!!

I'm in London, if anyone fancies a coffee sometime :)

Pip

Hey Pip and welcome. Glad to hear you've got such supportive supervisors. Break the tasks ahead into manageable chunks...isn't that what 'they' say?!

Dotty - yes we do seem to be in v.similar situations: long commutes, freelancing on top of f/t PhD and two little uns! I managed to attend DD1's nativity this week but my mind was elsewhere, stressing about a piece of work I was doing with my supervisor. Of all the skills involved in doing a PhD, the writing element is the one I feel most insecure about - anyone else feel like this?

Looking forward to having some time to regroup over Christmas. I plan to tidy up my office, get a plan for the new year. Oh and spend some time with my family!

Thought I'd pop in and offer some support, though I'm not a PhD student anymore.

Found out I was pregnant at 2.75 yrs, June 2009. Quickly wrapped up experiments and somehow wrote a paper in the the first trimester (god the tiredness was a killer). Then wrote up mostly before she was born in March. Took a month off, then a month of odd days to finish in April. Viva in May, two solid weeks of corrections, offically handed in June 16th. Flew to USA (california) June 18th and started a post-doc 1st July.

So it can be done, only half kills you in the process :)

Woo! well done PenguinArmy (ace name!)

You sound like a trouper - like an old colleague of mine who managed to do her PhD in two years (ethics already sorted out for her) with a 1 yr old and 3 yr old. So I guess IT CAN BE DONE!

Hello everyone. Miffytastic - actually, of all the elements of the PhD, writing is the one I'm least worried about as I've always had jobs that involve lots of writing and have done quite a lot of quasi-journalism, which is actually brilliant training. I'm sure you know this already, but the key is to get something (anything) on the page - turn off your router, put your phone on silent and make yourself do x number of words. Then you can edit and revise later, but the blank sheet of paper is always the hardest bit. PenguinArmy - thanks for that. Great to hear from The Other Side.

To update belatedly on my news, had a great meeting with my supervisor last week and felt like I had actually managed to impress him, which seems like no mean feat. Dashed home for DD1's nativity, which at least was hangover-free, unlike the PhD Christmas party... And am putting up my pen until the new year (but hoping to make some headway on my freelance project in the meantime).

(pip - not in London, sadly. But many congrats on the pregnancy. I had both of my children - and a horrible, drawn out miscarriage - while working for a male boss who was brilliantly supportive and we still often meet and gossip about our kids now. One of the small ways in which the world has definitely changed for the better.)

Yes it's not so much writers block / the writing but more the skill of the craft, being able to turn out a good phrase and write well and under pressure (can usually get there after a few redrafts). I've bought a book called 'style - lessons in clarity &grace ' or some such, which I hope will help. Of course, didn't have time to read it before doing the stressy writing thing with my supervisor!
Hope you get the freelance work done OK Dotty, and have a good break everyone :)

Hello again - must come on here more often to stiffen my resolve and remember I'm not alone...

Was planning to get some real work done over the New Year (DD was with her father, my exH) and didn't do nearly as much as hoped, but still, I have something on paper and a clear idea about what to do next (and why I'm doing it). Meeting with my supervisory board on 24th Jan, so that should concentrate my mind a bit.

Regarding style, I think there's a lot to be said for stating the facts as simply as possible - it's fine to aim to be as unshowy as possible.

So here's to a 2011 full of glorious accomplishment for us all!

Hi NNT!You have a supervisory BOARD? that sounds intimidating!

I'm easing myself into things this week... checking emails, watching end note tutorials and now I think I'll have a lunch break. Cough.

Got DD1's birthday party on Friday, so not expecting to get much done then. Although OH is only works 2 days a week and is SAHD the rest of the time, I bet it will be me that ends up flapping about sandwiches and cake decoration.

Hello everyone - happy new year. Had a hectic Christmas, with poorly children and endless entertaining (though phrased like that it sounds more glamorous than it was. Think tea and sandwiches, not champagne and canapes!). I did no freelance work over the hols, so that's still hanging over me. First day back today and like Miffy I am pottering around doing admin type stuff and writing to-do lists rather than actual work. Have also been to the dentist for filling, so feeling a bit sore and sorry for myself. But this afternoon I am going to send 10 emails to fix interviews for my freelance project and read a chapter of a book. I am. I am.

Go dotty!

Miffy, the board thing isn't as bad as it sounds - one of my supervisors is an expert in the subject but not the methodology, the other knows the methodology but not the subject. The third board member is the head of the centre to which I'm attached, as my supervisors come from two different depts. Ah, the joys of interdisciplinarity. I've met them all and they're not too scary in person. Well, we'll see come 24th...